50/1 feeling lousy

well its been a long time since i last posted? haha...i woke up early n came to skool today....i went fer a swim (which im quite satisfied with....)....i swam quite abit (to me dat is)..i swam like 1km n 100m......o k, e rest of wad i'm thinking is quite lousy stuff about myself...not sure how much i should reveal, in case i jus affect ur mood...lets jus say i went to e gym again todayyy......ok la i wont berate myself so much cos im quite tired now.....

i feel so small sized la....not to mention weak all dat.....wonder how come a stack of weights is able to affect me so much....goes to show how much i actually allow it to affect my mood so much....jus feel lousy la...seem like i cant do as many reps for e same weight....or some weights dat i used to do i couldnt quite do it.....n i seemed to forget alot (long time since i stepped into e gym)......after swimming, my nose has been runny.....i think e reason y dis is happening is either im getting FAT(which i think i am) OR im jus tired from e swim n lack of sleep coupled with e lousy feeling of running nose...i SO hope its e latter lol....cant stand myself being fat la....

sorry i complained enuf....lets see i've been working....switching jobs here n there mainly cuz of e pay la....now im stuck with working at some research company, official title would be surveyor i guess...e pay is quite pathetic lol....much more misely(is there such a word? i noe there is but is it spelt correctly?) than e pan pacific banquet waiter job(where i havta work my guts out, but at least since e hours are long, i get more pay at e end of e day)....e onli problem is dat i really cant stand ONE of e managers....for nuttin scold ppl, vulgarities all dat la so i quitt then lol...

oh yeah as i was saying im stuck now cos i havta give e company one week's notice before i can quit la...so i hope 2 quit by e end of dis working week which happens to be tml....well at least i can save up abit for wad i wanna buy (which really isnt much, im quite content)...hmm how about a cheap guitar so (my brother n) i can practice...i will master One Last Breath by Creed soon i hope....mmm n also sumtin i can listen to....im thinking of a Creative product...zen, zen micro, muvo2 fm, zen neon all dat la.......anyone happen to noe e price jus let me noe by phone or word of mouth k?

49/2 The One Thing

Paul Colman - The One Thing
From the album Let It Go

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
It’s valley’s and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here
Oh that brought me here

I’ve questioned my reasons
The life I’m living
I’ve questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I’ve questioned all the things
that I’ve ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

Chorus:
But the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like you say you do
Yea the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like you say you do
Hold me Hold me
So Hold me

Well I’ve questioned my significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I’m doing really matter at all?
Well I’ve questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Chorus: (2x’s)

Only one thing doesn’t change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is your love remains

Chorus: (2x’s)

49/1 working on sunday?

well yess im working on a sunday...rather tired n all.....most importantly oso thinking about wad im doing here all dat and y im working on a sunday all dat....must really question my motives mann....well i'll continue to post longer later.....(dis was meant to be published last last sunday but gott no time then i forgot about it oh wells.....)

48/1 mmm..

well im in e office again...but at dis time onli me and my mum is in 'our' department lol....almost total freedom.....still trying to load klove to listen but oh wells its like not working lol....i give up...mayb i'll try again later or sumtin....

oh hmm im now quite bored n bothered....well abit onli la...cant say it is like last time dat much la....klove finally managed to load!! hopefully it will cheer me up lots....should start working....well think i'll post summore later

47/1 sumtin short

well sorry to all those who hav been visiting my blog time and again and found dat i haven been updating it...sorry la i dun normally use internet at home n all...n i hav been rather busy slacking, playing comm at home n half heartedly looking for a part time job...

well i guess i looked for too many jobs ready...so many offers lol...well i cant really blog now...supposed to be working, doing data entry but oh wells...for u all i will risk abit haha....altho im working in a company where my aunt is my e onli immediate boss around...they're all like talking together by the way...like after lunch hours is slack talk for awhile b4 working again haha....oh yeah my mum is working part time here too...

well i gott quite a few thots in my head rite now but if i share it i will havta spend more time thinking about it than actually doing my work dat im supposed to do lol....so yeah...hmm i will be working throughout dis weekend as well....well i hope its onli for dis weekend even tho e pay is quite attractive.....so yeah justa let u noe i wont be in church dis weekend lol...i should stop posting rite about here...till next time...thanx for visiting my blog!

