actual yf caroling day was 231208
(post started on 231208 @ 0344hrs
and finished on 241208 @ 0533hrs)
hi haha.....so sorry people who normally check in and find dat i haven updated in so long.....wad can i do haha except apologise......erhm i didnt want to leave this stagnant on purpose but i've jus had so many things to do dat blogging has become very low on the priority list.....
recently i haven had much time during the weekends, my weekends are always so precious and not to mention packed......i always want to do as many things as i can with the little time i have in the weekends.....my mom always say i everything oso want, which i admit is kinda true alot of the times....the result is im always rushing for time jus to squeeze in another activity or event during the weekend so as expected the time for blogging almost doesnt come by easily even if i set my heart on blogging, i will somehow get caught up with doing something more fun i guess like trying to complete a certain game or sometimes jus surfing online alone will take up all the spare time i have so i dun have the luxury to slowly sit down, gather my thoughts and churn out one the long posts dat is so normal for my blog nowadays.....guess i do havta specially set aside a day meant for blogging, but if dat were to happen (dats a really big if), i can guarantee i can probably rant a post so long it may be the length of 3 or more of my normal posts haha......probably...well enough nonsense, i jus meant this as a short update, promising of more to come la.....it will come when it comes, im thinking of writing a short book on my blog which would hopefully make it more interesting lol....complete with the prologue, the main body with a few chapters and also an epilogue, but it has no happy ending heh, so its not a storybook rite? genius haha....
well i jus wanted to say something about caroling today.....i wore my new mandarin collar white shirt there......hmm let me see this was one of the 2 shirts i bought which cost 102+ altogether, the other one is the red one i wore for the musical, cna go see on facebook.....
i felt i had enough (ok mayb good is a betta way to describe it) sleep cos the previous nite i slept at like 3 plus then i woke up on caroling day at about 1330 like dat....the sleep felt good but still i noe sleeping at such wee hours is damaging to my body, today even worse, its like 0435am and im like still awake blogging, haven gotten down to bathing yet haiz....i will probably sleep at 0530 when this is done and probably wake up at like 1630 later hahah....ah my weird sleeping patterns, so unhealthy....wad to do....i'll sure want to catch up with normal sleeping patterns when i can......im dying now la seriously, well not literally but yeah.......i've got the 'christmas season, coughing, sneezing blues'....( a line from on of the songs in the "Its A Christmas Thing" musical by the way if u didnt get to catch it)......my eyes are tired and i have been rubbing both of them, my nose is red from all the sneezing (probably sinus la) but its getting betta thankfully.....ah i need sleep but i can onli get normal sleeping patterns after christmas or so i guess.....haha digression, now u see y i could probably type a 3 normal posts long post haha.....
well back to the yf caroling....it started very early today so my breakfastlunch was wad got me thru the day before tiny snack size bit of food came along......i ate some biscuits and a cheese and apricot jam sandwich after waking up so thank God it lasted me until like 7 or 8 plus......andrew didnt eat at all after waking up so he was very hungry by the time we stopped at gardens......but he couldnt go out and buy something to eat.....too bad la who ask him not to eat anything after waking up lol.....anyway i could tell dat alot of ppl were wearing very nice dresses and shirts for caroling this year.....hah random comment....anyway bj spoke to us on the reason on y we carol before we started, he said sumtin about isaiah 53, i'll go and read it when i have the time....oh ya we carol to proclaim Christ's name and tell others wad He done for us at the cross.....
we went to this lee ah moy old folks home first, the design of the home was like a gloomy and lonely and sad place (to me dat it), mayboo pointed out the called their resident in-mates, dats like for prisoners......even us national servicemen are not called dat la even though its kinda similar to prison lol......we had quite a big group of us walking around the long, narrow corridors of the home and like 2 guitarists, one was jerry all the way in front and the other was joe tee i think, somewhere in the middle or so.......it was quite a mess i must say haha.....cos by the time the info got passed down to the last few ppl dat they were singing a particular song, the front few had already started singing, then becos the middle guitarist cant possibly hear the front guitarist at all, he jus starts the same song as well at probably a line or 2 later......it was jus confusion heh, the front half dat could hear jerry would sing along with jerry then the back half dat could hear joe tee followed joe tee, the middle parts were jus confused who to follow so jus anyhow sing lol......hurhur i noe cos i was roughly in the middle heh.....we did dat for quite awhile lol, then finally we went to 2 rooms and the front part was in one room, the back part was in the other, then timmy decided dat we should jus stay there instead of move along with the front group so we jus sang our own carols, different from the front group.....
we stayed there for awhile, like 5 or 6 carols then when it was time for us to go off then we walked out, caroling as we walked well abit onli la, most dunno which part of "we wish u a merry/blessed christmas" to sing lol so jus anyhow bomb oso lol......in dat room, there was this one gentleman dat said "thank you very much for coming" when i wished him merry christmas and he said it in sucha way dat really impacted me in some way i cant really tell, he was very sincere and he realy meant it.....my heart went out to the man lying in his bed in dat room, in a sense of pity and yet care.....there was another man who seemingly was more chatty and aware of his surroundings and he didnt seem like he was the resident (or in-mate) of the home, not to mention he was the only one who was walking around when we caroled.....when we sang "God sent His Son" he was like shaking my hadn profusely la haha....first he shook my rite then with 2 hands, after dat i jus felt my other hand hand should go up too in courtesy which i later found out was a bad move haha, dunno y i did it oso.....end up he was shaking both my hands profusely and swinging them around left rite and up down lol oh wells......gayle and i oso talked to this resident who was lying on his bed and could sing some of the carols in his own slurred speech kinda way, i didnt bid goodbye to him tho hmm.....then we proceeded to another much smaller home which i cant remember the name......
(well danlee goes to sleep after bathing here, at about 23/12/2008 6plus am...then recontinues on 24/12/2008 0228am.....the crazy waking hours...zzzZZzzz....well and raking my memory for stuff i wanted to blog about)
well caroling at the smaller home was much more organised than the first....at least we all were singing the same carols at the same lines at the same tempos haha.....well when we were singing, we were supposed to interact abit with the residents (not in-mates this time haha) but i saw like those in the room were like jus singing there and not shaking the residents hands or wishing them blessed christmas etc.....like they were shy or something lol....so i had to initiate sumtin, being an older one.....i went to shake the hand of a resident who was awake when we were caroling.....at least some ppl starting shaking the residents hands then.....oh wells......then in between caroling, sarah ang dao hui (haha) became known as the (lousy) pail for tracy kee the mop hahaha.....its like super funny and sarah is like kinda retarded in onli the slow kinda way haha, kenna jack big time oso jus "huh i dun wanna be a broom, i rather be a pail...." one kind of self jack lol.....after it all we gathered near the home entrance where we has our first bite of something......they provided water in packaged cups and alot of quaker muesli bars of a few flavours supposedly one for each of the carolers or sumtin.....then there was this brown rice snack thingy which was totally tasteless, they were passing it around on our bus like way after we left dat place lol......everybody who tried it said it was taseless, like jus eating starch or sth like dat....
after dat we were an hour too early for our next stop, salvation army grace haven, which was a children's home so we dropped by gardens church ....we had to register our names and nric for the salvation army place lol which was abit dumb cos even if we didnt register,. there wasnt anyone to check the number of ppl who actually went into the home with us wad......well andrew was uber hungry then but too bad it was quite unheard of to go out and buy food anyway....
well so we proceeded to grace haven.....initially i thot it was an all girl's home, or so i was told by the best (kenji).....a lil suprised to see younger guys there at first.....then i felt i had to go over there and interact with the guys there....abit wierd at first cos i jus introduced myself to them and wished them blessed christmas....some of them jus shook my hand and held it there for quite awhile....which is wierd cos i really dunno wad to do, do i pulll my hand away violently, which would be rude by the way or wierdly let them hold onto my hand until they do let go? one little kid tried to bite my hand or salivate my hand when i wished him blessed christmas lol....i felt so disgusted after dat.....but oh well i didnt show it (i hope)...well i'll agree with joe tee on this, they really do have many diverse backgrounds and the spectrum of the types of youths there is really larger and far by the wayside (is dat the phrase? i dunno, cant be bothered to think so much, its like 0415am now la).....i cant help but notice a few of the kids are from ah beng backgrounds, meaning like speaking vulgarities here and there, some abit more violent than others....stuff like dat, i guess i can really relate to this kinda thing cos i was from a neighbourhood skool and i had a few frens who were like dat or way worst....so i've seen alot and the thing about these kids is i emphatise with them cos they all display this kinda behaviour becos of underlying reasons as diverse as their backgrounds they come from.....but really i dunno how to interact with them, without coming off as seeming too righteous or sumtin like dat.....i dun think i see this as a ministry for me to go into yet but i felt abit helpless on how to deal with them then.....
well over at grace haven, there was a decent pa set up, all brought from bishan and stuff, including the mics, mixer and high hat or sumtin jeremy played and perhaps sumtin like a portable drum and some waist level bongo drums or sth like dat.....they (daryl on his charis, david heng on guitar, jeremy khoo on the high hat thing and the drum 'box', david bob on guitar, and linus on the bongo thingy) performed an item called "Lord of the dance" which is probably a contemporary piece.....given dat they rehearsed at least 8 times for one performance alone, it was awesome, as usual daryl never fails to impress......but i felt dat tho it was good i dun think it was something the children could fully appreciate for the message daryl meant to bring across thru it as much as it being jus another "ordinary" good music performance......it was hard for them to fully grasp the meaning of the song la, mayb cos of age and mayb abit to do with background......some of the boys i was sitting with kept looking at the back of the place where we were seated, on following the directions of their stares and incessant pointing here and there, i saw they were looking at rachel ng, alethia tiang and gayle ng standing at the back, whoooo kenna distracted by pretty girls everything.....lol o_O i dinno wad to do so too bad i jus let them be lol......grayham and ibob and theodore performed "manger throne" for them too, the goh brothers were ok....ibob was doing the acoustics on guitar accompanying gray and theo played the violin.....my personal take on ibob's performance is dat he really sounded like an emo kid when he tried to sing in harmony for the chorus or sumtin, like a yellowcard version of the chorus which to me sounded abit bad heh.....i must applaud his courage for performing and singing but somehow i think his voice doesnt suit the vocal harmonising they were trying to do, sorry ibob heh.....good try tho...when we were making our way off from the place i met the guys i introduced myself to again and one of them jus grabbed my arm and asked me to bring him along with me, abit weird request i must say, i jus politely declined saying i cant bring him home....LOL.....
my next and last stop for yf caroling was theodore and grayham's house cos i was scared i wont have bus to go back if i stayed too late at megan's house which was the last stop......well nothing much to say at the goh's house...jus normal routine caroling....gray, theo and ibob did their item again, in a much quieter setting so ibob sounded even worst than he did at grace haven, he sounded jus constipated and emo.....i am not gossiping here its really how i feel.....but i dun wanna hurt ibob's feelings or like cause any misunderstandings or misgivings so i'd prefer he doesnt noe i wrote this heh.......after leaving from the goh's residence, sher, ivan lee, ruth and priscilla jamir, john and i walked out together to supposedly go eat....andrew insisted on going caroling at megan's house so we jus let him be la..... by the time we decided to go to chomps to eat/da pao, john decided he didnt want to take the risk of not having a bus after eating at chomps so he went off with sher after she da paoed her food.....i stayed behind with the rest since i said i would eat with them instead of da pao, taking the risk of not being able to catch the last bus.....i ate prawn mee which was really quite good i must say, altho slightly more pricely than the normal prawn mee, it had newspaper cuttings and all ma, the stall is called the penang prawn mee stall or sth like dat....ivan and i shared a towering lychee drink dat cost $3 which was quite ok i think for the amount we had.....ivan told us about the way he and his 2 other eating buddies normally eat at chomps, depending on how hungry they are....well they would pool like $20 each and jus order food then most of the time they finish them up la! wow madness.....after eating we saw a 73 bus coming so ruth and i ran for it, haha priscilla had to take out her heels to run barefoot heh....turns out it was the wrong 73 haiz....well then we finally took the rite 73 and then i found out dat i had already missed the last 59 bus so i took a random bus to toa payoh int and inquired which buses were still in operation (the wayward brother had already called earlier, dat genius didnt even noe the fastest way to get home lol, so i told him take bus from megan's to bishan and take a straight bus home, luckily for him (and myself) the last bus for a straight bus from bishan had not gone yet so i told him to wait for it lol)......then i took 28 from toa payoh, assuming i would be walking home or sumtin, it was quite a distance lol.....then end up i took the bus my brother was on, at one of the bus stops both buses stopped at.....thank God dat bus was still operation if not i would have to walk home.....well no more supper next time if its getting late, unless i have my own means of transportation other than cab lol....a bike of my own would be nice (if my mom doesnt kill me first), quite cool man, leather jacket, killer helmet and a fast bike for me to zoom around, dangerous la but the thot alone is thrilling enough.....i probably wont be able to learn bike ever la cos my mom is against it, even tho my dad allows it ;) he knows how to ride a bike cos he was from malaysia haha.....
well dats it i guess, i slept at like 0600+am and woke up uber late dat day, jus nice to surf online abit and see all the spamments made by valerie lew, rachel tan and whoever not on photos, woah like on msn they jus spamm lol haha, good thing i dun receive any emails from facebook from all this, was smart enough to unsubscribe from it, if not my hotmail would be like flooded la.....can u imagine like jus after one nite, then got like 50+ notifications, madness.....ok its like 0514am now la.....i shall blog about my ag caroling some other time la....
P.S. by the way i would like to know who are the owner(s) of these 2 blogs since i cant read ur blogs, i would at least like to noe who ye are haha:
http://elixirofheaven.blogspot.com/
http://bleeedinglove.blogspot.com/
sher: so it was u i was talking about ah, thank u for admitting
sandra: okk thanks for the new link, i WILL update the link soon.....when i have the time haha....
er sao: ok ok i finally updated, happy? haha
valerie lew: lol stalker haha....how did u find my blog? dats the problem with public blogs, too many ppl "discover" it lol, i really should switch to wordpress soon but i cant bear to part with all my previous posts archive and yet too lazy to post them all one by one there, so i guess im sticking to this haiz......yeah la im the one and only danlee, the best ever and forever will be lol.....
et: lol who is this? im guessing from inferrence dat ur eunice tay? correct me if im wrong heh.....but i dunno anyone by dat name lol.......how u noe i'm a mad man? lol
grace lee: ok haha updated, didnt noe u read my blog too lol......thanks, blessed christmas to u too!
