plain and simple

this post was started on 10th of november, 1453hrs

haiz i guess im not going for yf today..........cause i havta wait for my clothes to dry lol.......cause they have to be dripped dry cos they were dipped in some super strong mosquito and insect solution.......

anyway as usual i feel like blogging but i jus dunno where to start and end........cos there are so many trains of thoughts passing thru this station of my mind.....i feel just messed up in my head la......so mayb i decided to jus talk plainly for this post and stuff (hopefully i dun regret sharing too much but i dun want to think so much now la heh......)

coming out on the weekends from the army, its like everything else has rushed so far and fast ahead and we (the army guys) are jus left behind in a stand still........i dunno (and cant remember) if i shared this before but everything seems different.......the way i spend my time is somewhat different as well mayb cos of the lack of time to do much as well la.........the music i listen to is somewhat different as well, an example is for like christian songs in my mp3 player has been much revised i'd say since before i went to bmt until now.......some songs jus dun appeal to me the same way they did last time...i have also added so many new songs into my player, quite a few from klove and im listening to many new songs now....dunno how to describe it for understanding, i myself dun really understand but i know its happening.........

of course i feel that almost everyone i meet when i come out is different, they have moved and progressed with the pace of living in singapore and somehow the things that they are interested in has seemed to have changed overnight
(ok mayb this last sentence is not really linked and it may not come out right, cause i'm halfway watching a touching korean show (something that probably wont happen in real life)
with the tv by my side and my comm the firefox keep hanging and closing.....so i cant really remember wad i jus typed jus now........and if i missed anything that i wanted to say but might have disappeared........oh wells suck thumb (meaning bear with it or sumtin like dat, a phrase i learnt in army)......)

oh yeah before u carry on reading, i would really appreciate it if you could reserve your comments here......as in dun tag your comments on my tag board......email me......erhm if u dun have my email, lol go find out la haha oops sorry.......

hmm ok mayb its time for some of the things that have been weighing my mind down.........to be plain and honest, i feel the pressure to get attached to someone, not to have someone physically to hold or wad but i think its really for the companionship.........i would be honest, i yearn to have a good fren from the opposite gender to share my troubles and stuff with and also may i be bold enough to say, someone to love as well..........walao its like so wierd sharing this on my blog but i betta finish it before i decide to post this entire post somewhere else, somewhere private..........mayb its the unspoken peer pressures of my frens around me (its not their fault, mayb its jus me knowing that they are attached and SEEM (you never really know until your really in the relationship) to be happily in love and stuff) or mayb its the pressures from the world we live in, from the media, from tv shows showing couples happily in love and stuff (even though we know it may not be true sometimes, we know that shows often dun show things that happen in real life but still we're drawn to the facade of the dream...)........hmm...i dunno y i feel this way la its like life gets complicated when ur thinking about this kinda things..........

mayb i hav the face of one that is attached lol…….o_O there is such a thing? lol…..quite a lot of times ready ppl i meet (ppl i dun really noe) ask me if im attached and i answer “no” then they tell me “oh u look like someone who is attached….” I’m like “o kayy…” i wonder wad makes them think dat way lol……there was this time we were having team building, team learning (or wad the army calls “tbtl”) then my company officer commanding was conducting it……he like keep on asking me if i had a girl friend lol for about at least 7 plus times……i oso dunno how to react his repeated, same questions…..as if one answer of no is not enough lol! quite funny la, end up dat became the joke of the day……end up all my platoon mates keep asking me if i had a girl fren the rest of the day……walao talk about pressures even from the OC (in other words the officer commanding)….dats y i say it might be becos i hav a face of one who is attached (lol so weird typing this, mayb this comes off wrong but i’m past caring about dat haha)……..

anyway dats one of my problems…….my spirit is quite heavy now, sian mayb because i havta book in later.......sian la and stuff like dat.....

well i started this post on the 10th of november and i'm onli completing it now, which is 24th of nov so its quite outdated but its wad i felt before at some point of time nonetheless.....

ok looking back it seems funny how i felt so desperate and lonely and stuff like dat when i should actually trust God to provide.....somehow God is gracious and i think He has brought me thru and past thinking like dat i guess........i have come to see the light again.......y i say again? its because quite some time back i had all my thinking sorted out and i didnt think of this kinda thing but i dunno y i recently thot about all these things again....anyway i'm very glad its over and that God has helped me sort out my thinking again.........

some other things i would jus like to note.........i still wonder if u like me.......i wonder in my mind and heart if u are actually showing me concern as a fren (as i presume) or do u care for me more than a fren? some times i feel that u like me and yet sometimes i feel that u jus care for me as a fren, depending on the circumstances, mayb i might jus be thinking too much lol......i guess i would want to noe if u liked me or not but then again i dunno wad to do even if i knew...........i guess im tired of guessing, wondering if i'm right or wrong.....i dun wanna ask u direct cause i think it might spoil our frenship, i rather keep the frenship and not noe THAN know and not keep the closeness but of cos i want the best of both worlds heh.......i jus hope the person im refering to reads this and mayb sumtin will happen, of course i wont reveal the name of the person here lol, dats direct stupidity lol........

i oso dunno wad i hope to achieve by typing all this but im jus typing it before i regret and decide to not post anything publicly.....time to go to sleep......

post ended on 24th november 0106hrs

a little note

hey guys........

i wanted to blog today but i jus dun hav enough time to do so la..........the having to travel so far and so long to my camp frustruates me alot lol........anyway i had a post to post last week but i haven finished it so i will probably finish it when i have the time which is probably next week cause i will be having of in due then, from wednesday i'll be given off cause they are paying us back for all the times we had to stay in cause of activities on weekends......yeah so i'll be free this coming week from wednesday all the way until the weekend lol......its a nice thing to look forward to......jus the freedom for awhile.......ok la till i have the time to properly blog........wait for it if u want to read lol haha........

dear all,

all those who care about me, whether they read my blog or not........i'm very thankful for all of you........well firstly i must say dat my mind is in a little bit of a whirl........ok dats considered good ready lol.....cause when the intention of posting again first came to me, my mind was really in a big whirl..........but i really feel better after going thru today..........i thank God for helping me to get back on feeling somewhat normal and for Him giving me peace as well...........hmm mayb the listening to chistian music helped abit as well...........now im not really thinking of those unnecessary things that i was thinking about before today............

anyway jus a little update for how i've been coping in sispec........well i cant really remember the specifics of all the activities that i've done.......to me i onli remember the ppl i meet and the ppl in charge more clearly, every time i interact with them i bring back with me things that make an impression on me of them.......i dunno if dat made sense but oh wells....moving on, actually i've had quite abit of time to post during most of my weekends out but i never found the time cos i'm either distracted by the tv or wad OR i'm organising my songs in my mp3 player, and somehow whatever i do during the weekends, it seems to take up alot of my time out so jus like dat my weekends are burnt quite fast and the original intention to blog dat week would be procrastinated, left for 'some week then im more free to blog.....'

okayy i havta rush this cos im going for dinner soon, no doubt near my house but still the travelling time to boon lay mrt then still must take bus to my camp.......wa its damn sian la.....and not to mention long la....how i wish i could get posted to tekong lol......at least its near my house la sianded..........everytime i go to camp, it would take like 1 and a half hours to reach.....and i always feel dat the time they want us to book in is so early la.........haha mayb its also due to the long travelling time...........for dat part, if i dun have music to listen to along the journey, its a damn sian feeling lol.......haha im half yearning for a high capacity mp3/mp4 player where if im bored, i can listen to music or watch shows on my player lol.....then i can entertain myself by watching smallville and all kinds of shows lol shiok man......ok but dats part of my dreams until i really convince myself to look for one such player and actually buy it............anyway for sispec, i dun hav much to say about it..........army is the same kinda sian everywhere, almost everywhere is jus brainless exercises to get your combat and physical fitness up.........besides that there is also the mental pressure used by your superiors to mould and shape up your minds to be more tough and mayb mature your thinking in some ways.........dats about all i can think of in a short time.........next time when i have more time i post more la.....and besides dat i havta be careful wad i post about cos i dun wanna get charged by mindef or something even higher cause the whole world who reads my blog can find out every single thing there is to know about the army etc.......well yes! its a chargeable offence or sumtin like dat cause its sorta like a threat to national security when ppl find out too much about your defence force, how they operate, then they mayb able to counter it with a well-planned attack all dat kinda shit la.......especially if its other countries ppl reading heh (no offence to those foreigners (if there are) who read my blog heh.....)

ok i gotta go for dinner ready.............till next time post......this isnt much of an update but yeah.....i hope it will suffice...........bye for now.............

jus a little update

heh its been awhile since i last posted haha......i realise dat too myself but even though i have had my block leave from my passing out parade, i havent had much time to think about blogging haha.....the block leave seems to have passed by so quickly and yet looking back i think i have managed to do so many things dat i wanted to do dat i feel so much like a civilian during my block leave period lol.........


ok so jus a little run through of things before i go to sleep.....

well i have passed out from bmt ready.........in simple words i finish my time in bmt ready.......