46/1 everything's over now

well i had my presentation jus now....officially skool started at 3pm(and ended at e normal time, about 5pm..)....cos lessons were either cancelled or there were jus no more lessons to attend ready(normally i start skool at 10am lol)...so slack la....i called e ppl dat sold me e harddisk dis morning....they said dat they sent it to PENANG!! can u imagine? lol....but its taking incredibly long to come back to singapore lol....i so really hope they send e good n repaired harddisk back soon so my new comm can be functional!! i gott a thumbdrive (free!) from my father....so i can store e stuff i wann altho e space isnt very big..256mb...but should be enuf till i start putting huge programs in it.....

ok....about my presentation which was an individual thing....wa madness la....i was VERY jittery and nervous(as with all presentations in front of ppl i dun really noe...).....i was literally nervous until i when i stood straight, my legs were like vibrating la.....i dun think e ppl noticed it cos i stood behind a long lecturer console......can u imagine? i onli prepared my speech like an hour or so before e presentation! obviously i would be nervous cos i didnt prepare enuf rite? well on e whole it went fine, except e lil pauses i made to remember abit of my points, one good thing was i didnt look at my notes at all, i had eye contact with e audience n all but i forgot to smile haha....my teacher praised me for smart dressing(did i say again?? (e last time i had presentation oso lidat) hahaha)....dats all i needed....our teacher is actually quite nice lol....she thinks about stuff for us quite abit, its been quite enjoyable being in her class....

ok after dat i had a interview(a very slack n effortless one)....the teacher was jus asking us if we knew e steps in e labsheets......so easy la....n summore our teacher didnt penalise us if we had any mistakes, he'd give us many chances which we didnt really use haha....it was slack la....now i hav solitaire and spider solitaire on my thumbdrive, i can play whenever i want....instead of yahoo pool which can take quite ALOT of times(trust me, time jus flies la....u think u onli play a few games onlie).....ok dats all for now, lab closing ready haha.....

45/1 crap i have retainers

crap mann i feel so like a baby la....cant really control e flow of saliva in my mouth....always havta suck it back in....its disgusting la....crap...well as some of u might hav known, i put on retainers ready....its a plastic thing with a metal wire in front...its supposed to help keep my teeth in place...n i can onli take it out when i'm having meals or when i'm sleeping haha....quite uncomfortable....well its not pain or wad la....its jus i cant talk normally(pronounciation n all(thanx aunty and joy for disturbing me about my speech o_O) hahaha)... haha after i take it out i feel like i've released lidat hahaha....i feel with my tongue feels abit like wad i see old ppl wear, like dentures.....well my teeth hurt abit after i take out....cos e thing is there is to make my teeth straight lol...abit like e teeth suan.....well im still slacking now.....tml i gott a presentation, its a speech, i havta wear formal again haha....


some random stuff in my head : i'll be leading or facilitating bible study dis week.....i pray dat God will help me to prepare well for it....my fren is coming summore....i'll be leading dis saturday yf with nicole chiang too! haha e planning with her was esp fun cos i ws quite crazy on dat day hahaha im quite sure dis sat's yf will be fun.....im not sure if e songs we chose like runs (or links)well or not...hmm all dis stuff is jus abit of e stuff in my head....its jus random la....i dunno if these mean anything or not so yeah haha....dats all for today....;)

44/1 slackkk

haha wad a big contrast dis week....last week i was siao cheonging project.....dis week i am s slack...its free and easy revision week.....dats e week dat e lecturers give (MAJOR?) hints during lectures on wad to study and wad is coming out fer exams....abit dumb la....cos not really much point of having exams if e students practically noe wad to study....they'll jus study e necessary la....crap......


okaye today early in e morning, I had e IT entrepreneurship presentation....(in fact im still in my formal suit now....(in skool as usual, slackking now!!) ) .....well i thot i would be late at e rate dat i left e house......i remember i prayed to God to help me be early....it turns up i wasnt dat late after all....there was sum1 later than me(but dat doesnt matter)...we had our presentation for 1 and a 1/2 hours leh.....normal groups with a decent business plan onlie had it for less than an hour or sumtin like dat lol...but yeah i guess i am a lousy CEO la.....i didnt manage to chase everyone to hand in all their stuff on time......dis mistake made me and my fren jasline, the director of finance to sorta help them out with their various plans, thus hindering e doing of our own stuff....but on e whole even tho there were miss takes, i thank God dat everything more or less went well and we finished e presentation without much hitches hahaha.....Praise God For dat!