Monday, December 22
Saturday, July 19
Monday, June 2
kids these days
wad is happening to kids these days? wad have they become man......
i'm now in camp, using the comm in the camp mess......anyway time to blog about the past week of off + leave which i spent helping out at children's camp full time as a sheperd.......
going onto the state of children these days......i guess the most memorable thing i can talk about is the 5 or so little girls (about p1 - p2) dat for some reason or another come and grab me and pull my hands, pull my shirt and all trying to drag me around to play catching with them.....dat meaning i run or wad then they chase me, cos they think they can run very fast lol, of course they are left expending energies from their little bodies like way behind heh, even the boys run faster than them.......yes i noe, they are girls summore la, i think i must be the most popular guy with the little girls haha, mayb its cos i handsome la (urp haha joking)......mmmm i guess the good thing dat came out of dat is dat jamie ding and jasmine chua, their sheperds dun have to take care of them cos they are so busy running around the church or wad chasing me.........tires them out too so they cant really cause trouble and talk nonsense lol..........well talking about crazy children, those girls are not only hyper (not as hyper as me but yeah) but besides grabbing my hands, shirt, they would oso hit me with their hands and kick and all.......lol i mean they are girls lol......one kind of fierce lol......and one kind of tomboyish behavior.........anyway but mayb can forgive them la they are still so young......wa these girls are very very noisy as well lol.........they will come and shout at the top of their little voices, asking me to play catching with them as well as constantly ask me who is my girlfriend, like they will make guesses and ask me everytime i talk to some random girl helper in camp.........abit cock la.......ok i guess i really cannot complain cos the p1, p2 girls some of them are cute and quite harmless, except myself being temporarily hurt at dat particular moment from their 'beatings'........plus i noe 2 of the little girls from aunty mabel's class dat i help out on sundays........the 2 of them are very cute, xiao zhing and melanie......both of them very guai as well, the low profile very nice little children kind heh.....xiao zhing is very cute and adorable......ok i stop myself from saying too much, im not a paedophile like some surname lou i noe hahaha........
well talk about complaining i guess lizzy really got it quite jialat or challenging lol........her kids were the p5-p6 girls and they bring the words "hard to handle" to a whole new level altogether.......i was told her kids had a crush on charles and all and then they totally make up scandals out of nothing, from like when any girl talking to charles like flicks her hair behind her ear or does some other normal actions.......totally ridiculous man........add dat with the normal girl squabbling and a little bit of violence (if there was, im jus guessing) and u probably have a bigger problem on your hands than wad you alone can handle i guess, but thankfully God has brought lizzy, abigail, and hui lin (the 2 sheperds and hui lin is the helper attached to help out dat group cause of lizzy) and their group thru the children's camp safely i guess........its nice to see them collaborating together with the p5-p6 boys [who were such gents according to liz and also whom the girls apparently have some grudges against from the year before (its dat bad)] to put up quite a good skit i must say.........not bad considering hearing firsthand from lizzy all about the tension at the girls side.......ok i guess the p5-p6 girls, some of them have some family problems and stuff like dat dats y they are like dat and mayb a thousand other reasons dat led to their attitude problems........i dun really noe them and i dun really noe for sure so this is all im going to say, wad i heard from lizzy.....
enough said about the girls, the boys arent much betta either la, except apparently for the p5-p6 boys who won the best group award or sumtin like dat.......i keep hearing about how gentlemanly and accommodating the boys were with the p5-p6 girls despite them bitching and scolding them etc.......well lets talk about my group first......p1-p2 boys....i was a co-sheperd together with david chua (the ultra tall man) as well aunty bee wan (thank God we had her at times oso if not we would be too stretched to take care of all the problematic children causing trouble, injuring ppl, talking nonsense, or jus running around being a nuisance {gabriel goh heh} etc)......btw i had one k2 kid whose name is reuben lim, he is really very cute heh, liz took a photo of him for me using her phone.....will upload it next time mayb? see how la, mayb not here but on facebook or wad heh......the way he says "kor kor daniel" really makes me feel like his older brother there to protect him, really thank God he did not get kicked on punched or anything man by any of the other kids dat i took lol if not it would be a very traumatic experience for him (because he is really small sized la) and for us sheperds as well lol.......anyway yes i did mention my boys kicking each other or sumtin like dat.......well my kids being little children like to play around Alot........the first day or so we jus couldnt get them to REST in the bunk lol, they would be playing and running around like nobody's business, then end up stepping on the other children lying down, either dat or they end up getting more violent than when the imaginary play fighting first started, like one kid i had, daniel murti wa he is damn violent wann lol.......he would kick the other kids if they like offended him even over the smallest of things like some kid accidently step on his blanket or sumtin........like one boy, reuben quek, aunty bee wan's son was kicked in the stomach by daniel murti lol......so jialat reuben came to me crying and telling me about the story at the same time, so sad......well thank God we expended the energies of the children quite abit by the 2nd day so when it was time for the children to have siesta or wad, most of them were resting peacefully in the bunk.......with the exception of a few who still wanted to play and all, but of course we made sure they didnt injure their frens anymore......the rest of the nites the children slept so well lol, cause we really expended all the energies in their little bodies through all the games, workshops and wad not conducted for them (GOOD JOB CAMP COMM AS WELL AS ALL THE HELPERS DAT MADE THIS CAMP HAPPEN BY THE WAY, im sure im not the onli one who appreciate their help at this camp)........the boys jus dun seem to listen to our instructions or rather follow them.......they hear us but they still run up and down the stairs at the fastest speeds they can manage heh..........i remember a few times i let them run all the way down by themselves for a few workshops when they were supposed to stay on the 3rd floor to look for sumtin or someone heh.......quite funny, let them be la let them expend their energies running up and down for nothing heh......there was this once linus asked them to find 'bob the builder' aka ibob heh.......i think they didnt listen to the briefing on who was 'bob the builder' so when linus asked them to find 'bob the builder', i jus shouted "GO FIND BOB THE BUILDER !!", and i made huge gestures with my hands heh, its funny even typing it.......then we were in sanctuary 2 and ibob was there as well but immediately after i said it, the kids rushed out the doors and went all the way down heheh.......sooooo funnny.......anyway i had to go down to find them and get them back to sanctuary again haha......quite amusing heh........this happened a few times ready......some kids jus dun follow instructions to follow their sheperds so i jus let them run around until they are tired then i go look for them and bring them back, kinda like sheep isnt it? (haha i jus thought of dat as i was typing)....other than the violence and all dat hyper activeness, i guess my kids were generally ok la, at least the vast majority of them dun talk nonsense......only one or 2 spouting nonsense and scolding their frens, mainly daniel murti, yu tong and mayb a few others more..........as usual i had to take care of the all too famous gabriel goh la, he was running around and making unusual comments loudly as usual all the time........luckily i could meet his energy level to run around catching him and grabbing him to sit down all dat.......oh ya another significant thing dat i remember from this camp was punishing gabriel goh and daniel murti because they simply did not listen to instructions to sit down and they kept running around when during their lessons..........well i took gabriel to the room with doors on both side then one at both sides of sanctuary 2 and i made him to jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, running on the spot, and i oso asked him to run up and down a flight of stairs and stuff like dat lol jus to expend his energy lol......i asked daniel murti to run up and down a longer flight of stairs cause i was quite pissed with him for not listening to instructions not to run around......after dat he sit down really quietly and listened to wad we had to say to the children........i tell u if the camp was any longer, i think more of the children dat didnt listen to our instructions to stop running around would have had a taste of the physical training lol.......i must say i kinda had a little bit of satisfaction from punishing them, sounds saddist yeah........i think its the influence of the army, and being a sgt, kinda getting used to getting ppl to do things......but its not mainly dat, its the expending of the energy of dat hyper active kid so dat dat kid wont be able to run around so much and cause trouble, like playing with the mic, climbing on the high stacks of chairs, doing nonsense.......i think its mainly dat la........
well more about the boys......this time the p3-p4 batch......i think lin ping and marvin had quite a hard time controlling them.......its like they are in the middle or being childish and being matured......so they like have both sides......imagine a p3-p4 not so little boy still playing on the playground and being hyper, running around, its quite hard to handle them if ur not on good terms with them or if u dunno them well prior to camp starting......not to mention the different ways needed to deal with every single one of them.....well i took a few of them last year when i was their sheperd so im on quite good terms with them all as a whole but i wasnt their sheperd heh......anyway they can be quite nice when they noe u and when u noe them la......i hid in their bunk when the little girls were chasing me around the church for the fun of it......haha its definitely worth it spending my leave and off at children's camp, watching as the little children grow up and mature mentally as well.....kinda of a fulfillment in some sorta way.........
the p5-p6 boys i didnt hear anything but good comments for them......their sheperds, kenneth ho and peter wang gave the boys quite abit of freedom to do whatever they wanted jus as long as they met the timing specified....it was quite a good way to lead them especially because the boys were quite mature......and might i mention the boys were on time for every activity as i saw it heh......not bad im impressed, considering i had quite a hard time rushing my little kids to meet the timing due to certain things we wanted to get done etc........
well having said so much about all the different types of kids dat we had to face at this "camp afloat".....kinda makes one wonder how do parents actually raise and govern their kids nowadays lol.......must be quite interesting to delve into the methods.....and of course u look at some kids and wonder wad could be the cause of this kid's misbehavior? could it be the way the parents raised them? i can only wonder cause i imagine dat if i myself were a 30 odd year old parent at this current age, with all the work-related stress going on on weekdays and so many other factors and worries they (I) have to take care of, dare i say dat i definitely will not let my child turn out dat way? well i dare not, and i can only speculate how i would want to treat and raise my kid when i do have one, if i do have one.......oh well dats all in the quite far away future i guess........
dats all from the long poster (me)......heh
i'm now in camp, using the comm in the camp mess......anyway time to blog about the past week of off + leave which i spent helping out at children's camp full time as a sheperd.......
going onto the state of children these days......i guess the most memorable thing i can talk about is the 5 or so little girls (about p1 - p2) dat for some reason or another come and grab me and pull my hands, pull my shirt and all trying to drag me around to play catching with them.....dat meaning i run or wad then they chase me, cos they think they can run very fast lol, of course they are left expending energies from their little bodies like way behind heh, even the boys run faster than them.......yes i noe, they are girls summore la, i think i must be the most popular guy with the little girls haha, mayb its cos i handsome la (urp haha joking)......mmmm i guess the good thing dat came out of dat is dat jamie ding and jasmine chua, their sheperds dun have to take care of them cos they are so busy running around the church or wad chasing me.........tires them out too so they cant really cause trouble and talk nonsense lol..........well talking about crazy children, those girls are not only hyper (not as hyper as me but yeah) but besides grabbing my hands, shirt, they would oso hit me with their hands and kick and all.......lol i mean they are girls lol......one kind of fierce lol......and one kind of tomboyish behavior.........anyway but mayb can forgive them la they are still so young......wa these girls are very very noisy as well lol.........they will come and shout at the top of their little voices, asking me to play catching with them as well as constantly ask me who is my girlfriend, like they will make guesses and ask me everytime i talk to some random girl helper in camp.........abit cock la.......ok i guess i really cannot complain cos the p1, p2 girls some of them are cute and quite harmless, except myself being temporarily hurt at dat particular moment from their 'beatings'........plus i noe 2 of the little girls from aunty mabel's class dat i help out on sundays........the 2 of them are very cute, xiao zhing and melanie......both of them very guai as well, the low profile very nice little children kind heh.....xiao zhing is very cute and adorable......ok i stop myself from saying too much, im not a paedophile like some surname lou i noe hahaha........
well talk about complaining i guess lizzy really got it quite jialat or challenging lol........her kids were the p5-p6 girls and they bring the words "hard to handle" to a whole new level altogether.......i was told her kids had a crush on charles and all and then they totally make up scandals out of nothing, from like when any girl talking to charles like flicks her hair behind her ear or does some other normal actions.......totally ridiculous man........add dat with the normal girl squabbling and a little bit of violence (if there was, im jus guessing) and u probably have a bigger problem on your hands than wad you alone can handle i guess, but thankfully God has brought lizzy, abigail, and hui lin (the 2 sheperds and hui lin is the helper attached to help out dat group cause of lizzy) and their group thru the children's camp safely i guess........its nice to see them collaborating together with the p5-p6 boys [who were such gents according to liz and also whom the girls apparently have some grudges against from the year before (its dat bad)] to put up quite a good skit i must say.........not bad considering hearing firsthand from lizzy all about the tension at the girls side.......ok i guess the p5-p6 girls, some of them have some family problems and stuff like dat dats y they are like dat and mayb a thousand other reasons dat led to their attitude problems........i dun really noe them and i dun really noe for sure so this is all im going to say, wad i heard from lizzy.....
enough said about the girls, the boys arent much betta either la, except apparently for the p5-p6 boys who won the best group award or sumtin like dat.......i keep hearing about how gentlemanly and accommodating the boys were with the p5-p6 girls despite them bitching and scolding them etc.......well lets talk about my group first......p1-p2 boys....i was a co-sheperd together with david chua (the ultra tall man) as well aunty bee wan (thank God we had her at times oso if not we would be too stretched to take care of all the problematic children causing trouble, injuring ppl, talking nonsense, or jus running around being a nuisance {gabriel goh heh} etc)......btw i had one k2 kid whose name is reuben lim, he is really very cute heh, liz took a photo of him for me using her phone.....will upload it next time mayb? see how la, mayb not here but on facebook or wad heh......the way he says "kor kor daniel" really makes me feel like his older brother there to protect him, really thank God he did not get kicked on punched or anything man by any of the other kids dat i took lol if not it would be a very traumatic experience for him (because he is really small sized la) and for us sheperds as well lol.......anyway yes i did mention my boys kicking each other or sumtin like dat.......well my kids being little children like to play around Alot........the first day or so we jus couldnt get them to REST in the bunk lol, they would be playing and running around like nobody's business, then end up stepping on the other children lying down, either dat or they end up getting more violent than when the imaginary play fighting first started, like one kid i had, daniel murti wa he is damn violent wann lol.......he would kick the other kids if they like offended him even over the smallest of things like some kid accidently step on his blanket or sumtin........like one boy, reuben quek, aunty bee wan's son was kicked in the stomach by daniel murti lol......so jialat reuben came to me crying and telling me about the story at the same time, so sad......well thank God we expended the energies of the children quite abit by the 2nd day so when it was time for the children to have siesta or wad, most of them were resting peacefully in the bunk.......with the exception of a few who still wanted to play and all, but of course we made sure they didnt injure their frens anymore......the rest of the nites the children slept so well lol, cause we really expended all the energies in their little bodies through all the games, workshops and wad not conducted for them (GOOD JOB CAMP COMM AS WELL AS ALL THE HELPERS DAT MADE THIS CAMP HAPPEN BY THE WAY, im sure im not the onli one who appreciate their help at this camp)........the boys jus dun seem to listen to our instructions or rather follow them.......they hear us but they still run up and down the stairs at the fastest speeds they can manage heh..........i remember a few times i let them run all the way down by themselves for a few workshops when they were supposed to stay on the 3rd floor to look for sumtin or someone heh.......quite funny, let them be la let them expend their energies running up and down for nothing heh......there was this once linus asked them to find 'bob the builder' aka ibob heh.......i think they didnt listen to the briefing on who was 'bob the builder' so when linus asked them to find 'bob the builder', i jus shouted "GO FIND BOB THE BUILDER !!", and i made huge gestures with my hands heh, its funny even typing it.......then we were in sanctuary 2 and ibob was there as well but immediately after i said it, the kids rushed out the doors and went all the way down heheh.......sooooo funnny.......anyway i had to go down to find them and get them back to sanctuary again haha......quite amusing heh........this happened a few times ready......some kids jus dun follow instructions to follow their sheperds so i jus let them run around until they are tired then i go look for them and bring them back, kinda like sheep isnt it? (haha i jus thought of dat as i was typing)....other than the violence and all dat hyper activeness, i guess my kids were generally ok la, at least the vast majority of them dun talk nonsense......only one or 2 spouting nonsense and scolding their frens, mainly daniel murti, yu tong and mayb a few others more..........as usual i had to take care of the all too famous gabriel goh la, he was running around and making unusual comments loudly as usual all the time........luckily i could meet his energy level to run around catching him and grabbing him to sit down all dat.......oh ya another significant thing dat i remember from this camp was punishing gabriel goh and daniel murti because they simply did not listen to instructions to sit down and they kept running around when during their lessons..........well i took gabriel to the room with doors on both side then one at both sides of sanctuary 2 and i made him to jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, running on the spot, and i oso asked him to run up and down a flight of stairs and stuff like dat lol jus to expend his energy lol......i asked daniel murti to run up and down a longer flight of stairs cause i was quite pissed with him for not listening to instructions not to run around......after dat he sit down really quietly and listened to wad we had to say to the children........i tell u if the camp was any longer, i think more of the children dat didnt listen to our instructions to stop running around would have had a taste of the physical training lol.......i must say i kinda had a little bit of satisfaction from punishing them, sounds saddist yeah........i think its the influence of the army, and being a sgt, kinda getting used to getting ppl to do things......but its not mainly dat, its the expending of the energy of dat hyper active kid so dat dat kid wont be able to run around so much and cause trouble, like playing with the mic, climbing on the high stacks of chairs, doing nonsense.......i think its mainly dat la........