POP
ok there was this passing out parade on the september the 11th........good date to remember ah......afterwards terrorists come and bomb tekong on dat date haha.......anyway on the parade day i had to march and run and do alot of drill stuff with my rifle..........we recruits have practiced quite abit for it lol at least like the last 5 days of our bmt were spent practising for the graduation parade which is aka passing out parade........well with all said and done, i must say its really a relief to get off the island called tekong lol........staying there is very boring, especially when u are alone or confined there haha.....i got confined before and dat really crushed whatever high spirits i had so i was quite looking forward to pop cause then i would have a break........(but of course on this date, the break is over ready......i have to go to new unit ready haha.......more on dat later...)
........i must say the break after bmt was very good and refreshing to me, i managed to do ALOT of things, including celebrate my birthday OUTSIDE of camp, OUTSIDE of tekong, the island dat really seems to drive u crazy haha at least to me la........


BLOCK LEAVE
oh yeah block leave is a period of a number of days of break where u can actually be a civilian, or come close to being the civilian dat u were for dat few days.........for me this block leave is a period of break after passing out from bmt, waiting for my next posting to come out......this next posting is where i will be going after bmt, of course haha.........anyway i cant really remember wad i did to spend all my days in exactly but i know dat i woke up late quite a few days, of course i also stayed up late to watch episodes of smallville as well haha.......i can watch the episodes until like 3am then then next day dunno do wad and somehow at nite (as the past few days went) and if possible and im free, i would watch smallville episodes again haha.....good thing i left them to download and run in the background cause my brother, andrew will at least on the comm once a day to check his friendster (i dunno wads the use of dat kinda stuff, i see no meaning anymore...), read his (girl) classmates' blog and stuff like dat.......i cant really say anything about him to him la cos if i do he will give me his attitude problem and i will really get so flared up in my head dat i feel like punching him man........oh wells one of these days if he really says sumtin dat i cant bear he will get it..............well i managed to finish watching the entire smallville season 2 lol.......(yes yes im quite lagging behind on the shows but something betta than nothing.....)


SISPEC - MY POSTING
well the block leave is to wait for my posting rite.....well i got posted to sispec.........dat stands for the skool of infantry specialists, meaning i will pass out or graduate from it ultimately a sergeant......i must say i was abit disappointed with my posting, not entirely cause i dun mind to try and make it work and make do with wad i have been given........i was disappointed because i somehow wanted to got to OCS, officer cadet skool even though i have heard all about it being so shiong and all but ask me to explain y i wanna go OCS i would tell u i dun really know la, mayb its because of the 'honour and glory' haha LOL, didnt expect it to be so easy to explain.....but yeah i cant really its exactly dat but oh wells i cant be bothered to try la..........anyway so fast forward back to today this day this hour........so i got my posting and like later, 240907, monday i will have to wake up super early like 6am la and then i havta get ready and leave the house to get to pasir labar camp by 8 - 830am la.........sian and i feel shagged ready lol.....anyway im going to sleep now heh....hope this is enough of an update

confinement

here i am alone in the bunk.....alone in the company (with the exception of the company orderly sergeant).......alone in my whole cluster of companies around my company block.......big Big sighs!......i could have avoided this and all but since it has happened, i jus havta suck thumb and take my punishment as a man......(i cant find the paper dat i wrote a long whole thing on so i guess this is all i will be back-posting, all this @ 23rd March 2008)

no time

im sorry for all those who keep coming to my blog only to find its not been updated..........

i was typing a post but i haven finished it and the weekends when i book out the time is too short for me to finish my post heh.....anyway an update is coming soon, when i next book out or sumtin la.....rite now i havta rush outta the house cause i havta book in at 1930 later.............and now im going for dinner with my parents........

so yeah update next time....sorry guys........see you all at army day most probably haha........

mind full and brain washed

it always seems to be about the mind ah.....ok ok i will change when i do happen to think of some other blog post title........i think its about time i posted abit on my blog or else my blog will be quite dormant for quite a long long while lol.......


so now yes i'm in the service (or slavery) of the nation.........i guess there is a reason y they call it the ns liability lol.......anyway about 2 yrs of my time would be spent in the army lol......1 yr 10 mths to be exact but it jus seems longer when ur inside haha.......


anyway now for the thing i would be posting about......quite a few ppl have asked me the standard question "how is ns?" and actually to be honest, i dun really noe how to reply lol.........i would jus say "oh....ok lol......shagged...." cause i really dunno wad else to say! to be honest i dun really remember (nor do i wish to remember wad i've done in the army) when i book out dat is........


hmm ok mayb i give a brief summary of wad 'we' do i the army or wad i can remember rather.........we all wake up quite early compared to other ppl in the work force i guess (dat was random) but yeah we all wake up at 0530 and normally do 5 bx at 0545 then go for breakfast at 0600 lol......see im brain washed ready and i cant say i really like the feeling lol.......everyday we have different training stuff to do la..........one thing is dat my bunk level is the top floor which is the 5th storey and we all havta climb up and down the stairs dozens of times a day to get stuff, change attire, keep rifles in our cupboards, area cleaning and whatever nonsense reason which requires us to get to our bunks lol.............besides dat we have other physical training and stuff like standard obstacle course (SOC), aggregate group run (AGR), 60-120 runs (where u sprint for 60 secs and then jog for 120 secs), static exercises and alot of other stuff which i cant really remember to train up our physical body condition, not to mention the pumping and punishment we do when someone is late or does something stupid.........


i cant really remember much of wad we do in tekong la cos im tired most of the time, i think 7 hours of sleep a day is not enough for me la.......ok mayb i would say i normally get less than 7 hrs cos i sleep slightly later than normal ppl cos i am somehow doing some things at nite before lights out (as they call it).....then when there is lights out, im probably still bathing and all......ok jus a few minutes at most la, not much difference.......but besides being shagged from the day's training, i'm more tired cos i try to wake up about an hour or so earlier to do my quiet time before i start the day lol.......shagged man.......so cos of the tiredness and mayb the training is jus training -- jus routine and wadever not, i dun really remember much of wad i have done in the island called tekong............


ok onto how i feel about being in ns.........firstly i must say i miss my freedom as a civilian ALOT.........there were so many things dat i did before i enlisted dat i really miss lol......its kinda duh la, wont everyone who has gone into the army think so? unless the person is someone who enjoys the army and its system lol..........for me before coming into the army i thought it would be ok for me cos i thot it was jus training and all...........but i guess it is not wad i expected, i was shocked for abit when i first entered the service of the nation as they so fondly call it, for the first week or so i guess........but after dat i adjusted to the system, and the way things worked.........but i was still very much affected by the lack of morality and the vulgar vocabulary that is so rampant in every platoon lol.....the f word is like so easy to come out.......f this that f ing that.......haiz it really makes me quite sad to see this happening........i wish it would jus end.............and dat ppl can jus talk nicely without using vulgarities like its nothing.....well actually to them i think they dun think much about it but it still reflects some things about their background...........i guess its the norm to say vulgarities if not its like the you are not normal and its definite dat u would stick out like a sore thumb among almost everyone (including some christians i know) scolding vulgarities........dunno how to describe it but it seems wierd to say the least to not use any vulgarities.......sometimes u jus get influenced by them and then the first thing dat pops into mind for u when describing someone bad or when u feel like scolding someone (feel onli, it means onli in ur thoughts u want to scold someone...) is the f word at times............well sometimes onli la, actually i dun really noe wad im typing and y im typing it cos i first started this post one week ago la, so many things have happened during this week and stuff like dat already so dun blame me for my discontinuedness........