well after dat i had abit of lessons where e lecturer gave a huge TIP!! lol....nonsense....im sure i can almost predict wad questions will be coming out ready......talking about lecturer spotting questions for us!! well after dat i managed to slackkkkk until about 7 la....about 3 hours of jus slacking....well it was fun while it lasted......i shouldnt do too much of dis.....if not when its time to study, i'll be thinking of playing already....oh wells....


oh yeah its been a long time since i last posted, mayb some of u duno....i took out my braces like last friday......e feeling is so goooood!! finally i can feel my teeth without metal.....oh well thanx to e reminder from mayboo getting her teeth crooked, im rather anxious of getting e retainers done up....hahaha well to everyone who is reading dis(bishanite yfers especially), my brothers birthday is coming up......in fact its dis sunday.....i would like u all to keep it hushed up.....dun let him noe anything about it.....im planning 2 plan a mini party for him like those we hav for e more popular ppl's birthday.....would any of u mind chipping in or sumtin for e cake? like mayb a dollar per person? (of course if u all wanna chip in more, i think it would be welcomed) thinking of holding it in e clubhouse...well do let me noe if u r willing to chip in....serene will probably be sending out e msg or sumtin so yeah......jus tell u all 1st..remember keep it from him! im writing here cos my brother doesnt noe and probably wont ever visit my blog, at least for now haha....dats all for now, should go home to.......SLACKKK summore haha till next long post hehe ;)

43/1

well i dunno how many days its been since i lasted posted......im posting now cos i jus felt dat i should post lol.......anyways i've jus finished up ONE of 4 projects due dis week.....its crazy stuff la....so far i've had like 7 projects, one per subject exactly.....n sum subjects still had 2 parts to e project lol....

so far thankfully i've cleared like 4 including today's wann.....I thank God so much dat we are given a study week break to prep for e exams.....if not i'll jus half die for my end of semm exams la....which happened to me for my (mid year) term test lol....almost failed sum papers lol....

well i cant really think of much to post rite now.....my brain is so dead now la.....jus feel like going home to "koon(zZzZzz)".....well till next time till i gott more to lament....o_O

42/1 tyr eeee eddd

I really enjoyed pep(the prayer n evangelism thing i hav in poly) today, it was prayer dis week....i saw ppl dat hardly came for pep lol....can u believe it? we had almost full attendance for pep today.......anws there's dis girl, georgina in my pep group....was talking to her before it started....i was really encouraged by her la.....altho she oso was very busy with her projects n all, she still smiled jus as sweet.....its like any1 could tell she was very happy....i asked her whether she was always dis happy, she said she was.....i felt so encouraged jus by seeing sum1 smile happily lol....i had lotsa things on my mind but she really cheered me up alot.....jus sets me thinking, hav i lost my true joy jus struggling to complete projects n stuff?? is dat all life is all about? i guess not, but a cert matters too much in society today dat i cant seem to find joy persuing it lol...its like its mandatory lol.....but our happiness should be in God rite? dats so hard rite now for me.....

im so shacked mann....supper tirred lol.....i woke up fresh dis morning lol.....(effects of wad a whole days worth of stress can do to u....).....mann i hav so much to do.....communication skills report still pending.....my IT entrepreneurship executive report still not done yet(i haven started it la....n e whole business plan is due on monday n my group members haven sent me everything yet!! lol...im stressed...)......i finished doing 1 project, i made it super easy lol....but at least its workable....

argh Lord help me please.....carrry me thru dis trials and assignments smoothly Lord......help me Lord with my executive summary all dat........"I will be still n noe u are God" dat set me thinking again, does it hav to take dis kinda situations for me to know that God is God?? my faith is weak...Lord help me to trust u more.........