well more about the boys......this time the p3-p4 batch......i think lin ping and marvin had quite a hard time controlling them.......its like they are in the middle or being childish and being matured......so they like have both sides......imagine a p3-p4 not so little boy still playing on the playground and being hyper, running around, its quite hard to handle them if ur not on good terms with them or if u dunno them well prior to camp starting......not to mention the different ways needed to deal with every single one of them.....well i took a few of them last year when i was their sheperd so im on quite good terms with them all as a whole but i wasnt their sheperd heh......anyway they can be quite nice when they noe u and when u noe them la......i hid in their bunk when the little girls were chasing me around the church for the fun of it......haha its definitely worth it spending my leave and off at children's camp, watching as the little children grow up and mature mentally as well.....kinda of a fulfillment in some sorta way.........
the p5-p6 boys i didnt hear anything but good comments for them......their sheperds, kenneth ho and peter wang gave the boys quite abit of freedom to do whatever they wanted jus as long as they met the timing specified....it was quite a good way to lead them especially because the boys were quite mature......and might i mention the boys were on time for every activity as i saw it heh......not bad im impressed, considering i had quite a hard time rushing my little kids to meet the timing due to certain things we wanted to get done etc........
well having said so much about all the different types of kids dat we had to face at this "camp afloat".....kinda makes one wonder how do parents actually raise and govern their kids nowadays lol.......must be quite interesting to delve into the methods.....and of course u look at some kids and wonder wad could be the cause of this kid's misbehavior? could it be the way the parents raised them? i can only wonder cause i imagine dat if i myself were a 30 odd year old parent at this current age, with all the work-related stress going on on weekdays and so many other factors and worries they (I) have to take care of, dare i say dat i definitely will not let my child turn out dat way? well i dare not, and i can only speculate how i would want to treat and raise my kid when i do have one, if i do have one.......oh well dats all in the quite far away future i guess........
dats all from the long poster (me)......heh
Monday, May 26
i feel good
actually when i first wanted to post, i wanted to post about how depressed i was feeling.....army life is starting to get very very sian for me.....to a certain extent i cant wait for it to end, counting down to ord and at the same time thots of jus ending my life have come in more than once but i wake myself up cos i somehow noe its not worth it taking my life away because of the remaining 11 or 12 months or so of the lack of freedom in the army, thank God for dat if not i probably wont be around to tell my story now heh...i feel dat i can be used by God in mighty ways dat i may or may not imagine and i definitely can be of more use being alive than dead haha.....dun take me too seriously la its jus the depression....
i feel abit like a loner in there cause i'm not very close with many ppl in there.......in fact when i was in bmt,i wasnt very close to anyone in particular, i really dunno the reason oso but somehow i cant talk to alot of ppl on a deeper level........casue i cant relate to them being so perverted and dirty minded........
sispec it got slightly betta cause i feel i could at least talk abit to my bed buddy when he was around.....but still the same problem existed......
as you might have already read, when i was in skool of armour, it was quite jialat for me la....my bed buddy was a sucker heh.......but at least i had frens dat i could relate to at times........
army is getting quite sian now because they are keeping us in camp when we dun really have to be in camp, doing things dat are quite unnecessary as well as all the mundane chores of staying in........but at least now the frens dat i have are quite alrite even though some are still the usual f-ed up personnel.......
well well what could be the cause of the happiness so far? haha well i got the whole week off lol........cause they burned my vesak day public holiday for live firing which we didnt really have to do with the infantry men (cause we done the same firing and more before lol), and they oso burened our saturday half day for some sand model thingy which was not needed as well....so well the army has to pay us back for burning our days dats not supposed to be burned.......i got off for 1 and a half days then my oc (who is a super nice person) asked all of the new specialists and the new operators (aka drivers) to clear 3 and a half days of leave so i get the whole week off lol......so i can help out full time at children's camp as a sheperd.........quite shiok la.......plus the next week after dat, im taking leave to go for youth retreat full time so next next week will only be 2 days long in camp, such a good break im looking forward to.........now to talk about the sunday dat already passed....
SUNDAY.......i had a very refreshing time in worship, even though it was very warm....the aircon had somehow broken done and almost everywhere was hot and very humid.......everyone was talking about wad a warm worship we had and talk about giving a warm welcome to our newcomers lol....so lame man.........in worship, i saw ppl fanning themsleves on both the lower sanctuary and the upper sanctuary from wher i was sitting, i must say looking at the pattern and speed at which they fan themselves is kinda like an art, like even though some ppl fan in different directions, they all fan about the same speed haha kinda like art lol.........anyway dat aside i think worship was particluarly refreshing cos i wasnt so distracted as the previous few weeks i guess, i oso had more sleep the nite before......i feel worship can be a great place where cliques do not exist apart from the people you sit with la but still it doesnt matter dat much who u are sitting with (of course its nicer to have someone whom u noe sitting with u so u can talk and wad not haha) but i believe when the whole congregation is engaged in worship, it doesnt really matter who ur sitting with as well as whether cliques will exist during worship which is really great to me........
carrying on my day, i went to behind church for lunch with my brother who went to arpc for their service along with a few of the other yfers, jus because there they have aircon walao lol......we ate with cheng hui and yi cheng at the new western food stall......i think they cheat money wann lol, their plates are quite big but the portions is not dat big haha, part of the psychological effect, mayb its abit ex too haha.....i ate the mini portion of some fried fish with spaghetti, so not enough for me la....the spaghet it like a few strands of noodles onli la.....i went for a shiok bowl of shui jiao tang (dumpling soup), the damn shiok one at the wanton mee stall haha........after dat we played a very good game of floorball, oh ya cheng hui, yi cheng, linus played, together with wilfred and i, oh ya and kevin and his fren saleh......all guys affair haha cos suprisingly no girls came......but it was fun heh........had a great time of runnning around and feeling the rush of the speed heh.........oh ya i think i noe y cos i was wearing shoes to play as well i guess......
after dat i went on to play frisbee with the normal frisbee group dat play every sunday.....i thought the field would be wet and muddy cos slightly before dat it rained abit.......but when i got to the field, it was jus perfect la cos before the rain it was very hot so i guess the rain was wad we needed to soften the ground.....and like since it was so hot before the rain, the ground like absorbed all the water......the field was so perfect, i so enjoyed running back and forth on it, i felt like i could continue running here and there on hours on end.......i enjoyed the rush of running around and jumping, running and leaping here and there......reaql long since i enjoyed myself so much at frisbee.....welll i normally dun go for it cos i have to book in.......see how la if i can make it next week i guess i will......i guess the day couldnt be more perfect, i was listening to christian songs on my mp3 player while i was travelling to dinner at chinatown with my family (after frisbee ended) adn like normally when i dun feel good, many songs jus dun seem to click for me....feels wierd lol.......when i feel sad i really feel like drowning myself in music........
at chinatown.....alot of food choices there but i was lazy to walk around to seek out the various food choices so i jus had the same beef noodles dat my parents had, i ordered the last plate heh.......not too bad i must say........the lime juice dat i bought quite cheat money, like the aunty juiced a few limes with her juicer , the actual lime juice was onli like 1/8 of the cup or sumtin like dat, probably less, then she added water until the cup was about half full then she filled it to the max with huge ice cubes, walao but ok la cant really complain dat much cos its onli $1......... after dat still feeling good, i got home and talked to quite a few ppl at once online, i really relish and enjoyed the catching up with dat few frens, looking forward to doing it again some time soon.........listening to klove online again made me feel even greater heh.....
some things weighing me dun go away, they jus seem far away for the moment.....
somethings i must share......i feel very helpless of how to help myself.....it never was like this before, i dunno y its like this.....must be the work of the hormones haiz.......i cant help but notice and sometimes i dunno y i think the things i do when i see, shocks myself on how those thoughts can even be there in the first place, even with some of my frens......feel so helpless and desperate mayb? i dun wanna feel dat way, i wish it would all go away and go back to being jus about enjoying the friendship for the friendship in itself and not all the unintentional judging based on appearances, the way ppl perform etc........i feel hapless cos i dunno wad i should do....i guess i should jus come out and say dat i feel like i want to get attached, dunno y i feel this way but its how i feel........i cant say how wierd and awkward this is to me putting it down in words, not to mention wad ppl will think when they do read this post.....ouch man.....feels kinda like a post secret kinda thing, except the person who posts this is unannonymous (obviously)........i dunno, i feel if i should jus shy away from all form of female contact dat would tug at my heart strings......mayb i would feel betta and less desperate then..........
i feel a little stuck in a dilemma, like should i go out and do sumtin about how i feel i.e. mayb go out and actively search for a girlfriend (more for someone i talk about the deepest stuff with and also someone to love) which would be how the world in general would act........or should i wait for God to show me the right (and the best) person He has set apart for me? i dunno what it really means to wait.....how will i noe when the right person has come into my life or not? kinda makes me wish dat God would jus let me meet dat one person (or so whatever His plans are), wish i could jus cultivate a deeper friendship with dat person...(of course the other ordinary frens wouldnt be neglected la)........what if...God has already sent 'the right person' to be a part of life already.....i read somewhere dat God doesnt limit the right person to jus one, He plans a few for each and everyone because we all have the freedom of choice to choose (in some ways) our spouse or sumtin like dat la.......and if.....God has already put dat someone in my life, ok lets say by then......then wad should i do? jus sit around and wait? or do sumtin (i dunno wad) about it? the normal worldly thing would be do sumtin and probably actively chase dat 'right person'......haiz for now i can and will only sit around and wait cos i dunno wad to do, how to do it and mayb im too scared to take the chance......
well i think i've said quite abit too much........dats all for the nite now........tata.........
i feel abit like a loner in there cause i'm not very close with many ppl in there.......in fact when i was in bmt,i wasnt very close to anyone in particular, i really dunno the reason oso but somehow i cant talk to alot of ppl on a deeper level........casue i cant relate to them being so perverted and dirty minded........
sispec it got slightly betta cause i feel i could at least talk abit to my bed buddy when he was around.....but still the same problem existed......
as you might have already read, when i was in skool of armour, it was quite jialat for me la....my bed buddy was a sucker heh.......but at least i had frens dat i could relate to at times........
army is getting quite sian now because they are keeping us in camp when we dun really have to be in camp, doing things dat are quite unnecessary as well as all the mundane chores of staying in........but at least now the frens dat i have are quite alrite even though some are still the usual f-ed up personnel.......
well well what could be the cause of the happiness so far? haha well i got the whole week off lol........cause they burned my vesak day public holiday for live firing which we didnt really have to do with the infantry men (cause we done the same firing and more before lol), and they oso burened our saturday half day for some sand model thingy which was not needed as well....so well the army has to pay us back for burning our days dats not supposed to be burned.......i got off for 1 and a half days then my oc (who is a super nice person) asked all of the new specialists and the new operators (aka drivers) to clear 3 and a half days of leave so i get the whole week off lol......so i can help out full time at children's camp as a sheperd.........quite shiok la.......plus the next week after dat, im taking leave to go for youth retreat full time so next next week will only be 2 days long in camp, such a good break im looking forward to.........now to talk about the sunday dat already passed....
SUNDAY.......i had a very refreshing time in worship, even though it was very warm....the aircon had somehow broken done and almost everywhere was hot and very humid.......everyone was talking about wad a warm worship we had and talk about giving a warm welcome to our newcomers lol....so lame man.........in worship, i saw ppl fanning themsleves on both the lower sanctuary and the upper sanctuary from wher i was sitting, i must say looking at the pattern and speed at which they fan themselves is kinda like an art, like even though some ppl fan in different directions, they all fan about the same speed haha kinda like art lol.........anyway dat aside i think worship was particluarly refreshing cos i wasnt so distracted as the previous few weeks i guess, i oso had more sleep the nite before......i feel worship can be a great place where cliques do not exist apart from the people you sit with la but still it doesnt matter dat much who u are sitting with (of course its nicer to have someone whom u noe sitting with u so u can talk and wad not haha) but i believe when the whole congregation is engaged in worship, it doesnt really matter who ur sitting with as well as whether cliques will exist during worship which is really great to me........
carrying on my day, i went to behind church for lunch with my brother who went to arpc for their service along with a few of the other yfers, jus because there they have aircon walao lol......we ate with cheng hui and yi cheng at the new western food stall......i think they cheat money wann lol, their plates are quite big but the portions is not dat big haha, part of the psychological effect, mayb its abit ex too haha.....i ate the mini portion of some fried fish with spaghetti, so not enough for me la....the spaghet it like a few strands of noodles onli la.....i went for a shiok bowl of shui jiao tang (dumpling soup), the damn shiok one at the wanton mee stall haha........after dat we played a very good game of floorball, oh ya cheng hui, yi cheng, linus played, together with wilfred and i, oh ya and kevin and his fren saleh......all guys affair haha cos suprisingly no girls came......but it was fun heh........had a great time of runnning around and feeling the rush of the speed heh.........oh ya i think i noe y cos i was wearing shoes to play as well i guess......
after dat i went on to play frisbee with the normal frisbee group dat play every sunday.....i thought the field would be wet and muddy cos slightly before dat it rained abit.......but when i got to the field, it was jus perfect la cos before the rain it was very hot so i guess the rain was wad we needed to soften the ground.....and like since it was so hot before the rain, the ground like absorbed all the water......the field was so perfect, i so enjoyed running back and forth on it, i felt like i could continue running here and there on hours on end.......i enjoyed the rush of running around and jumping, running and leaping here and there......reaql long since i enjoyed myself so much at frisbee.....welll i normally dun go for it cos i have to book in.......see how la if i can make it next week i guess i will......i guess the day couldnt be more perfect, i was listening to christian songs on my mp3 player while i was travelling to dinner at chinatown with my family (after frisbee ended) adn like normally when i dun feel good, many songs jus dun seem to click for me....feels wierd lol.......when i feel sad i really feel like drowning myself in music........
at chinatown.....alot of food choices there but i was lazy to walk around to seek out the various food choices so i jus had the same beef noodles dat my parents had, i ordered the last plate heh.......not too bad i must say........the lime juice dat i bought quite cheat money, like the aunty juiced a few limes with her juicer , the actual lime juice was onli like 1/8 of the cup or sumtin like dat, probably less, then she added water until the cup was about half full then she filled it to the max with huge ice cubes, walao but ok la cant really complain dat much cos its onli $1......... after dat still feeling good, i got home and talked to quite a few ppl at once online, i really relish and enjoyed the catching up with dat few frens, looking forward to doing it again some time soon.........listening to klove online again made me feel even greater heh.....
some things weighing me dun go away, they jus seem far away for the moment.....
somethings i must share......i feel very helpless of how to help myself.....it never was like this before, i dunno y its like this.....must be the work of the hormones haiz.......i cant help but notice and sometimes i dunno y i think the things i do when i see, shocks myself on how those thoughts can even be there in the first place, even with some of my frens......feel so helpless and desperate mayb? i dun wanna feel dat way, i wish it would all go away and go back to being jus about enjoying the friendship for the friendship in itself and not all the unintentional judging based on appearances, the way ppl perform etc........i feel hapless cos i dunno wad i should do....i guess i should jus come out and say dat i feel like i want to get attached, dunno y i feel this way but its how i feel........i cant say how wierd and awkward this is to me putting it down in words, not to mention wad ppl will think when they do read this post.....ouch man.....feels kinda like a post secret kinda thing, except the person who posts this is unannonymous (obviously)........i dunno, i feel if i should jus shy away from all form of female contact dat would tug at my heart strings......mayb i would feel betta and less desperate then..........
i feel a little stuck in a dilemma, like should i go out and do sumtin about how i feel i.e. mayb go out and actively search for a girlfriend (more for someone i talk about the deepest stuff with and also someone to love) which would be how the world in general would act........or should i wait for God to show me the right (and the best) person He has set apart for me? i dunno what it really means to wait.....how will i noe when the right person has come into my life or not? kinda makes me wish dat God would jus let me meet dat one person (or so whatever His plans are), wish i could jus cultivate a deeper friendship with dat person...(of course the other ordinary frens wouldnt be neglected la)........what if...God has already sent 'the right person' to be a part of life already.....i read somewhere dat God doesnt limit the right person to jus one, He plans a few for each and everyone because we all have the freedom of choice to choose (in some ways) our spouse or sumtin like dat la.......and if.....God has already put dat someone in my life, ok lets say by then......then wad should i do? jus sit around and wait? or do sumtin (i dunno wad) about it? the normal worldly thing would be do sumtin and probably actively chase dat 'right person'......haiz for now i can and will only sit around and wait cos i dunno wad to do, how to do it and mayb im too scared to take the chance......
well i think i've said quite abit too much........dats all for the nite now........tata.........