every time i book out, i feel as if every thing outside seems different lol, either dat or mayb im the one dat has changed....i dunno how to explain it but..........its like the songs i used to be comfortable listening to has somehow changed, whether it is christian or secular songs i dun seem to enjoy it the way i did before i went into army.........even the way i worship and sing praises seem different starting from the inside out.......my heart feels different and besides the obvious literal reason for my singing being different (my voice sounds different now from all the mindless shouting in camp), songs jus dun impact me the way they did before i enlisted........so many things i dunnno or im unsure of........i think zhi wen is rite, when i put on the helmet i think i lost half of my brains, cant really think or process information dat well, i've been brain-washed to think in the regimentation kinda way......and brains is not the onli thing i lost............i feel so detached from everything in the real world, detached emotionally from everyone else cos its like every time i book out, the only ppl i spend decent amount of time with is my family -- my parents mainly.....everytime i come out there is onli time to give them my dirty clothes to wash and then i would go to sleep most of the time i book, no time for anything else like blogging or even coming online much.........its mostly jus rest and food and mayb at most attending yf and church............besides all that i miss my hair strangely but yes i do and mayb wad i miss most is the freedom and really so much free time i had as a civilian.........


oh wells i guess enough has been said, i cant think much ready, im tired and im going to sleep ready....here is an update for ppl who read my blog..........

words from the mind

heh wierd post title eh.......but oh wells im jus lazy to think of anything else....


anyway jus some perhaps random thots in my mind rite now.........well im going to ns this friday and ppl have been asking me if im dreading the experience or looking forward to it and i will go with the standard ok lol answer which is wad i feel lol haha........cause no natural person would look forward to ns lol, come on no matter how close u feel to ur family and wadever connections in the outside world, im sure most of the men who have completed ns or have some experience of ns in singapore would agree dat its betta to be out than in lol.........the onli thing i look forward to for ns is to enjoy myself there (have a good company, good job promotion status (i'm not even sure if i will be signing on or not but dats still to be considered, based on the circumstances lol), good pay etc)...........i dun dread the coming time in ns cause its 'ok la' for me.........its jus physical training (and mayb abit of bad company spouting nonsense and stuff) and all to me la, im ok with physical training la........the government pays u every month to work out (and be totured and wad not haha), looking on the bright side the physical training seems to me like wad i can take, wad i can endure, its jus the repercussions like me being tired from it and some other things i dun wanna mention -- the things i've been brooding about and for now its recently solved (see the previous post for of an idea)...............etc..........i really need discipline to make time for God i guess, haha being a person dat likes to sleep heh...........hmm also about my bunk mates etc, i wonder if the frenships with them will be like wad its been for me throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary education years, like i noe them but somehow i am not close to them, we hardly get to talk about serious things and stuff, mayb its because i probably might not join them in many activities dat they like to do (for example onli) like kbox, pool, bowling........i might not enjoy myself as much with them cause i mayb dun relate as well to the company of frens as compared to church frens whom i have gotten to noe for years and the level of being comfortable is there and u can really be urself, be crazy and nobody will fault u about it cause it u haha.............oh wells on a side note i feel restricted by wad ppl think sometimes esp ppl i dunno well, u cant jus say wadever u want or do wadever u feel like doing without being judged by dat other person lol (not dat their judgement matters to me at all but its jus the fact dat u will be judged if u do something out of place or say sumtin out of line)........mayb dats y i keep quiet sometimes? doesnt matter if i seem muter (as someone told me before) i'm comfortable keeping quiet so dat it seems i dun have an opinion about the things ppl are saying but sometimes i jus keep my opinions to myself.......so dat i would not look, appear or seem to be strange, wierd and out of place (which i do not feel much anywhere, because im happy being alone in a crowd, sounds wierd but i dunno how else to describe it)


ok la enough about ns la........now like quite sad everyone talk onli talk to me about ns........like its some impending doom lol haha.......it goes like "hey daniel wad u doing now?" "... oh i finish poly ready, waiting for ns ...." "oh i see, when ah?" "... erhm 13th july, friday" "friday the 13th! lol hahah.....enjoy ah(or sometimes its good luck)"............lol i think i've had dat conversation so many times i cant even remember who i had them with lol.........but after dats said, i feel kinda glad dat ppl are concerned about me sometimes, its not as if im suffering from a serious lack of concern from anyone (afterall i have a Heavenly Father who cares so much about every bit of my life, isnt dat enough?).....well but its nice to have more ppl concerned..........


once again once dats said and done, i wonder if dat concern is one dat stays or if its jus the rite thing to say and do at the moment......oh wells onli time will tell so i dun need to worry about this kinda pointless things dat come to my head when im too free for anything haha.........well well sunday was the last day for a long long time dat ppl will be seeing me with my tail and longer hair haha.......wanted to blog about this on saturday but somehow something kept me away from using the comm too late..............


i went to watch abit of the last period of wilfred's match on sunday nite........he told me about it and was abit sad dat nobody was going to support him dat nite heh........so since i never watch a real floorball match before i persuaded my family to go tampines for dinner......haiz i wish i had gone there earlier..........if onli i could have cycled.........if only i went to the tampines sports hall earlier then i could have caught more action and also mayb be an encouragement to wilfred as a motivation to play betta heh.....but mayb im onli deluding myself haha, mayb he'll jus play the same jus dat his spirits and morale might have been lifted.........anyway he was really happy i came to support him and watch his match though, i saw it on his face after the game ended.........wilfred's team was some "...rogue" or "...vogue"or sumtin like dat la....they played against some "...squirrels" team la......wilfred's team lost like 4 - 0......which is quite shocking cause wilfred is such a good player, but i guess his team all very small sized wann la, they got eaten by the bigger opponents in the squirrels team..........wilfred told me dats y he had to go in harder while defending his opponents..........i dun really respect the squirrels team even though they won, cause their attitude and sportmanship was not really very good la.....when the opposing team got a bench penalty or was the cause for a free hit their team would jeer at their opponents, calling them names and wad not..............so noisy la, typical muhds haiz.......but they still won a clean sheet summore, wad to do............life is unfair at times....


now i talk abit about today........today, aunty lily, elizabeth, joanne and i went out for dinner haha.......we went all the way to buena vista for dinner lol........i think it was supposed to be for lizzy's birthday and a farewell for me to ns.......but it dragged and we were supposed to have lunch on sunday but aunty lily had sumtin on (and so very typical of her at dat haha but oh wells she is aunty lily, dats descriptive enough of her hurhur).......so it ended up on today lol........buena vista is abit far for me lol.......and i like suah gu like dat, i've never even gone there before la.........like i dun really noe where is holland v which is near there......as a sri lankan fren of mine said before, there is hardly any singaporean who has gone to every part of singapore before, while he boasted dat he visited all parts of india or sumtin like dat la......he said it in spite and i think he is quite an idiot thinking but ok moving on........we went to settler's cafe, i have heard quite nice things about the place in general and now today i finally get to actually try it haha.........firstly the space is very very small, if only it were bigger and jus as cosy then i guess there would be so many more customers and stuff..........the food there is quite limited i must say but i guess that place is more for its games......the owners probably spend more of their finances getting the latest games and stuff like dat instead of buffing up the menu with steaks and wjat have you la hahaha..........aunty lily and joanne has cajun chicken which was ok la, they gave me rather huge portions to try lol! well aunty lily gave me large portions to try, joanne gave me abit also cause she didnt finish.........lizzy ate some chicken sandwich i guess, she gave me one portion of it also cause she couldnt finish........girls ah forever eat so little lol, going out to eat with them at expensive places helps alot when ur a guy lol cause can jus eat the great food they order (eh come to think of it now, our sets came with ice-cream! but they didnt give us!! and i was supposed to have mashed potatoes with my set! which wasnt there! haiz i feel abit cheated but its ok i guess, we had alot of fun, if onli we had more time)..........we played like 3 games haha quite fun heh, we started off with taboo (haha! i suddenly remembered joey and lizzy playing it haha.......lizzy was describing to joey "wad do u need when u drink too much alcohol?" and joey straightaway guess "...liver cycerosis..." like LOL la she is a med student see but its so funny cause the word joey was supposed to guess was rehab HAHA!) and then we played mad gab which was a pronounciation game.......woah man......dat was very hard to play cause it was like they give u some words (which make no sense at all) to pronounce and ur supposed to pronounce them quickly and try to form a word or a phrase like "canned egg my highs of eu" or sumtin like dat la is supposed to be "cant take my eyes off you".......we're allowed to give hints and all but its still hard.......then we played bang! haha joey and i taught aunty lily and lizzy how to play it heh.......and it quite amusing to see a woman in her 50s learning how to play a game like bang lol.......but anyway we had fun with the first timers haha, joey was the sheriff and she ended up killing her own vice, who was lizzy, who happened to take damage from the dynamite dat joey put out heh.......we played it with the expansion pack so we had like a mountain of cards in the deck.........the expansion is green in colour, quite nice, and the characters they have at settlers were like uber many la........so many never see before lol......we didnt finish the game of bang cause they all had to go so yeah ok la not too bad for the first time...........we wanted to play another game as well called marriage material which sounded quite interesting lol but no time......hurhur mayb next time when i can book out lol, we go holland v there and play games hahaha...........after dat we had a short time of prayer in aunty lily's car......i thank God for joey and lizzy's frenship.........in more ways than i can express i guess......i do thank God for aunty lily as well.....too many things la haha......


oh yeah i must also say dat the prayer thing in my last post didnt exactly come out the way i meant it to come out lol........i dunno how else to describe it but it jus came out very crude and wad not to me la........mayb i shouldnt have put this on my blog.........but then how then? are there any other ways to find out the answer? mayb i put it on my blog in a moment of folly, i didnt noe wad i was doing, mayb the reason i did it was wrong.....