Sunday, March 23
the off in lieu
well its really been awhile since i last posted.....i feel its really time for me to bare abit of my thots.....
well first and foremost, this post is wad i would call an ex post, which to me means blogging about past events dat i enjoyed but didnt have the time to blog before i booked in the last time........cause somehow or rather the time dat i spend outside of camp not only never seems enough, it also seems to somehow pass by too fast even tho i feel as if im not doing much.........
anyway here is some background for ppl who are oblivious to the ns terms and the way things work.....well the title 'off-in-lieu' means off basically.....they give us (a) day(s) off based on how many times our weekends get burned by activities on saturdays and/or sundays...thank God for the 5-day ns work day policy, at least for trainees at least, which i still am.......one of the very very little perks of being a low-life trainee........
but anyway my off-in-lieu started last wednesday, 190308 stretching all the way until sunday nite when i book in again.......but i must say i really relished the break and not to mention enjoyed myself alot lol....wednesday evening we booked out and i went to a club for the first time....i went to st james with my army coursemates and it was ladies nite lol......i went there to drink abit la the 2 free drinks dat u can get when u pay $20 for entry into the club haha but i didnt drink dat much to get myself drunk la.......but i really enjoyed myself there lol, dunno y leh, i went there and i danced around quite abit and dat in itself made me quite happy i guess.......after going there the first time, my frens alll say i very wild lol i cant believe it, cause i mainly went there to dance and mayb try to enjoy the ultra loud music and nothing much else.......quite curious y they say im very wild lol, mayb its cause they hardly dance around much except one of my frens who is a rather experienced clubber, he went around buah-ing girls, i bet he went to buah every girl he saw lol......oh wells dats his problem, i will probably never have the confidence or shamelessness to do dat, whatever way u want to look at it.......
let me try and remember wad i did on last thurs 200308......oh ya i remember i got home from clubbing the nite before at 7am cause we stayed at the club until the lights came on which was about 430am like dat, by the time we dilly dally around it was about 5 or 530am ready and since there was no bus yet, and we didnt want to take cab, we decided to wait for the first train to be in service before we took it........so we went to the hawker centre at habourfront there, and actually we were quite suprised to find one or 2 indian stalls jus preparing to open for business so early in the morning......we waited awhile for the stall to make their teh tarik which was super good la after a nite or so of drinking and stuff.......my frens dat were still with us mostly drank cold drinks lol so wierd, esp after clubbing the whole nite.......they also ate abit like prata haha, i wanted to eat roti john with cheese but my fren ordered the only one heh too bad la..........
let me see, after dat i slept until 1pm then i got a call from my fren, shalyn to go out and meet.......we had previously planned to meet up the day before......shalyn is this fren i met thru pep, the poly prayer and evangelism thing i used to go for sometime, back when i was in poly.....i stopped going for their gatherings cos i didnt really identify with the ppl there and mayb i felt i went there mayb for the wrong reasons......she also dropped out of the poly pep gathering thing after some time for some reason i dun really noe......but anyway i dunno how come we started talking to each other again cause we haven talked to each other for quite awhile cause we hardly get to meet cos we hav different schedules and we are not say the closest of frens.......i dunno la its abit fuzzy how come the both of us are talking now but guess it started when i noticed her facebook status which 'told' me dat she changed from being attached to being single.....so i dropped her a msg, to see if she was ok......then since last thursday i met her, she has been sharing bits and pieces of wad happened between her ex and her.....and i dunno wad to say to her as advice lol mayb because i dun have much experience and mayb oso cos its jus the "what am i doing here? or the how did i get here?" kinda thing but its alrite for me i guess...i jus pray dat she is feeling betta and dat God is actually leading her to wad He wants her to do in her life.......well yeah i talked to her for quite abit dat day......well she did most of the talking, there was nothing much i could have done except being a fren to listen......
anyway wad did i do on friday ah? oh yeah friday 210308 was good friday.......i went for good friday service which talked about pride and the very small little forms of it dat were taken for granted as not part of our own pride.........then after dat i was supposed to have a lunch date with my wife, titus dear but he had to pang seh me to go visit some relatives or frens la........anyway im quite thankful i managed to have lunch with andrew, my other best fren instead......we ate a very VERY hearty meal at botak jones lol.....we both ordered hotdogs........he ordered the pork sausage and i ordered the chilli dawg haha....monster size la plus the bun, i couldnt finish the bun but i ate up most of my fries and the coleslaw, to think i was still thinking of trying the tiramisu at the start of the meal.....but obviously there was no space after a giant hotdog and 2 drinks to let it flow down....we played a relaxed game of pool after dat.....since we were free, i sorta invited myself to andrew's house (well technically i only went cos he sook permission from his mom first then i went) since he had to take some time to get ready to go out again and i was jus waiting to play frisbee (something i haven done in quite awhile due to me having to book in on sundays).....it started to rain on our way back to his place and we had to run in, obviously we were wet abit........anyway i really enjoyed andrew's company and i relished the talking with him about the things dat were troubling me or weighing me down.......his advice was very timely and jus being able to share some of my difficulties and worries with a good fren really felt good, it was jus wad i needed after not talking to alot of my frens for so long.........after dat i had a blast playing frisbee, even tho i was really full i couldnt play as well, couldnt run as fast as i felt i could heh.....after dat i had a sort dinner with cheng hui and yi tao, i was still full from lunch lol so all i 'ate' more fluids dats all haha.....
saturday 220308......i went to my aunt's place for lunch......i can tell she enjoyed our company as usual i guess......i seriously cant remember much la it was quite long ago.....memories are so far from fuzzy already.....then for some reason i went to church, i really cant remember y la.........but i onli remember dat i left for kuishin-bo to eat a really good food buffet with section mates and my section instructor (and his fren who supposedly seems more than jus his fren, yeah my section instructor is quite happening and quite on wann, he talked to us quite a number of times when we were on course with him to check out how we all felt about the course and all, quite nice la) from Armoured Infantry Section Leader Course, back when i was a corporal on course with them, of cos now im a sergeant already, and now posted to a different unit from most of them......so seperated lol........after dat we went to marina square to watch a movie, something i haven done in a long time........we went to catch step up 2 lol......really nice la their dance moves......how i wish i could dance like them in clubs or sumtin like dat.........seems really nice and liberating to be dancing ur heart out like there's nobody watching...........i think wad i need is some place or form of activity to vent out pent up thoughts and a messed up head man......
sunday 230308 i went to help out aunty mabel with the kids, nothing much out of the ordinary i guess......probably had abit of gabriel in my day but nothing i cant handle, even on my own with out andrew, who hardly comes to help with me alot of the time........and then after dat the normal floorball, after yet another time at the toa payoh botak jones, i went there with titus, daniel fu and timothy sng.......it was quite wierd i must say cos it was jus supposed to be jus titus and i cos i really wanted to talk about my problems but somehow timothy sng and daniel fu tagged along as they thought it was open for all but i cant blame them as well la they dunno and they probably never will unless some smart alec directs them here.......so i didnt get to have the personal time with titus to talk out my problems and reservations.........well mayb some other time man........man its so hard to find time to talk to both my good frens lol.........in the meantime all i can do is try and get by with God's help.....and honestly jus try to get by la.........it can get quite low in camp alot of the times........then the normal sunday nite book in sighs.........i really dread leaving the house at times like these...........
MORE RECENT STUFF
p.s. notice the date of this post.....when i POP-ed from the skool of armour camp at sungei gedong, i felt so happy lol, i was at an ultimate low when i there, partly because of some of the frends there.........quite a few are f-ed up la (im sorry i dunnno wad other way to describe them), some are backstabbers, some jus cant be bothered to do anything, some are jus i dunno how to describe except f-ed up.........it pretty much covers and most adequately describes them la.........i must say it was very hard for me to find ppl i could talk to in AISL.......i really couldnt stand my bed buddy la, normally in the saf ur bed buddy is supposed to be the one person u are able to talk to even if u cant talk to any other ppl.......he is supposed to be your best fren.......but my bed buddy and i, i can never forget him..........to say he is f-ed up is quite an understatement.........i really hated him......really i dun hate ppl easily but he is a totally different issue........he jus cant keep his mouth shut........he always comments on the things dat i do and i mean always.........drives me crazy, cos some of the things i do are not even very serious compared to wad he does, his attitude is like if he can siam he will siam and try his best not to do ANYTHING at all.......and he has the cheek to talk about my actions!!! cant stand it, he is part of the reason y i was so happy to POP.........oh ya and i can hardly talk to the rest of my section as in the honest kind of way cos the way they all think is quite different and they think of way more perverted and wad not stuff......
anyway now things are slightly different now......having POP-ed and all, the problems inside are still there......its the co-existing with some of the f-ed up ppl now dat i still face.......at least now as a sgt i get more freedom to go to the canteen, mess and stuff like dat.........luckily im not in direct contact with the f-ed up personnel, as in im in a seperate bunk with one of old AISL my section mates dat is quite a good fren.........but of course they expect a higher standard of discipline from all of us and all........well i'll update more on dat next time la..........
well first and foremost, this post is wad i would call an ex post, which to me means blogging about past events dat i enjoyed but didnt have the time to blog before i booked in the last time........cause somehow or rather the time dat i spend outside of camp not only never seems enough, it also seems to somehow pass by too fast even tho i feel as if im not doing much.........
anyway here is some background for ppl who are oblivious to the ns terms and the way things work.....well the title 'off-in-lieu' means off basically.....they give us (a) day(s) off based on how many times our weekends get burned by activities on saturdays and/or sundays...thank God for the 5-day ns work day policy, at least for trainees at least, which i still am.......one of the very very little perks of being a low-life trainee........
but anyway my off-in-lieu started last wednesday, 190308 stretching all the way until sunday nite when i book in again.......but i must say i really relished the break and not to mention enjoyed myself alot lol....wednesday evening we booked out and i went to a club for the first time....i went to st james with my army coursemates and it was ladies nite lol......i went there to drink abit la the 2 free drinks dat u can get when u pay $20 for entry into the club haha but i didnt drink dat much to get myself drunk la.......but i really enjoyed myself there lol, dunno y leh, i went there and i danced around quite abit and dat in itself made me quite happy i guess.......after going there the first time, my frens alll say i very wild lol i cant believe it, cause i mainly went there to dance and mayb try to enjoy the ultra loud music and nothing much else.......quite curious y they say im very wild lol, mayb its cause they hardly dance around much except one of my frens who is a rather experienced clubber, he went around buah-ing girls, i bet he went to buah every girl he saw lol......oh wells dats his problem, i will probably never have the confidence or shamelessness to do dat, whatever way u want to look at it.......
let me try and remember wad i did on last thurs 200308......oh ya i remember i got home from clubbing the nite before at 7am cause we stayed at the club until the lights came on which was about 430am like dat, by the time we dilly dally around it was about 5 or 530am ready and since there was no bus yet, and we didnt want to take cab, we decided to wait for the first train to be in service before we took it........so we went to the hawker centre at habourfront there, and actually we were quite suprised to find one or 2 indian stalls jus preparing to open for business so early in the morning......we waited awhile for the stall to make their teh tarik which was super good la after a nite or so of drinking and stuff.......my frens dat were still with us mostly drank cold drinks lol so wierd, esp after clubbing the whole nite.......they also ate abit like prata haha, i wanted to eat roti john with cheese but my fren ordered the only one heh too bad la..........
let me see, after dat i slept until 1pm then i got a call from my fren, shalyn to go out and meet.......we had previously planned to meet up the day before......shalyn is this fren i met thru pep, the poly prayer and evangelism thing i used to go for sometime, back when i was in poly.....i stopped going for their gatherings cos i didnt really identify with the ppl there and mayb i felt i went there mayb for the wrong reasons......she also dropped out of the poly pep gathering thing after some time for some reason i dun really noe......but anyway i dunno how come we started talking to each other again cause we haven talked to each other for quite awhile cause we hardly get to meet cos we hav different schedules and we are not say the closest of frens.......i dunno la its abit fuzzy how come the both of us are talking now but guess it started when i noticed her facebook status which 'told' me dat she changed from being attached to being single.....so i dropped her a msg, to see if she was ok......then since last thursday i met her, she has been sharing bits and pieces of wad happened between her ex and her.....and i dunno wad to say to her as advice lol mayb because i dun have much experience and mayb oso cos its jus the "what am i doing here? or the how did i get here?" kinda thing but its alrite for me i guess...i jus pray dat she is feeling betta and dat God is actually leading her to wad He wants her to do in her life.......well yeah i talked to her for quite abit dat day......well she did most of the talking, there was nothing much i could have done except being a fren to listen......
anyway wad did i do on friday ah? oh yeah friday 210308 was good friday.......i went for good friday service which talked about pride and the very small little forms of it dat were taken for granted as not part of our own pride.........then after dat i was supposed to have a lunch date with my wife, titus dear but he had to pang seh me to go visit some relatives or frens la........anyway im quite thankful i managed to have lunch with andrew, my other best fren instead......we ate a very VERY hearty meal at botak jones lol.....we both ordered hotdogs........he ordered the pork sausage and i ordered the chilli dawg haha....monster size la plus the bun, i couldnt finish the bun but i ate up most of my fries and the coleslaw, to think i was still thinking of trying the tiramisu at the start of the meal.....but obviously there was no space after a giant hotdog and 2 drinks to let it flow down....we played a relaxed game of pool after dat.....since we were free, i sorta invited myself to andrew's house (well technically i only went cos he sook permission from his mom first then i went) since he had to take some time to get ready to go out again and i was jus waiting to play frisbee (something i haven done in quite awhile due to me having to book in on sundays).....it started to rain on our way back to his place and we had to run in, obviously we were wet abit........anyway i really enjoyed andrew's company and i relished the talking with him about the things dat were troubling me or weighing me down.......his advice was very timely and jus being able to share some of my difficulties and worries with a good fren really felt good, it was jus wad i needed after not talking to alot of my frens for so long.........after dat i had a blast playing frisbee, even tho i was really full i couldnt play as well, couldnt run as fast as i felt i could heh.....after dat i had a sort dinner with cheng hui and yi tao, i was still full from lunch lol so all i 'ate' more fluids dats all haha.....
saturday 220308......i went to my aunt's place for lunch......i can tell she enjoyed our company as usual i guess......i seriously cant remember much la it was quite long ago.....memories are so far from fuzzy already.....then for some reason i went to church, i really cant remember y la.........but i onli remember dat i left for kuishin-bo to eat a really good food buffet with section mates and my section instructor (and his fren who supposedly seems more than jus his fren, yeah my section instructor is quite happening and quite on wann, he talked to us quite a number of times when we were on course with him to check out how we all felt about the course and all, quite nice la) from Armoured Infantry Section Leader Course, back when i was a corporal on course with them, of cos now im a sergeant already, and now posted to a different unit from most of them......so seperated lol........after dat we went to marina square to watch a movie, something i haven done in a long time........we went to catch step up 2 lol......really nice la their dance moves......how i wish i could dance like them in clubs or sumtin like dat.........seems really nice and liberating to be dancing ur heart out like there's nobody watching...........i think wad i need is some place or form of activity to vent out pent up thoughts and a messed up head man......
sunday 230308 i went to help out aunty mabel with the kids, nothing much out of the ordinary i guess......probably had abit of gabriel in my day but nothing i cant handle, even on my own with out andrew, who hardly comes to help with me alot of the time........and then after dat the normal floorball, after yet another time at the toa payoh botak jones, i went there with titus, daniel fu and timothy sng.......it was quite wierd i must say cos it was jus supposed to be jus titus and i cos i really wanted to talk about my problems but somehow timothy sng and daniel fu tagged along as they thought it was open for all but i cant blame them as well la they dunno and they probably never will unless some smart alec directs them here.......so i didnt get to have the personal time with titus to talk out my problems and reservations.........well mayb some other time man........man its so hard to find time to talk to both my good frens lol.........in the meantime all i can do is try and get by with God's help.....and honestly jus try to get by la.........it can get quite low in camp alot of the times........then the normal sunday nite book in sighs.........i really dread leaving the house at times like these...........