(mumbles, mayb i've been thinking too much of wad my father said about it....i dun even noe if its reliable or not, mayb depending on circumstances and stuff like dat la......etc)


......haiz these are all the musings on my part.........i keep thinking i shouldnt have put it on but wad to do? probably literal dozens haven seen it since its the 'latest' post in my blog...........aiya dun care.......i apologise to everyone if the content of my last post was too misleading /disturbing to you..........i dunno wad to say cause wads done is done, please forgive me and jus take it dat i didnt type anything there......sorry.......


anyway for those who have already said yes, i urge u all to reconsider and all......if u really think u can or cannot do it, seeing its an everyday thing and all.......jus let me noe of your final decision and even if no one respond to this prayer thing or even if alot of ppl respond to this prayer thing, it doesnt really matter to me, it wont really make me any much happier or any much sadder, whatever it is i will jus accept it.....im done worrying about things dat i cannot really control and its about due time i learnt how to really trust God for everything......after all looking back i think He has been there all the time, whether i notice or remember or not........i shouldnt box God up to be so small dat He cant work mightily in my life, in whatever areas it is..........haiz enough of dat....


oh yeah its been a long post which i have started since yesterday 10/7/07 (since im jus lazy to change all the 'todays' jus take it dat today in this post means 10/7/07 ok? thanks).......anyway i'm jus grateful for every one of you who visit my blog......thank you all for reading this long post...sorry its so long, i tend to ramble alot......


i think i had enough for the nite, time to reply tags:

jon chua : its true sometimes.........recently in main service we sung a song dat i liked cause of the lyrics, but it sounded abit off to me cause we sung it very much slower than when i was first introduced to the song......i guess it varies with ppl la taste and the song as well......

jon lee : hmm but u must give the contemporary christian music the credit dat even though there is hardly any difference from secular music, the difference is there, no matter how subtle it may seem, in the lyrics etc.....huh? its not whether i would like u to or not.......its up to u la......if you would like to, jus let me noe lol.........

christina : hey erhm....u are christina lim rite? (if im not wrong, my mind is in quite a whirl now, sorry if i got it wrong)......the primary 5 one in yf? anyway thanks.....but its everyday leh......do consider and let me noe k? thanks so much.......

204/1

i'm glad its over, wad now?

firstly i jus wanna say dat i thank God for being God........sounds and seems funny jus typing or saying it out heh but im really thankful He Is (not dat He Is good or He Is bad or anything but He just Is).........

i jus thankful dat the things dat have been weighing me down a little bit has (too simply) been solved lol........mayb its turns out im not ready for it which is fine to me, at least it is an answer, instead of the many confusing thots, emotions and wad not..........my answer came from this 'little black book ... ' but im thankful for the answer at long last...........

rite now i dun really noe wad to think about quite seriously.......cause the past few months i've been thinking about this and mayb pondering over it but now dat the problems has more or less been solved, i really dunno wad to do in my spare cognitive processing time.......almost quite literally i dunno wad to think and ponder about heh........mayb its a good thing to remain thot free and stuff like dat...........when i observe little children, i am jus so amazed with their innocence, their trust of you, an almost total stranger, the way they think, so pure and simple........i jus enjoy being in contact with them, makes me rethink the way i approach alot of things.........

recently, in the daily bread QT, i think the recurring theme (or at least the thing dat sticks in my mind) is about trusting God even though ur life may be in the midst of a storm and stuff like dat
.......seems quite encouraging to me.......well i actually remember today's QT, something about planning for the future and stuff like dat...... being flexible yes! haha......being flexible to God's plans.............actually i confess dat i am really at a loss whether i would go into uni or not, i dunno wad i would do there, whether i would enjoy it or not, wad would "happen" there etc.....but i feel quite happy dat it is all in God's hands and i jus havta trust Him (even though it is hard for me sometimes).........i need to grow a bigger spiritual heart, a heart dat longs more for my God then after dat a heart dat longs for better relationships with family and frens and everything else...........

digressing abit, i haven been really listening to christian music (even though i noe dat is the best to keep ur moods uplifted and stay there as long as ur listening to it) cause my christian 'collection of songs' is jus quite messy cause i once had a mentality dat christian songs are meant to be kept and listened to whether u like it or not, as long as they are songs very rich in meaning..........actually its not really jus cause my christian collection is messy, its the comparison thing la, i mean i sorted out my secular songs in my mp3 player and i must say i really enjoy it lol..........so its mainly cause my secular songs are too much like a serenade dat i seem to enjoy listening to secular songs more than most boring christian songs now.........by 'boring christian songs' i mean those slow, and some of them the singers i dunno how to comment lol quite jialat la....in short its those songs dat u hear, when ur not really happy, after listening to the song u feel more or less the same or even worst lol cause the song is good at other times but its jus the wrong kind song(s) at dat time lol............

of course christian songs are not as fanciful and wad not in terms of the instruments used, all the little frills here and there etc, as secular songs lol........cause for christian songs, the focus is more on God and not the instruments.............but sometimes i ponder on sumtin daryl said to me sometime ago, i tend to disagree to this statement.......but is the current generation really a generation dat cannot live without faster rhythm and more lively music -- even in christian music? i think about it for myself first and wonder if i have subconsciously followed in the world's footsteps without really ever realising it........is zion gearing more towards dat direction cause the youths simply have a different need? a need for more livelier songs to keep abreast with the world? i guess there is nothing wrong with livelier songs as long as the focus is on God lol......but then after dat, the question is how lively to go? how far till the liveliness turns from God-centered to being centered on man? i guess these questions are not easy to be answered........

oh yeah i forgot sumtin..........hmm can i ask who would be willing to pray for me EVERYDAY when i go into NS? not so much dat i have any prayer requests or not but i jus wanna noe (for certain reasons) if any of you would.........actually to be honest, i was looking for more of the female responses but i guess both genders oso can.......

anyway i think dats enough for me for the nite, so much for wanting to post a short post before i had an early nite......oh wells goodnite.com....

reply to tag:

eleanor ho: hurhur good lol......aiyo small thing like dat oso worry quite ait
ah......dots


203/1

Hosanna – Paul Baloche

Hosanna – Paul Baloche

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, we turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, we long for You
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

Hear the sound of hearts returning to You, we turn to You
In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new, You make us new
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Pres- ence all our fears are washed away, washed away

CHORUS
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Ho- san- na, ho- sanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus
(Repeat)
Ho- san- na, ho- san- na
Ho- san- na, ho- san- na

this was a song timothy sng, marcus sng's brother uploaded onto my ag website......nice man i was looking for this song for awhile since zhi wen introduced it.........now i can hear it!!! nice man.....

okk replies to tags:

jon lee : ok im glad there's no offence taken.......hmm i shall not reply much to ur comment.........
its not about enlistment.....im not worried about enlistment at all.......the date is 13th july......

crystal: erhm i dunno how to reply u oso......nvm forget about it........heh

eleanor ho: i guess u already have ur answer....but i still think u should give to the person u first thot of when u bought it......hint hint to ur darling heh........up to u la..........hah


202/1

some retail therapy

im going to sleep soon so im going to make this quite short heh........today i went out with shermaine to bugis haha....i was late cos i slept too late yesterday i think so today i will sleep early and let my body get some good rest.........

before having retail therapy, i met shermaine like 20 mins late but since she got there quite early, was more late then not haha.........anyway we had lunch at macs, nothing special, except dat shermaine didnt eat her fries and i so cleverly upsized my (student) meal (shermaine used her student pass for both of us heh) and like before dat, i bought 3 small brownies from the four leaves at bugis........i must say their small brownies look so much more appetising than their big ones, one look i can tell the big one is not very nice, recently i think i have eaten enough brownies to noe heh, if the top of the brownie is very chocolatey and soft, eating the brownie will most probably be very messy and the bottom parts will not be too nice cos its either too wet or rather too dry heh......