MORE RECENT STUFF
p.s. notice the date of this post.....when i POP-ed from the skool of armour camp at sungei gedong, i felt so happy lol, i was at an ultimate low when i there, partly because of some of the frends there.........quite a few are f-ed up la (im sorry i dunnno wad other way to describe them), some are backstabbers, some jus cant be bothered to do anything, some are jus i dunno how to describe except f-ed up.........it pretty much covers and most adequately describes them la.........i must say it was very hard for me to find ppl i could talk to in AISL.......i really couldnt stand my bed buddy la, normally in the saf ur bed buddy is supposed to be the one person u are able to talk to even if u cant talk to any other ppl.......he is supposed to be your best fren.......but my bed buddy and i, i can never forget him..........to say he is f-ed up is quite an understatement.........i really hated him......really i dun hate ppl easily but he is a totally different issue........he jus cant keep his mouth shut........he always comments on the things dat i do and i mean always.........drives me crazy, cos some of the things i do are not even very serious compared to wad he does, his attitude is like if he can siam he will siam and try his best not to do ANYTHING at all.......and he has the cheek to talk about my actions!!! cant stand it, he is part of the reason y i was so happy to POP.........oh ya and i can hardly talk to the rest of my section as in the honest kind of way cos the way they all think is quite different and they think of way more perverted and wad not stuff......
anyway now things are slightly different now......having POP-ed and all, the problems inside are still there......its the co-existing with some of the f-ed up ppl now dat i still face.......at least now as a sgt i get more freedom to go to the canteen, mess and stuff like dat.........luckily im not in direct contact with the f-ed up personnel, as in im in a seperate bunk with one of old AISL my section mates dat is quite a good fren.........but of course they expect a higher standard of discipline from all of us and all........well i'll update more on dat next time la..........
Sunday, February 10
its been awhile
yeah i guess its been awhile since my blog actually published its last post........i'd say dat actually MOST of the time i dun have much time to spend outside of camp to actually have time to blog much, considering dat i come book out from camp on friday and i normally reach home about 8 plus or nineish.....sleep in on saturday (cos dats the only day i can do so) and then go for yf........then sunday i go for the 1030am service (with the once in awhile of me making it for my ag in the morning [i will try to go more often tho since im caught up with helping the little cute children for beginners every sunday for now until march or april])....then after dat its floorball for me until 4 or 430pm....after dat, by the time i get home, its already like 5 plus like dat, so i hardly hav much time to blog then since i will go bathe and get ready to go for dinner, pack my bag for camp all dat cause i normally havta book into camp by 2200hrs, so i will have to leave from dinner,probably early (which i really hate for some reason) cause my parents and i dun want me to be late (cause i run the risk of getting confined or other regimental punishments, which i have not gotten so far because even tho i have been bordering on the line of lateness many atimes, God has been gracious and good to provide chances for me to slip by without incident, but of course i will not take my chances for granted....)
wa dat was quite a mouthful to say all at once......but it more or less sums up every weekend of mine dat i go thru........the only things dat change are the things dat happen during the week, how i feel each sunday and how i relate to ppl i guess......
i cant really think of wad i originally wanted to post for today ready........oh wells i guess i should turn in to bed soon so i can wake up fresh and early for service later so yeah good nite, will post more later if i remember and if i have the time....
wa dat was quite a mouthful to say all at once......but it more or less sums up every weekend of mine dat i go thru........the only things dat change are the things dat happen during the week, how i feel each sunday and how i relate to ppl i guess......
i cant really think of wad i originally wanted to post for today ready........oh wells i guess i should turn in to bed soon so i can wake up fresh and early for service later so yeah good nite, will post more later if i remember and if i have the time....
Wednesday, December 19
i choose happiness
well i cant really say i am a person who is very happy cause normally i'm not.........i guess i like to mope esp when im unhappy........i think too much about too many unnecessary things as well so thus things like this add to my unhappiness........i feel the graph of happiness generally dips in the lower region most of the time and i hardly am able to stay happy quite abit of the time..........
ok i admit this post was started at a time when i was feeling very sian and its more a build up of many things dat are not satisfactory to me at dat time dat really made me more prone to mope....... wad really made me want to chose happiness is cause i volunteered to be one of the carolers at bishan home some time earlier this december.......i went there to sing of course but wad really impacted me was seeing the joy and passion of one of the aunties from the chinese/cantonese service when she was singing on stage (together with the rest of the 'canto choir' haha oops)......the aunty was wearing red haha i still remember......i could tell from her face dat she was very happy to be singing and her face also told em dat she had the passion to serve God in dat area.......dat sorta got me thinking, if one aunty who is probably 3 times my age at least, who has gone thru so much more than me, can still be so happy at her age, what right have i, this 20 yr old teen to mope? it really seems very easy and logical to say this on hindsight but i oso understand how when ur facing some problem(s) in ur life, dats the only thing u will think about........but yeah i really thank God for speaking to me in such small and minute ways........
now im much betta ready....i feeel quite good now, mayb cos things are going more smoothly in the army, its not shiong to me (training is jus [free] training up my body to me) for now, its still bearable, in fact it has almost always been bearable to me............and also some of the things bothering me are more or less solved or i have gotten a more clear cut answer which satisfies me rite now........i dun think so much nowadays, partly becos i dun hav the free time to think about so many unnecessary things which is great......i also feel closer to God nowadays cause i've been able to do my QT more regularly (there was one period of time dat i missed quite a few days, still trying to catch up as of now....)....i dunno if dat has anything to do with feeling or not but i really feel God has drawn me closer to Him now.........
now then i noe (i dunno how many times i have said this)....when ur in the army, u really feel so detached from the world......u literally dunno wads going on in there unless some ppl take the effort to update u once in awhile......its nice to hav ppl to actually reply msges to every once in awhile lol.....and its like u spend so much time staying in dat all u are really looking forward to is getting out for the weekend, or even getting out jus for the nite to take a look at the outside civilisation........but the paradox is dat when we all get out, we really dun have any clue on wad to do lol.......really! and its quite sian sometimes....mayb its cos of the very short time we spend outside as well........
oh wells i dun hav much to post about, except dat i hav been posted to armour training institute.....so next time i would know how to drive a tank around for war (if there ever is in the first place)........so my beret is a black colour beret (to hide the grease, oil and dirt so they say)........i seasoned it quite abit and i really like it cause i feel like there's quite abit of pride in wearing a black beret even tho alot of ppl say its shiong........and i think its very handsome summore, black, quite a cool colour heh......i hear its one of the elites besides sof, commandos and guards........woah sense of pride man..........i really love wearing the beret around (for now), so proud of it haha but we didnt havta do anything to earn our beret which is abit of a waste..........oh yeah i had an ippt trial test today and i would have gotten gold for ippt if not for my missing the timing by 0.1 sec........alot of ppl really pity me.....but oh wells to me i jus suck thumb la, i noe myself........if i cant run i cant run.......i think i didnt really push myself today and i really didnt have the mental strength to carry on running endlessly on the track, its really boring lol sian......now its time to go soak my clothes and then go to sleep.....till next update...............
ok i admit this post was started at a time when i was feeling very sian and its more a build up of many things dat are not satisfactory to me at dat time dat really made me more prone to mope....... wad really made me want to chose happiness is cause i volunteered to be one of the carolers at bishan home some time earlier this december.......i went there to sing of course but wad really impacted me was seeing the joy and passion of one of the aunties from the chinese/cantonese service when she was singing on stage (together with the rest of the 'canto choir' haha oops)......the aunty was wearing red haha i still remember......i could tell from her face dat she was very happy to be singing and her face also told em dat she had the passion to serve God in dat area.......dat sorta got me thinking, if one aunty who is probably 3 times my age at least, who has gone thru so much more than me, can still be so happy at her age, what right have i, this 20 yr old teen to mope? it really seems very easy and logical to say this on hindsight but i oso understand how when ur facing some problem(s) in ur life, dats the only thing u will think about........but yeah i really thank God for speaking to me in such small and minute ways........
now im much betta ready....i feeel quite good now, mayb cos things are going more smoothly in the army, its not shiong to me (training is jus [free] training up my body to me) for now, its still bearable, in fact it has almost always been bearable to me............and also some of the things bothering me are more or less solved or i have gotten a more clear cut answer which satisfies me rite now........i dun think so much nowadays, partly becos i dun hav the free time to think about so many unnecessary things which is great......i also feel closer to God nowadays cause i've been able to do my QT more regularly (there was one period of time dat i missed quite a few days, still trying to catch up as of now....)....i dunno if dat has anything to do with feeling or not but i really feel God has drawn me closer to Him now.........
now then i noe (i dunno how many times i have said this)....when ur in the army, u really feel so detached from the world......u literally dunno wads going on in there unless some ppl take the effort to update u once in awhile......its nice to hav ppl to actually reply msges to every once in awhile lol.....and its like u spend so much time staying in dat all u are really looking forward to is getting out for the weekend, or even getting out jus for the nite to take a look at the outside civilisation........but the paradox is dat when we all get out, we really dun have any clue on wad to do lol.......really! and its quite sian sometimes....mayb its cos of the very short time we spend outside as well........
oh wells i dun hav much to post about, except dat i hav been posted to armour training institute.....so next time i would know how to drive a tank around for war (if there ever is in the first place)........so my beret is a black colour beret (to hide the grease, oil and dirt so they say)........i seasoned it quite abit and i really like it cause i feel like there's quite abit of pride in wearing a black beret even tho alot of ppl say its shiong........and i think its very handsome summore, black, quite a cool colour heh......i hear its one of the elites besides sof, commandos and guards........woah sense of pride man..........i really love wearing the beret around (for now), so proud of it haha but we didnt havta do anything to earn our beret which is abit of a waste..........oh yeah i had an ippt trial test today and i would have gotten gold for ippt if not for my missing the timing by 0.1 sec........alot of ppl really pity me.....but oh wells to me i jus suck thumb la, i noe myself........if i cant run i cant run.......i think i didnt really push myself today and i really didnt have the mental strength to carry on running endlessly on the track, its really boring lol sian......now its time to go soak my clothes and then go to sleep.....till next update...............
Saturday, November 24
plain and simple
this post was started on 10th of november, 1453hrs
haiz i guess im not going for yf today..........cause i havta wait for my clothes to dry lol.......cause they have to be dripped dry cos they were dipped in some super strong mosquito and insect solution.......
anyway as usual i feel like blogging but i jus dunno where to start and end........cos there are so many trains of thoughts passing thru this station of my mind.....i feel just messed up in my head la......so mayb i decided to jus talk plainly for this post and stuff (hopefully i dun regret sharing too much but i dun want to think so much now la heh......)
coming out on the weekends from the army, its like everything else has rushed so far and fast ahead and we (the army guys) are jus left behind in a stand still........i dunno (and cant remember) if i shared this before but everything seems different.......the way i spend my time is somewhat different as well mayb cos of the lack of time to do much as well la.........the music i listen to is somewhat different as well, an example is for like christian songs in my mp3 player has been much revised i'd say since before i went to bmt until now.......some songs jus dun appeal to me the same way they did last time...i have also added so many new songs into my player, quite a few from klove and im listening to many new songs now....dunno how to describe it for understanding, i myself dun really understand but i know its happening.........
of course i feel that almost everyone i meet when i come out is different, they have moved and progressed with the pace of living in singapore and somehow the things that they are interested in has seemed to have changed overnight
(ok mayb this last sentence is not really linked and it may not come out right, cause i'm halfway watching a touching korean show (something that probably wont happen in real life)
with the tv by my side and my comm the firefox keep hanging and closing.....so i cant really remember wad i jus typed jus now........and if i missed anything that i wanted to say but might have disappeared........oh wells suck thumb (meaning bear with it or sumtin like dat, a phrase i learnt in army)......)
oh yeah before u carry on reading, i would really appreciate it if you could reserve your comments here......as in dun tag your comments on my tag board......email me......erhm if u dun have my email, lol go find out la haha oops sorry.......
hmm ok mayb its time for some of the things that have been weighing my mind down.........to be plain and honest, i feel the pressure to get attached to someone, not to have someone physically to hold or wad but i think its really for the companionship.........i would be honest, i yearn to have a good fren from the opposite gender to share my troubles and stuff with and also may i be bold enough to say, someone to love as well..........walao its like so wierd sharing this on my blog but i betta finish it before i decide to post this entire post somewhere else, somewhere private..........mayb its the unspoken peer pressures of my frens around me (its not their fault, mayb its jus me knowing that they are attached and SEEM (you never really know until your really in the relationship) to be happily in love and stuff) or mayb its the pressures from the world we live in, from the media, from tv shows showing couples happily in love and stuff (even though we know it may not be true sometimes, we know that shows often dun show things that happen in real life but still we're drawn to the facade of the dream...)........hmm...i dunno y i feel this way la its like life gets complicated when ur thinking about this kinda things..........
haiz i guess im not going for yf today..........cause i havta wait for my clothes to dry lol.......cause they have to be dripped dry cos they were dipped in some super strong mosquito and insect solution.......
anyway as usual i feel like blogging but i jus dunno where to start and end........cos there are so many trains of thoughts passing thru this station of my mind.....i feel just messed up in my head la......so mayb i decided to jus talk plainly for this post and stuff (hopefully i dun regret sharing too much but i dun want to think so much now la heh......)
coming out on the weekends from the army, its like everything else has rushed so far and fast ahead and we (the army guys) are jus left behind in a stand still........i dunno (and cant remember) if i shared this before but everything seems different.......the way i spend my time is somewhat different as well mayb cos of the lack of time to do much as well la.........the music i listen to is somewhat different as well, an example is for like christian songs in my mp3 player has been much revised i'd say since before i went to bmt until now.......some songs jus dun appeal to me the same way they did last time...i have also added so many new songs into my player, quite a few from klove and im listening to many new songs now....dunno how to describe it for understanding, i myself dun really understand but i know its happening.........
of course i feel that almost everyone i meet when i come out is different, they have moved and progressed with the pace of living in singapore and somehow the things that they are interested in has seemed to have changed overnight
(ok mayb this last sentence is not really linked and it may not come out right, cause i'm halfway watching a touching korean show (something that probably wont happen in real life)
with the tv by my side and my comm the firefox keep hanging and closing.....so i cant really remember wad i jus typed jus now........and if i missed anything that i wanted to say but might have disappeared........oh wells suck thumb (meaning bear with it or sumtin like dat, a phrase i learnt in army)......)
oh yeah before u carry on reading, i would really appreciate it if you could reserve your comments here......as in dun tag your comments on my tag board......email me......erhm if u dun have my email, lol go find out la haha oops sorry.......