yeah so i ate one of the 3 brownies and for lunch i had ALOT of fries la cos shermaine didnt eat her fries la then end up i brought back almost all of the pack of fries dat i so smartly upsized home to share with my brothers.....lol at least i got a bigger drink lol.......so we went shopping at bugis street the market there after dat...........i think we spent a suprising amount of time walking around and looking at bags along the same alley la........

actually i was more the one looking for a bag and mayb a watch, shermaine was jus tagging along to see if she had any of the same things in mind as well........well i think my theme today was to buy green stuff haha.....i wanted to buy (ideally) a green bag, like the colour sumtin like those crumpler bags but they are expensive i noe so i was hoping to find a greeen colour bag dat i fancied there heh........i couldnt find the colour and type dat i wanted so in the end i paid $30 for a green denim kinda bag, dunno how to describe it but i think its nice and i think it can last..........shermaine saw a bag dat she wanted to buy, its sorta like a handbag but quite deep, she says she wants to use it for skool but i really think it doesnt suit her lol cos its and its $40 lol

before dat i was looking to buy a green kinda watch, one dat looks like a fake adidas watch except the colour is not in the adidas range hurhur.....ideally i would want to get the colour matthew and jieren have la, i think dats nice man but i dunno where to find dat colour, and not like pay 100+ for a watch i dun really need.....i saw this dirty green colour 'fake adidas watch' the last time i went bugis with jasmine so i was jus looking to get it for fun la, not cos i needed a watch.......i have like 3 already haha......one metal, one with the cracked glass dat i normally wear and my supposedly ns watch which i jus got the batt replaced lol but i think dat strap is too short lol........lol so i found the green watch i was looking for and i hung onto it for quite awhile cos shermaine was taking such a long time to decide on a watch to buy lol.....she was deciding between a watch dat was the brand kevin (haha, so coincedental serene's brother who happens to be sher's god-brother) and some other brand la.........end up she got the other brand one cod it was easier to read the time and oso cos the watch brand wasnt kevin haha! but i still think the kevin one not bad wad, quite style and different as well haha..........

haha im quite satisfied with my purchases today heh....next time when there is time i will blog wad i can remember about all the camps that have passed i.e. childrens camp, youth retreat (for bishan) and church camp haha.......remind me to blog about them if u wish to read about them heh........

replies to tag before i go to bed:

eleanor ho: haha wad gender confused? u are ah? so sad for u hurhur.......up to u la.......im jus the willing receiver...if dun have anything oso im ok with it haha.......lol ur maggie mee complaining ready, now ur the one in hot soup! HAHAHA!!!

maggie mee: haha lol........ur her best best fren in the soup leh, how can she leave u in the lurch without anything? haha she will confirm get u wann la, if not at most i share my chocolate factory dat she buys me back with u la HAHAHA......

201/1

i think a reply is at hand

hurhur i think my blog is quite stagnant for awhile.......soon it will be one month of stagnance haha......im tired so i will jus make it quick........not much of an update but yeah i think its either too much or nothing much to update about for now......next time then i see how la.........

replies to tags:

jon chua: i guess ur the first to tag since i last replied so there i'll reply u first.......i dunno about the slowly it'll get easier to open up thing but i trust that God will work what He wills in my life......

jon lee: i got nothing else to say except ur a bucket man jon.......thanks for letting me noe about the finding christian frens in ns and all......to be really honest i didnt really appreciate the comments after the graduation bit, so lest i say anything i would regret, im jus not going to reply to dat.......like aunty esther would say (i've heard her say this like countless times even tho i jus gotten to know her thru childrens camp and all) "i'm very transparent about my life........."
......well in my case im jus transparent with u here......i hope u appreciate my frankness.....

kenji: no la u think too highly of me la seriously.........this is not really the most honest things i can shared, there's still alot to be shared, things i might or might not want ppl to know......
autobiography im not too sure about it la but see how la =) (you should feel happy, im asking so many ppl to refer to my reply to ur tag la hahah)

GOLDIE: haha hi, nice to see you at church camp......stay cheerful heh

april and jon lee: refer to my reply to kenji's tag about the honesty bit heh, sorry abit lazy to type it so many times, my apologies..........thanks for the comment about childrens camp, i dun think its been any of my efforts to control them.......i really think its God dat worked in the kids really, looking back i think could not have almost single-handedly (of course there was my partner abel) make the children listen and follow our instructions esp on stage for the skit (super last min) everything.......all glory be to God!! =D

eleanor ho: lol i thot i wont be able to see you before i go into ns but i guess u proved me wrong heh......ok u promise ah haha i feel so thick-skinned.....get me really good food as well HaHaHa.......no la im not so thick-skinned.......up to u to get whatever u want la......im jus the willing receiver hahahaha........take care of urself over there k?

rachel yeo: Hello! thanks for dropping by! i didnt noe u knew my blog add and dat u come to read haha...thanks for tagging anyways........

gayle: haha its really funny meh.......oh refer to my reply to kenji's tag about the honesty thingy as well can? haha sorry to u as well cos im lazy to retype many things..........
hmm about being passionate about prayer i think deep in my heart i wont say i was passionate about it....it was more like i needed to get honest with myself and God (who actually doesnt need me to tell Him anything cos He knows everything).......and the graveyard shift mayb it was a good thing to me at least dat u didnt come heh for some reasons unknown to u haha (i cant really say cos i wann keep this to myself and hold onto it as a reminder of the time i spent alone with God in dat room)......dun worry about it.....i think spending dat 5 tiring hours in the prayer room was sumtin dat God impressed upon my heart to go 'with or without you' <-- HAHAHA......you meaning frens and all so yeah =) although i cant really put my finger on it, i feel i've really been blessed by the time spent in the prayer room on hindsight.........there's always opportunities to pray, make time haha..........




this is a note to some ppl -- to some ppl who come to read my blog or at least know about it, when u do come across it, i hope dat you will come across this note.........to all those who have been treating me so well, especially some attached (and some non-attached) ones, this may sound silly cos there are some of u i feeel might be 'possibilities of more than furtherness' (i'll jus leave it at dat without explaining, i know who you are can can ready), can you all not treat me so well? i find its really tough for me cos i feel i'm in a very emotionally needy time now and you ppl treating me so nicely makes me feel desperate and many other things lol =| yeah i sometimes wish i could tell it to each of you honestly but dat would be so hard, so awkward, so damaging to the frenship, so... etc........of course this IS ONLI APPLICABLE TO FEMALE BEINGS lol........wa i like this song im listening to rite now, it sounds appropriate for wad im typing, tho i didnt really pay attention to the lyrics except the "tear out my heart (listening to it again im not too sure if its eyes or heart but oh wells i jus leave it as heart for the emo purpose it serves hahaha), feed them to lions" part......the song is Five For Fighting - Two Lights.......im laughing at myself how i sound so emo and stuff, got some for moment for wad im typing everything, especially this........haha dats all from this wearied body for now.......i guess this counts as enough of an (honest) update.......

time to sleep, good nite.com

200/1

graduate lohh

first i must say i really totally forget the amount of ppl who have access to my blog, ppl who know about my blog, ppl who wont really read my blog but yet might once in a blue blue moon pop by for a read or two..........luckily i realised today dat i dun have anything to hide on my blog, i jus blog things the way they are.......thankfully i realise dat i onli blog about relatively honest stuff and the more brutally honest ones are either kept in memory or in my private blog haha........

well i had my graduation earlier today...........it was alot of fun to say the least haha..........hmm let me see if this works....i'll talk about the before graduation, the event itself and after hahaha......so chronological eh haha.......

okk before my graduation,
ella asked me quite sometime back if i could make it for an india mission trip with her, kristine koh, zhi wen and i dunno who else........i readily agreed at dat time but a few days after dat i realised my graduation ceremony was smack rite in the middle of the trip so i couldnt go and because they lacked the prerequisite of 2 guys, which was supposed to be me and zhi wen, they all couldnt go........i hated to disappoint them......then i found out dat kristine koh couldnt make it as well.....but dat didnt really exactly take away my guilt....esp when ella asked me wad i would be doing at graduation.....i replied her, collect my cert and nothing much else, cos i dun really noe........at dat time i felt like really not going for my graduation ceremony.....i knew i could pon it but i didnt noe dat a few of my frens were deciding not to go for it and then collect their diploma cert some other time.......if onli i talk to jie hao, this fren of mine from year one, earlier then i might be in india with ella, zhi wen and whoever else at this point in time ready..........i didnt bring myself to pon my graduation ceremony by the way (duh) haha.....