hmm ok mayb its time for some of the things that have been weighing my mind down.........to be plain and honest, i feel the pressure to get attached to someone, not to have someone physically to hold or wad but i think its really for the companionship.........i would be honest, i yearn to have a good fren from the opposite gender to share my troubles and stuff with and also may i be bold enough to say, someone to love as well..........walao its like so wierd sharing this on my blog but i betta finish it before i decide to post this entire post somewhere else, somewhere private..........mayb its the unspoken peer pressures of my frens around me (its not their fault, mayb its jus me knowing that they are attached and SEEM (you never really know until your really in the relationship) to be happily in love and stuff) or mayb its the pressures from the world we live in, from the media, from tv shows showing couples happily in love and stuff (even though we know it may not be true sometimes, we know that shows often dun show things that happen in real life but still we're drawn to the facade of the dream...)........hmm...i dunno y i feel this way la its like life gets complicated when ur thinking about this kinda things..........
mayb i hav the face of one that is attached lol…….o_O there is such a thing? lol…..quite a lot of times ready ppl i meet (ppl i dun really noe) ask me if im attached and i answer “no” then they tell me “oh u look like someone who is attached….” I’m like “o kayy…” i wonder wad makes them think dat way lol……there was this time we were having team building, team learning (or wad the army calls “tbtl”) then my company officer commanding was conducting it……he like keep on asking me if i had a girl friend lol for about at least 7 plus times……i oso dunno how to react his repeated, same questions…..as if one answer of no is not enough lol! quite funny la, end up dat became the joke of the day……end up all my platoon mates keep asking me if i had a girl fren the rest of the day……walao talk about pressures even from the OC (in other words the officer commanding)….dats y i say it might be becos i hav a face of one who is attached (lol so weird typing this, mayb this comes off wrong but i’m past caring about dat haha)……..
anyway dats one of my problems…….my spirit is quite heavy now, sian mayb because i havta book in later.......sian la and stuff like dat.....
well i started this post on the 10th of november and i'm onli completing it now, which is 24th of nov so its quite outdated but its wad i felt before at some point of time nonetheless.....
ok looking back it seems funny how i felt so desperate and lonely and stuff like dat when i should actually trust God to provide.....somehow God is gracious and i think He has brought me thru and past thinking like dat i guess........i have come to see the light again.......y i say again? its because quite some time back i had all my thinking sorted out and i didnt think of this kinda thing but i dunno y i recently thot about all these things again....anyway i'm very glad its over and that God has helped me sort out my thinking again.........
some other things i would jus like to note.........i still wonder if u like me.......i wonder in my mind and heart if u are actually showing me concern as a fren (as i presume) or do u care for me more than a fren? some times i feel that u like me and yet sometimes i feel that u jus care for me as a fren, depending on the circumstances, mayb i might jus be thinking too much lol......i guess i would want to noe if u liked me or not but then again i dunno wad to do even if i knew...........i guess im tired of guessing, wondering if i'm right or wrong.....i dun wanna ask u direct cause i think it might spoil our frenship, i rather keep the frenship and not noe THAN know and not keep the closeness but of cos i want the best of both worlds heh.......i jus hope the person im refering to reads this and mayb sumtin will happen, of course i wont reveal the name of the person here lol, dats direct stupidity lol........
post ended on 24th november 0106hrs
Sunday, November 18
a little note
hey guys........
i wanted to blog today but i jus dun hav enough time to do so la..........the having to travel so far and so long to my camp frustruates me alot lol........anyway i had a post to post last week but i haven finished it so i will probably finish it when i have the time which is probably next week cause i will be having of in due then, from wednesday i'll be given off cause they are paying us back for all the times we had to stay in cause of activities on weekends......yeah so i'll be free this coming week from wednesday all the way until the weekend lol......its a nice thing to look forward to......jus the freedom for awhile.......ok la till i have the time to properly blog........wait for it if u want to read lol haha........
i wanted to blog today but i jus dun hav enough time to do so la..........the having to travel so far and so long to my camp frustruates me alot lol........anyway i had a post to post last week but i haven finished it so i will probably finish it when i have the time which is probably next week cause i will be having of in due then, from wednesday i'll be given off cause they are paying us back for all the times we had to stay in cause of activities on weekends......yeah so i'll be free this coming week from wednesday all the way until the weekend lol......its a nice thing to look forward to......jus the freedom for awhile.......ok la till i have the time to properly blog........wait for it if u want to read lol haha........
Sunday, November 4
dear all,
all those who care about me, whether they read my blog or not........i'm very thankful for all of you........well firstly i must say dat my mind is in a little bit of a whirl........ok dats considered good ready lol.....cause when the intention of posting again first came to me, my mind was really in a big whirl..........but i really feel better after going thru today..........i thank God for helping me to get back on feeling somewhat normal and for Him giving me peace as well...........hmm mayb the listening to chistian music helped abit as well...........now im not really thinking of those unnecessary things that i was thinking about before today............
anyway jus a little update for how i've been coping in sispec........well i cant really remember the specifics of all the activities that i've done.......to me i onli remember the ppl i meet and the ppl in charge more clearly, every time i interact with them i bring back with me things that make an impression on me of them.......i dunno if dat made sense but oh wells....moving on, actually i've had quite abit of time to post during most of my weekends out but i never found the time cos i'm either distracted by the tv or wad OR i'm organising my songs in my mp3 player, and somehow whatever i do during the weekends, it seems to take up alot of my time out so jus like dat my weekends are burnt quite fast and the original intention to blog dat week would be procrastinated, left for 'some week then im more free to blog.....'
okayy i havta rush this cos im going for dinner soon, no doubt near my house but still the travelling time to boon lay mrt then still must take bus to my camp.......wa its damn sian la.....and not to mention long la....how i wish i could get posted to tekong lol......at least its near my house la sianded..........everytime i go to camp, it would take like 1 and a half hours to reach.....and i always feel dat the time they want us to book in is so early la.........haha mayb its also due to the long travelling time...........for dat part, if i dun have music to listen to along the journey, its a damn sian feeling lol.......haha im half yearning for a high capacity mp3/mp4 player where if im bored, i can listen to music or watch shows on my player lol.....then i can entertain myself by watching smallville and all kinds of shows lol shiok man......ok but dats part of my dreams until i really convince myself to look for one such player and actually buy it............anyway for sispec, i dun hav much to say about it..........army is the same kinda sian everywhere, almost everywhere is jus brainless exercises to get your combat and physical fitness up.........besides that there is also the mental pressure used by your superiors to mould and shape up your minds to be more tough and mayb mature your thinking in some ways.........dats about all i can think of in a short time.........next time when i have more time i post more la.....and besides dat i havta be careful wad i post about cos i dun wanna get charged by mindef or something even higher cause the whole world who reads my blog can find out every single thing there is to know about the army etc.......well yes! its a chargeable offence or sumtin like dat cause its sorta like a threat to national security when ppl find out too much about your defence force, how they operate, then they mayb able to counter it with a well-planned attack all dat kinda shit la.......especially if its other countries ppl reading heh (no offence to those foreigners (if there are) who read my blog heh.....)
ok i gotta go for dinner ready.............till next time post......this isnt much of an update but yeah.....i hope it will suffice...........bye for now.............
anyway jus a little update for how i've been coping in sispec........well i cant really remember the specifics of all the activities that i've done.......to me i onli remember the ppl i meet and the ppl in charge more clearly, every time i interact with them i bring back with me things that make an impression on me of them.......i dunno if dat made sense but oh wells....moving on, actually i've had quite abit of time to post during most of my weekends out but i never found the time cos i'm either distracted by the tv or wad OR i'm organising my songs in my mp3 player, and somehow whatever i do during the weekends, it seems to take up alot of my time out so jus like dat my weekends are burnt quite fast and the original intention to blog dat week would be procrastinated, left for 'some week then im more free to blog.....'
okayy i havta rush this cos im going for dinner soon, no doubt near my house but still the travelling time to boon lay mrt then still must take bus to my camp.......wa its damn sian la.....and not to mention long la....how i wish i could get posted to tekong lol......at least its near my house la sianded..........everytime i go to camp, it would take like 1 and a half hours to reach.....and i always feel dat the time they want us to book in is so early la.........haha mayb its also due to the long travelling time...........for dat part, if i dun have music to listen to along the journey, its a damn sian feeling lol.......haha im half yearning for a high capacity mp3/mp4 player where if im bored, i can listen to music or watch shows on my player lol.....then i can entertain myself by watching smallville and all kinds of shows lol shiok man......ok but dats part of my dreams until i really convince myself to look for one such player and actually buy it............anyway for sispec, i dun hav much to say about it..........army is the same kinda sian everywhere, almost everywhere is jus brainless exercises to get your combat and physical fitness up.........besides that there is also the mental pressure used by your superiors to mould and shape up your minds to be more tough and mayb mature your thinking in some ways.........dats about all i can think of in a short time.........next time when i have more time i post more la.....and besides dat i havta be careful wad i post about cos i dun wanna get charged by mindef or something even higher cause the whole world who reads my blog can find out every single thing there is to know about the army etc.......well yes! its a chargeable offence or sumtin like dat cause its sorta like a threat to national security when ppl find out too much about your defence force, how they operate, then they mayb able to counter it with a well-planned attack all dat kinda shit la.......especially if its other countries ppl reading heh (no offence to those foreigners (if there are) who read my blog heh.....)
ok i gotta go for dinner ready.............till next time post......this isnt much of an update but yeah.....i hope it will suffice...........bye for now.............
Sunday, September 23
jus a little update
heh its been awhile since i last posted haha......i realise dat too myself but even though i have had my block leave from my passing out parade, i havent had much time to think about blogging haha.....the block leave seems to have passed by so quickly and yet looking back i think i have managed to do so many things dat i wanted to do dat i feel so much like a civilian during my block leave period lol.........
ok so jus a little run through of things before i go to sleep.....
well i have passed out from bmt ready.........in simple words i finish my time in bmt ready.......
POP
ok there was this passing out parade on the september the 11th........good date to remember ah......afterwards terrorists come and bomb tekong on dat date haha.......anyway on the parade day i had to march and run and do alot of drill stuff with my rifle..........we recruits have practiced quite abit for it lol at least like the last 5 days of our bmt were spent practising for the graduation parade which is aka passing out parade........well with all said and done, i must say its really a relief to get off the island called tekong lol........staying there is very boring, especially when u are alone or confined there haha.....i got confined before and dat really crushed whatever high spirits i had so i was quite looking forward to pop cause then i would have a break........(but of course on this date, the break is over ready......i have to go to new unit ready haha.......more on dat later...)
........i must say the break after bmt was very good and refreshing to me, i managed to do ALOT of things, including celebrate my birthday OUTSIDE of camp, OUTSIDE of tekong, the island dat really seems to drive u crazy haha at least to me la........
BLOCK LEAVE
oh yeah block leave is a period of a number of days of break where u can actually be a civilian, or come close to being the civilian dat u were for dat few days.........for me this block leave is a period of break after passing out from bmt, waiting for my next posting to come out......this next posting is where i will be going after bmt, of course haha.........anyway i cant really remember wad i did to spend all my days in exactly but i know dat i woke up late quite a few days, of course i also stayed up late to watch episodes of smallville as well haha.......i can watch the episodes until like 3am then then next day dunno do wad and somehow at nite (as the past few days went) and if possible and im free, i would watch smallville episodes again haha.....good thing i left them to download and run in the background cause my brother, andrew will at least on the comm once a day to check his friendster (i dunno wads the use of dat kinda stuff, i see no meaning anymore...), read his (girl) classmates' blog and stuff like dat.......i cant really say anything about him to him la cos if i do he will give me his attitude problem and i will really get so flared up in my head dat i feel like punching him man........oh wells one of these days if he really says sumtin dat i cant bear he will get it..............well i managed to finish watching the entire smallville season 2 lol.......(yes yes im quite lagging behind on the shows but something betta than nothing.....)
SISPEC - MY POSTING
well the block leave is to wait for my posting rite.....well i got posted to sispec.........dat stands for the skool of infantry specialists, meaning i will pass out or graduate from it ultimately a sergeant......i must say i was abit disappointed with my posting, not entirely cause i dun mind to try and make it work and make do with wad i have been given........i was disappointed because i somehow wanted to got to OCS, officer cadet skool even though i have heard all about it being so shiong and all but ask me to explain y i wanna go OCS i would tell u i dun really know la, mayb its because of the 'honour and glory' haha LOL, didnt expect it to be so easy to explain.....but yeah i cant really its exactly dat but oh wells i cant be bothered to try la..........anyway so fast forward back to today this day this hour........so i got my posting and like later, 240907, monday i will have to wake up super early like 6am la and then i havta get ready and leave the house to get to pasir labar camp by 8 - 830am la.........sian and i feel shagged ready lol.....anyway im going to sleep now heh....hope this is enough of an update
ok so jus a little run through of things before i go to sleep.....
well i have passed out from bmt ready.........in simple words i finish my time in bmt ready.......
POP
ok there was this passing out parade on the september the 11th........good date to remember ah......afterwards terrorists come and bomb tekong on dat date haha.......anyway on the parade day i had to march and run and do alot of drill stuff with my rifle..........we recruits have practiced quite abit for it lol at least like the last 5 days of our bmt were spent practising for the graduation parade which is aka passing out parade........well with all said and done, i must say its really a relief to get off the island called tekong lol........staying there is very boring, especially when u are alone or confined there haha.....i got confined before and dat really crushed whatever high spirits i had so i was quite looking forward to pop cause then i would have a break........(but of course on this date, the break is over ready......i have to go to new unit ready haha.......more on dat later...)
........i must say the break after bmt was very good and refreshing to me, i managed to do ALOT of things, including celebrate my birthday OUTSIDE of camp, OUTSIDE of tekong, the island dat really seems to drive u crazy haha at least to me la........
BLOCK LEAVE
oh yeah block leave is a period of a number of days of break where u can actually be a civilian, or come close to being the civilian dat u were for dat few days.........for me this block leave is a period of break after passing out from bmt, waiting for my next posting to come out......this next posting is where i will be going after bmt, of course haha.........anyway i cant really remember wad i did to spend all my days in exactly but i know dat i woke up late quite a few days, of course i also stayed up late to watch episodes of smallville as well haha.......i can watch the episodes until like 3am then then next day dunno do wad and somehow at nite (as the past few days went) and if possible and im free, i would watch smallville episodes again haha.....good thing i left them to download and run in the background cause my brother, andrew will at least on the comm once a day to check his friendster (i dunno wads the use of dat kinda stuff, i see no meaning anymore...), read his (girl) classmates' blog and stuff like dat.......i cant really say anything about him to him la cos if i do he will give me his attitude problem and i will really get so flared up in my head dat i feel like punching him man........oh wells one of these days if he really says sumtin dat i cant bear he will get it..............well i managed to finish watching the entire smallville season 2 lol.......(yes yes im quite lagging behind on the shows but something betta than nothing.....)
SISPEC - MY POSTING
well the block leave is to wait for my posting rite.....well i got posted to sispec.........dat stands for the skool of infantry specialists, meaning i will pass out or graduate from it ultimately a sergeant......i must say i was abit disappointed with my posting, not entirely cause i dun mind to try and make it work and make do with wad i have been given........i was disappointed because i somehow wanted to got to OCS, officer cadet skool even though i have heard all about it being so shiong and all but ask me to explain y i wanna go OCS i would tell u i dun really know la, mayb its because of the 'honour and glory' haha LOL, didnt expect it to be so easy to explain.....but yeah i cant really its exactly dat but oh wells i cant be bothered to try la..........anyway so fast forward back to today this day this hour........so i got my posting and like later, 240907, monday i will have to wake up super early like 6am la and then i havta get ready and leave the house to get to pasir labar camp by 8 - 830am la.........sian and i feel shagged ready lol.....anyway im going to sleep now heh....hope this is enough of an update
Saturday, September 1
confinement
here i am alone in the bunk.....alone in the company (with the exception of the company orderly sergeant).......alone in my whole cluster of companies around my company block.......big Big sighs!......i could have avoided this and all but since it has happened, i jus havta suck thumb and take my punishment as a man......(i cant find the paper dat i wrote a long whole thing on so i guess this is all i will be back-posting, all this @ 23rd March 2008)
Sunday, August 19
no time
im sorry for all those who keep coming to my blog only to find its not been updated..........
i was typing a post but i haven finished it and the weekends when i book out the time is too short for me to finish my post heh.....anyway an update is coming soon, when i next book out or sumtin la.....rite now i havta rush outta the house cause i havta book in at 1930 later.............and now im going for dinner with my parents........
so yeah update next time....sorry guys........see you all at army day most probably haha........
i was typing a post but i haven finished it and the weekends when i book out the time is too short for me to finish my post heh.....anyway an update is coming soon, when i next book out or sumtin la.....rite now i havta rush outta the house cause i havta book in at 1930 later.............and now im going for dinner with my parents........
so yeah update next time....sorry guys........see you all at army day most probably haha........
Saturday, August 18
mind full and brain washed
it always seems to be about the mind ah.....ok ok i will change when i do happen to think of some other blog post title........i think its about time i posted abit on my blog or else my blog will be quite dormant for quite a long long while lol.......
so now yes i'm in the service (or slavery) of the nation.........i guess there is a reason y they call it the ns liability lol.......anyway about 2 yrs of my time would be spent in the army lol......1 yr 10 mths to be exact but it jus seems longer when ur inside haha.......
anyway now for the thing i would be posting about......quite a few ppl have asked me the standard question "how is ns?" and actually to be honest, i dun really noe how to reply lol.........i would jus say "oh....ok lol......shagged...." cause i really dunno wad else to say! to be honest i dun really remember (nor do i wish to remember wad i've done in the army) when i book out dat is........
hmm ok mayb i give a brief summary of wad 'we' do i the army or wad i can remember rather.........we all wake up quite early compared to other ppl in the work force i guess (dat was random) but yeah we all wake up at 0530 and normally do 5 bx at 0545 then go for breakfast at 0600 lol......see im brain washed ready and i cant say i really like the feeling lol.......everyday we have different training stuff to do la..........one thing is dat my bunk level is the top floor which is the 5th storey and we all havta climb up and down the stairs dozens of times a day to get stuff, change attire, keep rifles in our cupboards, area cleaning and whatever nonsense reason which requires us to get to our bunks lol.............besides dat we have other physical training and stuff like standard obstacle course (SOC), aggregate group run (AGR), 60-120 runs (where u sprint for 60 secs and then jog for 120 secs), static exercises and alot of other stuff which i cant really remember to train up our physical body condition, not to mention the pumping and punishment we do when someone is late or does something stupid.........
i cant really remember much of wad we do in tekong la cos im tired most of the time, i think 7 hours of sleep a day is not enough for me la.......ok mayb i would say i normally get less than 7 hrs cos i sleep slightly later than normal ppl cos i am somehow doing some things at nite before lights out (as they call it).....then when there is lights out, im probably still bathing and all......ok jus a few minutes at most la, not much difference.......but besides being shagged from the day's training, i'm more tired cos i try to wake up about an hour or so earlier to do my quiet time before i start the day lol.......shagged man.......so cos of the tiredness and mayb the training is jus training -- jus routine and wadever not, i dun really remember much of wad i have done in the island called tekong............
ok onto how i feel about being in ns.........firstly i must say i miss my freedom as a civilian ALOT.........there were so many things dat i did before i enlisted dat i really miss lol......its kinda duh la, wont everyone who has gone into the army think so? unless the person is someone who enjoys the army and its system lol..........for me before coming into the army i thought it would be ok for me cos i thot it was jus training and all...........but i guess it is not wad i expected, i was shocked for abit when i first entered the service of the nation as they so fondly call it, for the first week or so i guess........but after dat i adjusted to the system, and the way things worked.........but i was still very much affected by the lack of morality and the vulgar vocabulary that is so rampant in every platoon lol.....the f word is like so easy to come out.......f this that f ing that.......haiz it really makes me quite sad to see this happening........i wish it would jus end.............and dat ppl can jus talk nicely without using vulgarities like its nothing.....well actually to them i think they dun think much about it but it still reflects some things about their background...........i guess its the norm to say vulgarities if not its like the you are not normal and its definite dat u would stick out like a sore thumb among almost everyone (including some christians i know) scolding vulgarities........dunno how to describe it but it seems wierd to say the least to not use any vulgarities.......sometimes u jus get influenced by them and then the first thing dat pops into mind for u when describing someone bad or when u feel like scolding someone (feel onli, it means onli in ur thoughts u want to scold someone...) is the f word at times............well sometimes onli la, actually i dun really noe wad im typing and y im typing it cos i first started this post one week ago la, so many things have happened during this week and stuff like dat already so dun blame me for my discontinuedness........
every time i book out, i feel as if every thing outside seems different lol, either dat or mayb im the one dat has changed....i dunno how to explain it but..........its like the songs i used to be comfortable listening to has somehow changed, whether it is christian or secular songs i dun seem to enjoy it the way i did before i went into army.........even the way i worship and sing praises seem different starting from the inside out.......my heart feels different and besides the obvious literal reason for my singing being different (my voice sounds different now from all the mindless shouting in camp), songs jus dun impact me the way they did before i enlisted........so many things i dunnno or im unsure of........i think zhi wen is rite, when i put on the helmet i think i lost half of my brains, cant really think or process information dat well, i've been brain-washed to think in the regimentation kinda way......and brains is not the onli thing i lost............i feel so detached from everything in the real world, detached emotionally from everyone else cos its like every time i book out, the only ppl i spend decent amount of time with is my family -- my parents mainly.....everytime i come out there is onli time to give them my dirty clothes to wash and then i would go to sleep most of the time i book, no time for anything else like blogging or even coming online much.........its mostly jus rest and food and mayb at most attending yf and church............besides all that i miss my hair strangely but yes i do and mayb wad i miss most is the freedom and really so much free time i had as a civilian.........
oh wells i guess enough has been said, i cant think much ready, im tired and im going to sleep ready....here is an update for ppl who read my blog..........
so now yes i'm in the service (or slavery) of the nation.........i guess there is a reason y they call it the ns liability lol.......anyway about 2 yrs of my time would be spent in the army lol......1 yr 10 mths to be exact but it jus seems longer when ur inside haha.......
anyway now for the thing i would be posting about......quite a few ppl have asked me the standard question "how is ns?" and actually to be honest, i dun really noe how to reply lol.........i would jus say "oh....ok lol......shagged...." cause i really dunno wad else to say! to be honest i dun really remember (nor do i wish to remember wad i've done in the army) when i book out dat is........
hmm ok mayb i give a brief summary of wad 'we' do i the army or wad i can remember rather.........we all wake up quite early compared to other ppl in the work force i guess (dat was random) but yeah we all wake up at 0530 and normally do 5 bx at 0545 then go for breakfast at 0600 lol......see im brain washed ready and i cant say i really like the feeling lol.......everyday we have different training stuff to do la..........one thing is dat my bunk level is the top floor which is the 5th storey and we all havta climb up and down the stairs dozens of times a day to get stuff, change attire, keep rifles in our cupboards, area cleaning and whatever nonsense reason which requires us to get to our bunks lol.............besides dat we have other physical training and stuff like standard obstacle course (SOC), aggregate group run (AGR), 60-120 runs (where u sprint for 60 secs and then jog for 120 secs), static exercises and alot of other stuff which i cant really remember to train up our physical body condition, not to mention the pumping and punishment we do when someone is late or does something stupid.........
i cant really remember much of wad we do in tekong la cos im tired most of the time, i think 7 hours of sleep a day is not enough for me la.......ok mayb i would say i normally get less than 7 hrs cos i sleep slightly later than normal ppl cos i am somehow doing some things at nite before lights out (as they call it).....then when there is lights out, im probably still bathing and all......ok jus a few minutes at most la, not much difference.......but besides being shagged from the day's training, i'm more tired cos i try to wake up about an hour or so earlier to do my quiet time before i start the day lol.......shagged man.......so cos of the tiredness and mayb the training is jus training -- jus routine and wadever not, i dun really remember much of wad i have done in the island called tekong............
ok onto how i feel about being in ns.........firstly i must say i miss my freedom as a civilian ALOT.........there were so many things dat i did before i enlisted dat i really miss lol......its kinda duh la, wont everyone who has gone into the army think so? unless the person is someone who enjoys the army and its system lol..........for me before coming into the army i thought it would be ok for me cos i thot it was jus training and all...........but i guess it is not wad i expected, i was shocked for abit when i first entered the service of the nation as they so fondly call it, for the first week or so i guess........but after dat i adjusted to the system, and the way things worked.........but i was still very much affected by the lack of morality and the vulgar vocabulary that is so rampant in every platoon lol.....the f word is like so easy to come out.......f this that f ing that.......haiz it really makes me quite sad to see this happening........i wish it would jus end.............and dat ppl can jus talk nicely without using vulgarities like its nothing.....well actually to them i think they dun think much about it but it still reflects some things about their background...........i guess its the norm to say vulgarities if not its like the you are not normal and its definite dat u would stick out like a sore thumb among almost everyone (including some christians i know) scolding vulgarities........dunno how to describe it but it seems wierd to say the least to not use any vulgarities.......sometimes u jus get influenced by them and then the first thing dat pops into mind for u when describing someone bad or when u feel like scolding someone (feel onli, it means onli in ur thoughts u want to scold someone...) is the f word at times............well sometimes onli la, actually i dun really noe wad im typing and y im typing it cos i first started this post one week ago la, so many things have happened during this week and stuff like dat already so dun blame me for my discontinuedness........
every time i book out, i feel as if every thing outside seems different lol, either dat or mayb im the one dat has changed....i dunno how to explain it but..........its like the songs i used to be comfortable listening to has somehow changed, whether it is christian or secular songs i dun seem to enjoy it the way i did before i went into army.........even the way i worship and sing praises seem different starting from the inside out.......my heart feels different and besides the obvious literal reason for my singing being different (my voice sounds different now from all the mindless shouting in camp), songs jus dun impact me the way they did before i enlisted........so many things i dunnno or im unsure of........i think zhi wen is rite, when i put on the helmet i think i lost half of my brains, cant really think or process information dat well, i've been brain-washed to think in the regimentation kinda way......and brains is not the onli thing i lost............i feel so detached from everything in the real world, detached emotionally from everyone else cos its like every time i book out, the only ppl i spend decent amount of time with is my family -- my parents mainly.....everytime i come out there is onli time to give them my dirty clothes to wash and then i would go to sleep most of the time i book, no time for anything else like blogging or even coming online much.........its mostly jus rest and food and mayb at most attending yf and church............besides all that i miss my hair strangely but yes i do and mayb wad i miss most is the freedom and really so much free time i had as a civilian.........
oh wells i guess enough has been said, i cant think much ready, im tired and im going to sleep ready....here is an update for ppl who read my blog..........
Wednesday, July 11
words from the mind
heh wierd post title eh.......but oh wells im jus lazy to think of anything else....
anyway jus some perhaps random thots in my mind rite now.........well im going to ns this friday and ppl have been asking me if im dreading the experience or looking forward to it and i will go with the standard ok lol answer which is wad i feel lol haha........cause no natural person would look forward to ns lol, come on no matter how close u feel to ur family and wadever connections in the outside world, im sure most of the men who have completed ns or have some experience of ns in singapore would agree dat its betta to be out than in lol.........the onli thing i look forward to for ns is to enjoy myself there (have a good company, good job promotion status (i'm not even sure if i will be signing on or not but dats still to be considered, based on the circumstances lol), good pay etc)...........i dun dread the coming time in ns cause its 'ok la' for me.........its jus physical training (and mayb abit of bad company spouting nonsense and stuff) and all to me la, im ok with physical training la........the government pays u every month to work out (and be totured and wad not haha), looking on the bright side the physical training seems to me like wad i can take, wad i can endure, its jus the repercussions like me being tired from it and some other things i dun wanna mention -- the things i've been brooding about and for now its recently solved (see the previous post for of an idea)...............etc..........i really need discipline to make time for God i guess, haha being a person dat likes to sleep heh...........hmm also about my bunk mates etc, i wonder if the frenships with them will be like wad its been for me throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary education years, like i noe them but somehow i am not close to them, we hardly get to talk about serious things and stuff, mayb its because i probably might not join them in many activities dat they like to do (for example onli) like kbox, pool, bowling........i might not enjoy myself as much with them cause i mayb dun relate as well to the company of frens as compared to church frens whom i have gotten to noe for years and the level of being comfortable is there and u can really be urself, be crazy and nobody will fault u about it cause it u haha.............oh wells on a side note i feel restricted by wad ppl think sometimes esp ppl i dunno well, u cant jus say wadever u want or do wadever u feel like doing without being judged by dat other person lol (not dat their judgement matters to me at all but its jus the fact dat u will be judged if u do something out of place or say sumtin out of line)........mayb dats y i keep quiet sometimes? doesnt matter if i seem muter (as someone told me before) i'm comfortable keeping quiet so dat it seems i dun have an opinion about the things ppl are saying but sometimes i jus keep my opinions to myself.......so dat i would not look, appear or seem to be strange, wierd and out of place (which i do not feel much anywhere, because im happy being alone in a crowd, sounds wierd but i dunno how else to describe it)
ok la enough about ns la........now like quite sad everyone talk onli talk to me about ns........like its some impending doom lol haha.......it goes like "hey daniel wad u doing now?" "... oh i finish poly ready, waiting for ns ...." "oh i see, when ah?" "... erhm 13th july, friday" "friday the 13th! lol hahah.....enjoy ah(or sometimes its good luck)"............lol i think i've had dat conversation so many times i cant even remember who i had them with lol.........but after dats said, i feel kinda glad dat ppl are concerned about me sometimes, its not as if im suffering from a serious lack of concern from anyone (afterall i have a Heavenly Father who cares so much about every bit of my life, isnt dat enough?).....well but its nice to have more ppl concerned..........
once again once dats said and done, i wonder if dat concern is one dat stays or if its jus the rite thing to say and do at the moment......oh wells onli time will tell so i dun need to worry about this kinda pointless things dat come to my head when im too free for anything haha.........well well sunday was the last day for a long long time dat ppl will be seeing me with my tail and longer hair haha.......wanted to blog about this on saturday but somehow something kept me away from using the comm too late..............
i went to watch abit of the last period of wilfred's match on sunday nite........he told me about it and was abit sad dat nobody was going to support him dat nite heh........so since i never watch a real floorball match before i persuaded my family to go tampines for dinner......haiz i wish i had gone there earlier..........if onli i could have cycled.........if only i went to the tampines sports hall earlier then i could have caught more action and also mayb be an encouragement to wilfred as a motivation to play betta heh.....but mayb im onli deluding myself haha, mayb he'll jus play the same jus dat his spirits and morale might have been lifted.........anyway he was really happy i came to support him and watch his match though, i saw it on his face after the game ended.........wilfred's team was some "...rogue" or "...vogue"or sumtin like dat la....they played against some "...squirrels" team la......wilfred's team lost like 4 - 0......which is quite shocking cause wilfred is such a good player, but i guess his team all very small sized wann la, they got eaten by the bigger opponents in the squirrels team..........wilfred told me dats y he had to go in harder while defending his opponents..........i dun really respect the squirrels team even though they won, cause their attitude and sportmanship was not really very good la.....when the opposing team got a bench penalty or was the cause for a free hit their team would jeer at their opponents, calling them names and wad not..............so noisy la, typical muhds haiz.......but they still won a clean sheet summore, wad to do............life is unfair at times....