fast forward to something of the present or recent events,
i went out with my mom jus yesterday shopping for my graduation attire haha.......end up i bought one nice long sleeve green shirt and a shimmery dark green tie.....it felt very good heh......my shirt was bought from g2000, sounds like a expensive brand rite? haha.....got offer dats y my mom bought it, the shirt cost $37.10 after discount.......and the tie i got metro for free cos my mom had $10 metro voucher........so there my graduation attire...i duno how many times i walked to and fro between metro and isetan jus to find the rite tie, shirt etc....

well down to my feelings about the graduation event itself........at first i didnt really noe wad to expect for today..........oh yeah we all, graduands havta wear a special gown lol, and we all had to pay at least $20 plus to rent it (of course more if we wanted to buy the gown for
momento).........at first i was thinking wads so special about this graduation ceremony, must pay twenty over dollars for some gown (designed by tp design students by the way haha) summore, i should not have gone, and i should have gone to india..........haha yeah but today i can say i enjoyed myself quite abit...............i met alot of frens (mostly from my course and very small minority from other courses) whom i didnt see for a long time, and i kinda forget dat poly is a place where there are all kinds of teenagers, thin, more fleshy, short, tall, pretty, average ppl..........its a nice feeling to jus see them all again, reminded of all the times we slogged together in various settings on our projects, with almost seemingly random ppl...........i think being in poly and the same course together, jus to be the normal tp mwc graduating population together means sumtin to me, of course its better if we could all get diploma with merit and stuff like dat.....but for the general average population who is unable to get the dip with merit, jus a diploma speaks sumtin in itself dat we all have sumtin common....something normal......heh

we didnt have any rehearsal on how to walk and wad to do haha......alot of us were quite nervous and scared as our turn came nearer and nearer haha....in fact a few ppl were abit suah gu and a little bit of mistakes were made on stage haha....i guess no one from our course made any mistakes as far as i noe haha....i cant wait to get the stage photos dat i ordered from today....one close up and a full body 5r each shot for $5 i think the price is quite reasonable heh..........after the ceremony everything i walked around at the refreshments area and stuff, i saw everyone taking pictures with ppl they knew.........i dunno la, i felt abit of anti-socialness cos not say i didnt want to take photos with anybody but i would have taken with more ppl if i knew who to take pictures with or rather who i wanted to have pictures taken with and also if i had a camera dat belonged to me haha and not my mom,taking her camera would complicate things alot haaha.......

i feel it alot la (everywhere i go la), its natural la, the bottomline is u dunno dat particular person(s) dat well so since their not exactly frens ur familiar with, u cant really take pictures with them (and talk deeper to them for dat matter) and not wonder y u even did wad u did lol........its a natural thing for me to not talk or approach ppl cos i dunno them and not only dat oso becos i dunno wad to talk to them about...........

end up i happened to take a photo with my fren nai xiang (my fren with me since year one but as usual i didnt noe him very very well) and jun you (someone i knew since sec skool but not too well everything).........i didnt even noe who took the photo for us lol.....some stranger i didnt recognise........must be jun you or nai xiang's dad heh......i happened to be there cos i wanted to congratulate them on their graduation and end up nai xiang jus asked me to come in and take photo....heh i thot he asked me to take the photo for him and jun you then i turned around i realised he asked me to be in the photo lol........its like one of those times dat i was like huh? why did i do dat cause i didnt really noe them dat well......and stuff like dat la.......sometimes its an obligatory thing at times.......heh

mayb a way to explain why i dunno them dat well is cos as a christian i shouldnt participate in all the things dat they do in the world, so since i dun participate in those things they do (like lying or talking about girls and stuff, these are examples onli, jus to help ppl understand, may not be entirely true...), then i dunno them well? i dunno la mayb im jus a loner.....since young, reminising i seem to hav one thing constant in my life, dats being a loner and oso not being really close to skool frens, compared to church frens whom im really close to..............

well ok frankness aside......i oso managed to take a photo with kimberly and hui ling haha..........haha again i was there to congratulate them on the way to get a drink since they wer in front of the drinks table but end up i didnt get to do so......jus photos haha.........quite funny, cos huil ling was the one who wanted to take a photo with me haha....and i didnt have my diploma folder with me, it was with my parents at the end of the hall......so in order to take the picture, kimberly lent me her diploma folder jus to take the photo haha then after dat change over haha.....so funny heh.....ok to be honest i think i didnt really feel wierd like wad was i doing there taking photos all dat, i think its cos i noe kimberly and hui ling betta la i guess, huiling i talked to her more than i normally would cos she was in the same cross disciplinary class for freehand drawing together with me so we talked more and i got to know her betta then haha, im always amused at how she can make me smile by acting silly and talking funny things.....she is this rather short girl but the onli thing is dat she seemed to be very bubbly all the time haha......ok then kimberly was the same group with me for one of our projects, and i must say we did talk more than normally i talk with other group mates haha, i guess dats called mutual clicking........

OR mayb its cos the 2 of them are jus girls who look relatively cuter (duh, then guys definitely) HAHAHA no la dat was a joke........even if i liked them in the relationship kinda way (i dun deny dat i thot about it before, but yeah i think about it with almost everyone i meet so yeah its nothing special), i probably wouldnt let it continue cos they are not christians lol.......if they are christians then say la......or i jus rather wait for God's best choice and not settle for the potential 2nd best option......even tho 2nd best is still good everything, its jus not as good and cannot compare to the best option........so jus waiting for me now la...........i thot long and hard if i wanted to share this on a public blog but yeah everybody would noe la.........i would be lying greatly to myself alone if i were to say dat at this age and stuff, i dun think about relationships, about '"going further than being jus frens'" with ppl i noe, from the opp gender.........its the hormones and also the age that this world has come to, and also the advertisements for products which everybody knows (i hope everybody i know, knows this) are selling some other thing other than their product, like happy families, teaching a false sense of relationships all dat..........adverts are dangerous stuff when u are relaxed and not discerning to them.........haha look wad a simple post about my graduation has become.....but i'll be honest, come on poly is a place with ppl, many attractive ppl and many ppl who will spend so much to beautify themselves for dunno who to see lol......if ur in the company of many different degrees of attractive ppl, the desire to get attached gets stronger plainly for the carnal reason, simple.........i agree with wilson pang, we're all at an age dat we jus want to be liked, to fit in with ur guys frens and girl frens........enough said about dat, im sure the understanding of this topic is so common and shared..........."woah, daniel ur blog jus went up several notches in the honest category".....hurhur i dun really care la.......a blog has to serve some purpose anyway.......

i suddenly realised today dat hui ling and a few others of my skool frens have access to the url of my blog lol but as i mentioned way up on top, i dun mind cos my conscience is clear........may feel wierd for them to read a post about them or wad but yeah....i prefer the brutal honesty rather than the fake facade........was jus wondering wad else i missed out haha then i realised i promised an after of the event haha.....

well well the after event
did i mention my parents and i took cab both to and from my house to temasek poly, abit waste money cos tp is quite near to my house but on the way there was necessary cos i was holding my gown and all......on the way back we took cab cos my mom was very tired from all the walking hah.........but i guess not much difference from taking bus oso jus dat its more convenient, we onli pay about a dollar plus more than wad we would pay for the bus fare (for 3 adult cards combined)........

after the event finished, it was about 7pm like dat (it started at about 5pm or earlier).....we had (ALOT of) refreshments i jus realised, and near one of the ends there was ALOT of food there, nobody was there to touch much of the food there i dunno y oso haha.........there was noodles and siew mai, har gao, finger food, mini cream puffs, and egg tarts etc and of course drinks.......i ate abit so i was about half full after dat......after taking photos, one with mom, one with dad and one with them both, and settling all the admin stuff, we walked about one bus stop from the tp convention centre to the central bus-stop to get sumtin more to fill our stomach haha......mum super tired cos of the walking up and down the tp stairs which was quite a challenge to me when i first came to tp in year one but now im used to it cos like everyday walk up dat stairs to go to walk even more to class haha, legs strong ready haah.......

end up mom, dad and i helped to finish one plate of pineapple fried rice.......cos we werent really hungry haha........i bought a chicken cheese sausage and the 3 for a dollar tapioca cakes from the nearby passar mallam,(and one cup of bubble tea dat my frens and i used to buy when we were still in skool, when we went opp skool for meals and stuff)........the normal kind dat u find at pasar malams, very tasty meal haha.......but i had to tapao the tapioca cakes cos i didnt noe mom and dad couldnt finish the pineapple fried rice they ordered, they said it was a very big portion.........i didnt have much appetite cos i dunno y oso mayb i was thinking of stuff la.........