now i talk abit about today........today, aunty lily, elizabeth, joanne and i went out for dinner haha.......we went all the way to buena vista for dinner lol........i think it was supposed to be for lizzy's birthday and a farewell for me to ns.......but it dragged and we were supposed to have lunch on sunday but aunty lily had sumtin on (and so very typical of her at dat haha but oh wells she is aunty lily, dats descriptive enough of her hurhur).......so it ended up on today lol........buena vista is abit far for me lol.......and i like suah gu like dat, i've never even gone there before la.........like i dun really noe where is holland v which is near there......as a sri lankan fren of mine said before, there is hardly any singaporean who has gone to every part of singapore before, while he boasted dat he visited all parts of india or sumtin like dat la......he said it in spite and i think he is quite an idiot thinking but ok moving on........we went to settler's cafe, i have heard quite nice things about the place in general and now today i finally get to actually try it haha.........firstly the space is very very small, if only it were bigger and jus as cosy then i guess there would be so many more customers and stuff..........the food there is quite limited i must say but i guess that place is more for its games......the owners probably spend more of their finances getting the latest games and stuff like dat instead of buffing up the menu with steaks and wjat have you la hahaha..........aunty lily and joanne has cajun chicken which was ok la, they gave me rather huge portions to try lol! well aunty lily gave me large portions to try, joanne gave me abit also cause she didnt finish.........lizzy ate some chicken sandwich i guess, she gave me one portion of it also cause she couldnt finish........girls ah forever eat so little lol, going out to eat with them at expensive places helps alot when ur a guy lol cause can jus eat the great food they order (eh come to think of it now, our sets came with ice-cream! but they didnt give us!! and i was supposed to have mashed potatoes with my set! which wasnt there! haiz i feel abit cheated but its ok i guess, we had alot of fun, if onli we had more time)..........we played like 3 games haha quite fun heh, we started off with taboo (haha! i suddenly remembered joey and lizzy playing it haha.......lizzy was describing to joey "wad do u need when u drink too much alcohol?" and joey straightaway guess "...liver cycerosis..." like LOL la she is a med student see but its so funny cause the word joey was supposed to guess was rehab HAHA!) and then we played mad gab which was a pronounciation game.......woah man......dat was very hard to play cause it was like they give u some words (which make no sense at all) to pronounce and ur supposed to pronounce them quickly and try to form a word or a phrase like "canned egg my highs of eu" or sumtin like dat la is supposed to be "cant take my eyes off you".......we're allowed to give hints and all but its still hard.......then we played bang! haha joey and i taught aunty lily and lizzy how to play it heh.......and it quite amusing to see a woman in her 50s learning how to play a game like bang lol.......but anyway we had fun with the first timers haha, joey was the sheriff and she ended up killing her own vice, who was lizzy, who happened to take damage from the dynamite dat joey put out heh.......we played it with the expansion pack so we had like a mountain of cards in the deck.........the expansion is green in colour, quite nice, and the characters they have at settlers were like uber many la........so many never see before lol......we didnt finish the game of bang cause they all had to go so yeah ok la not too bad for the first time...........we wanted to play another game as well called marriage material which sounded quite interesting lol but no time......hurhur mayb next time when i can book out lol, we go holland v there and play games hahaha...........after dat we had a short time of prayer in aunty lily's car......i thank God for joey and lizzy's frenship.........in more ways than i can express i guess......i do thank God for aunty lily as well.....too many things la haha......
oh yeah i must also say dat the prayer thing in my last post didnt exactly come out the way i meant it to come out lol........i dunno how else to describe it but it jus came out very crude and wad not to me la........mayb i shouldnt have put this on my blog.........but then how then? are there any other ways to find out the answer? mayb i put it on my blog in a moment of folly, i didnt noe wad i was doing, mayb the reason i did it was wrong.....
(mumbles, mayb i've been thinking too much of wad my father said about it....i dun even noe if its reliable or not, mayb depending on circumstances and stuff like dat la......etc)
......haiz these are all the musings on my part.........i keep thinking i shouldnt have put it on but wad to do? probably literal dozens haven seen it since its the 'latest' post in my blog...........aiya dun care.......i apologise to everyone if the content of my last post was too misleading /disturbing to you..........i dunno wad to say cause wads done is done, please forgive me and jus take it dat i didnt type anything there......sorry.......
anyway for those who have already said yes, i urge u all to reconsider and all......if u really think u can or cannot do it, seeing its an everyday thing and all.......jus let me noe of your final decision and even if no one respond to this prayer thing or even if alot of ppl respond to this prayer thing, it doesnt really matter to me, it wont really make me any much happier or any much sadder, whatever it is i will jus accept it.....im done worrying about things dat i cannot really control and its about due time i learnt how to really trust God for everything......after all looking back i think He has been there all the time, whether i notice or remember or not........i shouldnt box God up to be so small dat He cant work mightily in my life, in whatever areas it is..........haiz enough of dat....
oh yeah its been a long post which i have started since yesterday 10/7/07 (since im jus lazy to change all the 'todays' jus take it dat today in this post means 10/7/07 ok? thanks).......anyway i'm jus grateful for every one of you who visit my blog......thank you all for reading this long post...sorry its so long, i tend to ramble alot......
i think i had enough for the nite, time to reply tags:
jon chua : its true sometimes.........recently in main service we sung a song dat i liked cause of the lyrics, but it sounded abit off to me cause we sung it very much slower than when i was first introduced to the song......i guess it varies with ppl la taste and the song as well......
jon lee : hmm but u must give the contemporary christian music the credit dat even though there is hardly any difference from secular music, the difference is there, no matter how subtle it may seem, in the lyrics etc.....huh? its not whether i would like u to or not.......its up to u la......if you would like to, jus let me noe lol.........
christina : hey erhm....u are christina lim rite? (if im not wrong, my mind is in quite a whirl now, sorry if i got it wrong)......the primary 5 one in yf? anyway thanks.....but its everyday leh......do consider and let me noe k? thanks so much.......
204/1
anyway jus some perhaps random thots in my mind rite now.........well im going to ns this friday and ppl have been asking me if im dreading the experience or looking forward to it and i will go with the standard ok lol answer which is wad i feel lol haha........cause no natural person would look forward to ns lol, come on no matter how close u feel to ur family and wadever connections in the outside world, im sure most of the men who have completed ns or have some experience of ns in singapore would agree dat its betta to be out than in lol.........the onli thing i look forward to for ns is to enjoy myself there (have a good company, good job promotion status (i'm not even sure if i will be signing on or not but dats still to be considered, based on the circumstances lol), good pay etc)...........i dun dread the coming time in ns cause its 'ok la' for me.........its jus physical training (and mayb abit of bad company spouting nonsense and stuff) and all to me la, im ok with physical training la........the government pays u every month to work out (and be totured and wad not haha), looking on the bright side the physical training seems to me like wad i can take, wad i can endure, its jus the repercussions like me being tired from it and some other things i dun wanna mention -- the things i've been brooding about and for now its recently solved (see the previous post for of an idea)...............etc..........i really need discipline to make time for God i guess, haha being a person dat likes to sleep heh...........hmm also about my bunk mates etc, i wonder if the frenships with them will be like wad its been for me throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary education years, like i noe them but somehow i am not close to them, we hardly get to talk about serious things and stuff, mayb its because i probably might not join them in many activities dat they like to do (for example onli) like kbox, pool, bowling........i might not enjoy myself as much with them cause i mayb dun relate as well to the company of frens as compared to church frens whom i have gotten to noe for years and the level of being comfortable is there and u can really be urself, be crazy and nobody will fault u about it cause it u haha.............oh wells on a side note i feel restricted by wad ppl think sometimes esp ppl i dunno well, u cant jus say wadever u want or do wadever u feel like doing without being judged by dat other person lol (not dat their judgement matters to me at all but its jus the fact dat u will be judged if u do something out of place or say sumtin out of line)........mayb dats y i keep quiet sometimes? doesnt matter if i seem muter (as someone told me before) i'm comfortable keeping quiet so dat it seems i dun have an opinion about the things ppl are saying but sometimes i jus keep my opinions to myself.......so dat i would not look, appear or seem to be strange, wierd and out of place (which i do not feel much anywhere, because im happy being alone in a crowd, sounds wierd but i dunno how else to describe it)
ok la enough about ns la........now like quite sad everyone talk onli talk to me about ns........like its some impending doom lol haha.......it goes like "hey daniel wad u doing now?" "... oh i finish poly ready, waiting for ns ...." "oh i see, when ah?" "... erhm 13th july, friday" "friday the 13th! lol hahah.....enjoy ah(or sometimes its good luck)"............lol i think i've had dat conversation so many times i cant even remember who i had them with lol.........but after dats said, i feel kinda glad dat ppl are concerned about me sometimes, its not as if im suffering from a serious lack of concern from anyone (afterall i have a Heavenly Father who cares so much about every bit of my life, isnt dat enough?).....well but its nice to have more ppl concerned..........
once again once dats said and done, i wonder if dat concern is one dat stays or if its jus the rite thing to say and do at the moment......oh wells onli time will tell so i dun need to worry about this kinda pointless things dat come to my head when im too free for anything haha.........well well sunday was the last day for a long long time dat ppl will be seeing me with my tail and longer hair haha.......wanted to blog about this on saturday but somehow something kept me away from using the comm too late..............
i went to watch abit of the last period of wilfred's match on sunday nite........he told me about it and was abit sad dat nobody was going to support him dat nite heh........so since i never watch a real floorball match before i persuaded my family to go tampines for dinner......haiz i wish i had gone there earlier..........if onli i could have cycled.........if only i went to the tampines sports hall earlier then i could have caught more action and also mayb be an encouragement to wilfred as a motivation to play betta heh.....but mayb im onli deluding myself haha, mayb he'll jus play the same jus dat his spirits and morale might have been lifted.........anyway he was really happy i came to support him and watch his match though, i saw it on his face after the game ended.........wilfred's team was some "...rogue" or "...vogue"or sumtin like dat la....they played against some "...squirrels" team la......wilfred's team lost like 4 - 0......which is quite shocking cause wilfred is such a good player, but i guess his team all very small sized wann la, they got eaten by the bigger opponents in the squirrels team..........wilfred told me dats y he had to go in harder while defending his opponents..........i dun really respect the squirrels team even though they won, cause their attitude and sportmanship was not really very good la.....when the opposing team got a bench penalty or was the cause for a free hit their team would jeer at their opponents, calling them names and wad not..............so noisy la, typical muhds haiz.......but they still won a clean sheet summore, wad to do............life is unfair at times....
now i talk abit about today........today, aunty lily, elizabeth, joanne and i went out for dinner haha.......we went all the way to buena vista for dinner lol........i think it was supposed to be for lizzy's birthday and a farewell for me to ns.......but it dragged and we were supposed to have lunch on sunday but aunty lily had sumtin on (and so very typical of her at dat haha but oh wells she is aunty lily, dats descriptive enough of her hurhur).......so it ended up on today lol........buena vista is abit far for me lol.......and i like suah gu like dat, i've never even gone there before la.........like i dun really noe where is holland v which is near there......as a sri lankan fren of mine said before, there is hardly any singaporean who has gone to every part of singapore before, while he boasted dat he visited all parts of india or sumtin like dat la......he said it in spite and i think he is quite an idiot thinking but ok moving on........we went to settler's cafe, i have heard quite nice things about the place in general and now today i finally get to actually try it haha.........firstly the space is very very small, if only it were bigger and jus as cosy then i guess there would be so many more customers and stuff..........the food there is quite limited i must say but i guess that place is more for its games......the owners probably spend more of their finances getting the latest games and stuff like dat instead of buffing up the menu with steaks and wjat have you la hahaha..........aunty lily and joanne has cajun chicken which was ok la, they gave me rather huge portions to try lol! well aunty lily gave me large portions to try, joanne gave me abit also cause she didnt finish.........lizzy ate some chicken sandwich i guess, she gave me one portion of it also cause she couldnt finish........girls ah forever eat so little lol, going out to eat with them at expensive places helps alot when ur a guy lol cause can jus eat the great food they order (eh come to think of it now, our sets came with ice-cream! but they didnt give us!! and i was supposed to have mashed potatoes with my set! which wasnt there! haiz i feel abit cheated but its ok i guess, we had alot of fun, if onli we had more time)..........we played like 3 games haha quite fun heh, we started off with taboo (haha! i suddenly remembered joey and lizzy playing it haha.......lizzy was describing to joey "wad do u need when u drink too much alcohol?" and joey straightaway guess "...liver cycerosis..." like LOL la she is a med student see but its so funny cause the word joey was supposed to guess was rehab HAHA!) and then we played mad gab which was a pronounciation game.......woah man......dat was very hard to play cause it was like they give u some words (which make no sense at all) to pronounce and ur supposed to pronounce them quickly and try to form a word or a phrase like "canned egg my highs of eu" or sumtin like dat la is supposed to be "cant take my eyes off you".......we're allowed to give hints and all but its still hard.......then we played bang! haha joey and i taught aunty lily and lizzy how to play it heh.......and it quite amusing to see a woman in her 50s learning how to play a game like bang lol.......but anyway we had fun with the first timers haha, joey was the sheriff and she ended up killing her own vice, who was lizzy, who happened to take damage from the dynamite dat joey put out heh.......we played it with the expansion pack so we had like a mountain of cards in the deck.........the expansion is green in colour, quite nice, and the characters they have at settlers were like uber many la........so many never see before lol......we didnt finish the game of bang cause they all had to go so yeah ok la not too bad for the first time...........we wanted to play another game as well called marriage material which sounded quite interesting lol but no time......hurhur mayb next time when i can book out lol, we go holland v there and play games hahaha...........after dat we had a short time of prayer in aunty lily's car......i thank God for joey and lizzy's frenship.........in more ways than i can express i guess......i do thank God for aunty lily as well.....too many things la haha......
oh yeah i must also say dat the prayer thing in my last post didnt exactly come out the way i meant it to come out lol........i dunno how else to describe it but it jus came out very crude and wad not to me la........mayb i shouldnt have put this on my blog.........but then how then? are there any other ways to find out the answer? mayb i put it on my blog in a moment of folly, i didnt noe wad i was doing, mayb the reason i did it was wrong.....
(mumbles, mayb i've been thinking too much of wad my father said about it....i dun even noe if its reliable or not, mayb depending on circumstances and stuff like dat la......etc)
......haiz these are all the musings on my part.........i keep thinking i shouldnt have put it on but wad to do? probably literal dozens haven seen it since its the 'latest' post in my blog...........aiya dun care.......i apologise to everyone if the content of my last post was too misleading /disturbing to you..........i dunno wad to say cause wads done is done, please forgive me and jus take it dat i didnt type anything there......sorry.......
anyway for those who have already said yes, i urge u all to reconsider and all......if u really think u can or cannot do it, seeing its an everyday thing and all.......jus let me noe of your final decision and even if no one respond to this prayer thing or even if alot of ppl respond to this prayer thing, it doesnt really matter to me, it wont really make me any much happier or any much sadder, whatever it is i will jus accept it.....im done worrying about things dat i cannot really control and its about due time i learnt how to really trust God for everything......after all looking back i think He has been there all the time, whether i notice or remember or not........i shouldnt box God up to be so small dat He cant work mightily in my life, in whatever areas it is..........haiz enough of dat....
oh yeah its been a long post which i have started since yesterday 10/7/07 (since im jus lazy to change all the 'todays' jus take it dat today in this post means 10/7/07 ok? thanks).......anyway i'm jus grateful for every one of you who visit my blog......thank you all for reading this long post...sorry its so long, i tend to ramble alot......
i think i had enough for the nite, time to reply tags:
jon chua : its true sometimes.........recently in main service we sung a song dat i liked cause of the lyrics, but it sounded abit off to me cause we sung it very much slower than when i was first introduced to the song......i guess it varies with ppl la taste and the song as well......
jon lee : hmm but u must give the contemporary christian music the credit dat even though there is hardly any difference from secular music, the difference is there, no matter how subtle it may seem, in the lyrics etc.....huh? its not whether i would like u to or not.......its up to u la......if you would like to, jus let me noe lol.........
christina : hey erhm....u are christina lim rite? (if im not wrong, my mind is in quite a whirl now, sorry if i got it wrong)......the primary 5 one in yf? anyway thanks.....but its everyday leh......do consider and let me noe k? thanks so much.......
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