after getting home by cab, i played guitar for awhile in my formal attire, normally i think dat feeling is quite nice.....even tho im at home i feel the style man, formal attire and playing guitar.....if its outside even more style la but of course in church its not important la........it was quite hot in my room (mayb cos my door was closed, im in long sleeve and long pants) even with my fan blowing at me........after awhile i felt quite sian and stuff cos i was thinking about other stuff as well......i guess come ppl can guess wad i was thinking about by now jus by reading all the way to here haha.......i went to bathe and after dat i felt like posting, this is wad turned out haha.....im going to get myself a good nite's rest and oh yeah! i will remember to pray for good weather to test out the youth retreat games tml and oso for the youth retreat committee as well, before i sleep......i will and i will not sleep before i say amen, it may be tough but prayer to me is sorta like a positive obligation dat must be done if u say u will do it.......in fact everything u say oso should be carried out and u havta follow it, im still trying to keep my word when i say it (or else i dun say anything haha)........with God's strength, i will be able to keep whatever i say and say mean wad i say (at times la, not counted onli for jokes haha but yeah jokes shouldnt go too far....dats y i dun really joke with ppl i dunno, cos i dunno if they can take it or how much they can take.... .. .. ...)......time to sleep now.....goodnite.com (i decided to choose a comfortable green for reading since its such a long post heh)

oh ya ya replies to tags:

jon lee: seriously man a footlong in 5 mins? and u say u enjoy ur food in dat time? ur one kind of a bucket where ppl jus dump food into u noe.....lol if u were competing i guess it would be much worst rite? i dun understand how u can 'enjoy' good food in jus 5 mins......good food must slowly eat then u have the luxury of enjoying every bite every morsel of ur food.....no matter if im eating shark's fin or wad, whenever i eat i always take my time to enjoy my food (except when im rushing for time) haha...

crystal: haha good question........i was thinking of not going, but its still mid week so i cant really think of anything i would be doing for now to replace the time normally spent in yf (except helping out in awana which popped into my head at this point in time)...i dunno la.....if i dun have plans im most probably going to yf.....at the rate things are going i'll probably be there...haha

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i thank God for older mentors to talk to...

well yeah as i told my er sao, i dun really stay unhappy for long.............sometimes i can say dat i dun stay happy for long as well.......heh but im ok now i guess............. i talked to zhi wen about abit of the problems dat i had......y i talked to him specifically i dunno oso.........mayb its cos i really respect his fervence (pardon my spelling, i dunno if this is actually a word haha) and Godly wisdom.............i never talked to him about my problems before but i jus feel he is like a bigger brother to me at times.........but i jus noe dat wad i tell him can be kept in confidence..........(somehow i think got more to say but cos im watching the tv next to the comm, my thots are disconnected and they get lost somewhere haha..........) oh yeah im oso very encouraged by the way he lives his life and the way he knows wad he is talking about (when talking about matters pertaining to the faith and all).........i will type more when it comes to me....

and i must say i really felt much i had a good time pouring my heart out of some of my problems to him........and suprisingly he said it helped him too by listening to me about my problems as well....hmm i cant really see how it can be so lol but if he says so then ok lol..........he prayed with me after we both had a good chatbetter..........in fact im feeling the effects of talking to him even now haha.......he is jus very encouraging as well for his passion for the development of the youths in zion, powerful man...........im thinking if he has the time and if he is willing i might ask him to be one of my mentors lol......... yeah in short im ok ready haha............

some things i brought back from talking to zhi wen:

1) SERVE FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH

2) WHEN WE ALL (2 OR 3) GATHER TOGETHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS, HE IS THERE AMONG US, AND WE ARE WHAT JESUS WOULD BE TO EVERY OTHER PERSON......

3) WE ARE ALL ONE BIG FAMILY

4) ITS BETTER TO MINISTER TO A FEW IN DEPTH THAN MINISTER TO ALOT OF PPL BUT ONLI TO A SHALLOW EXTENT

replies to tags:

jon chua: haha i myself cant tell for sure.......but i guess not rediscovering my old self la......i personally think dat is not possible.....only God knows and whatever it is He is in control la.........eh ur stomach small la......heh

maggie mee: haha thanks for tagging........mayb ur rite mayb not heh.....i dunno oso la, i dun wanna appear aloof and anti-social lol......thanks tho ;)

jon lee: hello? carl's jr oso havta open ur mouth wide to eat wann wad.........i never get a jaw ache from eating good food man......i seriously think u dunno how to enjoy good food haha.......ur not supposed to compete to see how fast u can eat a footlong lol, the joy of eating and enjoying the food is gone man! haha.....i think i could eat a footlong in 5 mins too but i dun wanna do dat hahah....subway is jus as tasty too, and more affordable heh......but still ex.....

crystal: haha actually jus the confirmation dat ur someone i know would be enough, of course i know who u are, pastor eddy's daughter or mark and gloria's sister would be more than enough heh......i'll jus call u by ur name la haha...thanks for the link, i will link u soon........

er sao: haha thank you so much, feels comforting to know ppl are praying for u........heh actually i dun really noe how to describe this feeling oso......haha u noe i appreciate it can ready.......

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children are God's gift

yeah i recently helped out in awana.......on 19th may haha so its still quite recent considering the date today heh.......it was the saturday dat jus passed.........the reason y i helped out is cos i was scheduled to be on duty by justine and shannon and herself were supposed to come to help out as well but i dunno how come no show.......justine no show is understandable cos she was bringing a fren to yf.........but my best fren andrew tan came to help, quite suprising lol, normally he would be running off to spend time with his girl fren, priscilla heh..........but i guess he had to come oso la, cos aunty audrey made him promise dat he would come if not he would owe both me and aunty audrey either $50 or $100 each lol! alot of money lol, enough to cover the new floorball blade i bought, which was $40 lol ;p

anyway awana needed extra helpers on dat day cos it was an organised outing to ang mo kio macs.............ok la.........i had to skip most of the psp (prayer, sharing and praise) session at yf to help out but i dun really regret it cos come of the children at awana were really cute! ooooh, i sound like a paedophile haha but im not one haha........i had alot of fun jus spending time with the little kids...........i think a few of the little kids were very cute, all girls heh.......boys i didnt really go and see............from the cubbies, claris and chloe (cousins), even though they can be quite mischevieous and scream quite abit at times hahaa.......then the sparks, xiao jing and xuan jing (sisters) i think haha............super guai both of them, never cause trouble wann.........but then again mayb i dun really noe them la, based on first impression onli.........

ok la all i had to do was to look after them while they were playing haha........heh i even played the swing myself besides pushing them haha.......but of course i turn the seat higher so my legs almost wont be able to touch the ground haha, i swing very high haha.......like a small kids like dat..............speaking of which i think being a small kid is a very good thing lol, ur so innocent and ur mind is so impressionable and u hardly doubt the good intentions of everybody, to me the ppl with the least of problems is the little children............hmm is this wad God meant by (paraphrased, but the meaning is there) men getting into heaven like little children or sumtin like dat..............if only i could be a little child again, then i wont be so caught up in thinking so much all dat haha..........

nothing much happened haha, im sure everyone sweat quite abit looking after the children haha......i think claris's 2 bottom teeth dropped out haha.......she even showed me the first one and put them on my hand haha......i asked her to keep it and put under her pillow heh.......

andrew and i couldnt or jus werent allowed to NOT eat anything when we went there to help haha.......i was quiet paiseh to spend whoever's money jus to eat something dat i didnt really need to order.......of cos if i really wanted to spend whoever's (i say whoever cause im not sure whose money it is, either aunty lisa's or part of the budget for awana) money, i would have ordered one darn good brownie (i dunno y, im trying all types of brownies from all kinda places, addicted to brownies i guess) and maybe a huge cup of cappucino or latte whatever, then mayb if i want another burger jus to feel satisfied.....but of course i didnt la........i only ordered a double cheese burger lol........by the way i think the double cheese burger price is quite worth it at macs lol, only $2! if im eating at macs and im not eating a evm, i would order 2 double cheese burgers and mayb i buy a drink from ntuc, not a bad meal leh heh..............andrew ordered a sundae haha.......

andrew didnt take the bus back to church, aunty lisa drove him back home (i suppose)..........i took the bus back to church and claris was making noise for me to sit at the seat in front of her the moment i got onto the bus, i finally agreed, but i think cos her brother wanted to ask me how to massage ppl then he bullied her to sit at his original seat then end up she went to the back of the bus to sit with aunty audrey heh...........then after aunty grace got down the bus at j8, i went to sit at her place which was partly facing xiao jing and xuan jing in the front of the bus........so cute and guai as usual, jus eating the leftover fries they packed from wad the awana ppl ordered for all the kids......i asked xiao jing some questions about how old they were and i found out xuan jing and another flames student and her were sisters, they dun look like the oldest sister lol haha.......and i cant believe the oldest sister is only p4 lol she looks like she is already p6 lol..........very cute, xuan jing is like one year older than xiao jing and she was like covering her sister's mouth so xiao jing would not answer my questions haha, but end up xiao jing answered without talking at all haha.............and on the bus they both asked me "why is 6 scared of 7?".......i thot for quite awhile, and i jus couldnt think of it.....the answer is "cause 7 ate 9" hahaha..........lol i was jus smiling to myself after dat lol.........how long has it been since i've heard primary skool humour lol........i cant believe myself dat i couldnt think about it haha.......

children are God's gift, i truly believe it.........i think whether cute or not, its their innocence and the way they think dat truly amazes me about them......im jus amazed by God's little creations......i will post pictures of the cute little girls at awana when i do get a chance to take pictures with them haha......

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a strange kinda feeling

blogger is back haha so is my posting page lol.......i went out and met my wife, titus for lunch today.......had quite alot of fun haha even though we jus met at carl's jr for lunch LOL.......i must say dat the carl's jr burger i ate was really quite good man.......the bacon slices were jus heavenly lol if i got money (or like wise if im short of money, i would go there to work part-time lol jus for the food, well i could work at subway as well, all for the food not so much for the pay hahaa) i would love to eat carl's jr more often lol until i have tried ALL the carl's jr burgers! ... but its jus a pity dat carl's jr burgers (and the meals) are so PRICEY!!! sian man.........if the meals and stuff at carl's jr are much cheaper, i think their business will be much much betta la (not saying their business isnt already good hahaa)...........and actually not to mention alot of ppl will be much fatter hurhur......

anyway i have a great time talking to titus today haha.......pity he had french class la if not we could have partied the whole nite away hahaha...........cant really imagine how we spent like close to 2 hrs together without really realising it......hurhur im sure anyone who has spent time before with close frens would know wad im talking about i guess...........ok i feel im blabbering on.......tsk....

ok actually cos i was watching tv and distracted with so many other thots dat i dunno wad to post about now actually.......amidst the chaos of thots i guess i would post about this strange kinda feeling i have...........i dun really noe how to describe it now but i onli noe im not exactly happy and im not exactly sad or anything..........how i wish i had a concrete feeling instead of not really feeling much of anything.........i dun mind being happy or sad cause there are ways to either stay in dat feeling or get betta in the case of being sad..............mayb its the floating feeling like im not really here or there like titus happened to mention.....come to think of it he is rite to some extent.....its like i finish skool ready but im not in ns yet.....true i got lotsa free time to do alot of thing dat i want to do but the fact of the matter is im still floating, waiting for ns to come..........my parents dunno it but i kinda regret not starting to work about 2 months ago.........if i started working then mayb i would have more money to spend and not to mention more money to 'give to God's work' (much as i hate to admit it sometimes, my dad is partly rite on this if this was his intent of telling me dat.......) to me its for offering, i dunno wad else he meant...........

i feel this loneliness mayb? if dats a way of describing it...........i dunno la.......words fail me at this point in time........i can onli say wad im sure of..........hmm i feel as if the ppl i can talk to are getting smaller and smaller by the circumstances and many other stuff i cant really stop or explain..........(woah it feels like its not the first time saying this, kinda like deja vu....) i have come to accept it as a fact dat frens, even ur bestest frens have to be shared, especially in a setting like church or yf etc, in fact most settings frens have to be shared (i think) in terms of time spent with them, care from them, opportunities to talk etc........im jus shooting off my head some examples......(im physically and mentally tired now, mayb i cant really think dat straight now....haiz)......i dun blame anyone for dat happening cos its natural, we all onli have this much time to spend on who we choose hahah.......im jus contemplating wad i should i do now...........like sometimes in settings esp social settings i feel abit prone to mayb either not really try talking to ppl i jus noe (by face and name only, nothing much else dat kind), talk to ppl i CAN talk to (of cos frens havta be shared.....), or jus shy myself away and do more thinking or whatever i like to do when im alone, is dat counted as anti-social? haha......i dunno anymore.........

in fact i feel as if i dunno myself anymore, seen my msn nick personal msg? HAHA dats quite how i feel now...........i dunno how daniel lee would react to things already, its like daniel lee feels very different......(heh this is the first time im actually mentioning my own name on my blog haha feels kinda wierd).......daniel lee doesnt know daniel lee anymore? interesting.....is the daniel lee danlee used to know a friendly person? if so y is daniel lee feeling like shying away from crowds and ppl he does not know so well? in some sense not going out of my home seems a safe enough facade for me, jus carrying on my 'usual routine' waking late, watching tv, watching shows on the comm, occasionally playing the guitar and packing my room................arre the other things dat i do jus a social, moral (etc) obligations?????? lol

i wish i had answers, alot of answers from my Heavenly Father......rite now alot of things are jus maybeS and speculations stuff....haiz.............

"..................not forsaking the assembling of yourselves as some is.........." (mumbles) taken from somewhere in the new testament of the bible.........its jus abit of wad im thinking about.....go figure heh...........enough rambling "......" time to say good nite......

reply to tag:

Crystal: erhm hi.....are u pastor eddy's daughter? dats the only crystal i remember (there's another crystal by the same spelling dat replied me about audio blogging but i dun think dats u hahaha).........u have a blog too? how did u find my blog? haha.......take care till next time u pop by ;)

197/1

nothing much to post about, but im jus happy

haha i dunno y la but today for the first time, i feel very much betta than when i normally go to floorball trainings......mayb its cos most of the time i have very little or no sleep (like today, dats the strangest thing) AND normally i oso bring alot of troubles on my mind when coming to the court..........

today even though i didnt have much sleep and all (i feel i didnt sleep at all la, super tired now)........i felt happy coming to play floorball this morning.........we all had great game(S) haha we played 2 on 2 on 2 haha, one goal sub out........winner in loser out haha, we ended up playing about close to 50 games hahaha......shiok la..........and i think i played well partnering with kin yip today, both of us scored quite a few haha, close to the leaders terence and marcus......heh i think terence and marcus, terence scored all or most of the goals at least.........

one more thing on feeling happy and mayb staying happy at least..........its like everything else seemed to fit in really well and everything, quite nice.....i felt very good the whole day today......i guess the choice to stay happy instead of focusing on being down can be quite uplifting HAHAHA! anyway yeah i had a great time today, and i sub consciously realised i smiled more to ppl in general today and after the bgr talk and all i was abit crazy with alethia hahaha, i think its been a long time since i done dat to anyone in particular hahaha, enjoyed dat quite abit haha......

after dat was the worship session for the acm was going to start at 630pm.....haha after staying for dat, they wanted to start the acm at 730pm i think but then the quorum not met yet so they said they wanted to wait 30 mins.....then i so smart i didnt want to wait around for (what i thot was) nothing, so i went out with andrew tan and went for dinner behind church....aoh the beef ee mee was so good la, its a pity i had to rush my meal to (try) get back in time for the acm haha....but they took aliittle longer than i expected to cook the food haha so end up i was late going back for acm, i ate very fast tho (i think)...........anyway by the time i got back they all already submitted their votes ready haha.......zhi wen submitted my empty voting slip cos he thot i had already completed it haha....oh wells jus a difference of one vote........andrew managed to submit his vote cos he didnt ask anyone to keep his slip for him haha so he jus left it on the seat and walked out, then when he come back, jus nice to complete and submit the vote to deacon jeffery....lol......ok im tired, dats all for now i guess........time to bathe and go to sleep.......

reply to tags:

jon chua: haha lol i think dats onli applicable for female dip studs who dun go to uni lol....for ns liable guys i guess we'll be obselete for 2 years ......etc...yeah man i didnt noe rock and roll was so jialat.......

sandra: hey u have a new blog? u want me to relink u? haha let me noe k?

jonlee: haha ur watching the same season as tv? i think cannot be its not out on dvd yet in singapore.....onli the previous season is out haha....oh yeah if ur cousin happens to have lost 1, 2, 3 and the show '24' or 'house' hahaha i am quite interested to watch hahaha............or even prison break season 3, dying for dat hahaha......if have then can lend me? haha....lol less common fields then its not worth mentioning lol, i dunno if i can even get into dat kinda fields......i dun even noe wad i wanna do.......hmm but i guess not all la, those who lose themselves to good music is good wad i think..........

goldie: heyy how have u been freshie? hahah.......i freezed u today hahaha........i will reply more next time....or when i next visit ur blog....

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