41/1

haha o k......well so far my chatterbox seems to be working rather well rite?? haha even i think so....i think dat e onli person i cant tag as is "dan e man to sher"....i saved dis comment as a draft of post in my blogspot editor lol...so many times i tried but i jus cant tag using dat name......haha...must be becos im tagging about the paedophile (shermaine lou) lol.....aiya jialat she must hav preyed on so many children dat she cannot even be tagged about hahaha......

well i feel like doing my work for e 1st time....klove is like super laggy today.......must be all e ppl sharing e lab.....playing games summore....i feel like jus throwing all of them outta e lab so i can do my work haha (like Jesus in e temple....walao!! dats abit extreme but of course i dun really mean it la.....)

ok going to work now....oh yeah for all dose still blur about dis sat's sentosa yf outing, we will be meeting at habourfront interchange where we take e bus k? (sorry i wasnt thinking when i gave e announcement....)...at 11am.....bring extra clothes in case u wanna change....lotsa water and wadeva things u wanna play there as well as $3 for entry.....bring ur frens if u can too! ;) oh yeah if u should eat 1st if u wann or bring something to eat for ur lunch k? guess dats all...if u all need anything can call either me or brandon......u can find our numbers from e yf directory....if u dun hav a directory, then i presume if u noe me well u would hav my number as well....haha nonsense rite? i noe....

40/2

dis is abit random....i feel abit lousy todae........lol its like i wanna praise God since e morning but i feel as if there is no song in my head at e moment.....as hard as i try,i jus cant help but feel affected by not being able to actually praise God at e moment......its like im not happy but not in an emotional sense leh.....i oso dunno la....

but e 1 thing i noe is dat after i post i feel much betta.....mayb in a worldly sense but o wells dat will havta do for e moment.....argh todae i start skool at 8am, i will be having makeup lesson until probably 8pm!! 12 hrs in skool jus having lessons.....dat leaves me lesser time to even plan n do my project n lesser time to sleep as well.....

well i hav been thinking for some time on n off about dis ready....iszit dat good to fall for jus sum1 with a pretty face n lacking the rite values?? i dunno la dats e way e world thinks n dats e way we hav been influenced to think.....i think e way i think is abit wrong ready....dats where respect for individuals come from....i think i should starting to look at ppl based on their character instead of wad they look like...then comes e problem, wad if they hav not very good character as well?? o wells i gott enuf things to think about....dis has 2be one of e last things on my mind now la....when i meet sum1 like dat then i will havta pray dat God will help me with dealing with dat kinda ppl....

40/1 psychoticness

haha ok....im starting to feel e reality of the stress of being in dis world.....as of now.......skool's been really hectic la....crazyness the schedule.....other ppl in poly are still having term test now la.....my term test was like over sucha long time ago la.....gott back all my results...i managed to pass all my subjects with God's help......but the project deadlines are crazy la...(im starting to wonder y im always complaining about dat......) crap they all come at one go la....pass up oso alpl at one go lol.....i'm so praying dat God will carry me thru all of em...really tough mann....

well it seems dis yr i started to hav a lot of commitments la....yf (oh yeah 4 those in my small group reading dis(green tea etc...), sorry i haven planned an outing yet k? pls understand, been really busy, im sure sarabelle is too), outreach comm.....(those few not so bad cos its at least more enjoyable to serve e Lord in dat way.....)but skools has so many taxing commitments to my projects, i haven been doing anything over e weekends as i should hav......during e weekends i jus chill with e yfers.....its like a good break, i forget everything until monday comes haiz sianz.....which i think is rather bad......i should not play so much on sundays(saturdays can play as long as i wann haha)....

well is studies so impt? dat i cant focus on anything else including God? i'm sure Satan wants me to feel dat way....but obviously its not true la....but how? how can we like survive if we dun work hard for it? beats me mann.....dats onli a very small part of how e world has changed into.....i guess we havta do our part to justify God actualli helping us....(dunno if u understand but it makes sense to me....

39/1 brain dead

well im so so tired mann.....i want to jus sleep for a long long while.....jus poof me home pls....i feel so happy dis week.....u noe y?? cos i realised dat grades n all e stuff doesnt really matter.......all dat really matters is dat i'm pleasing God living my life e way he wants me to live it....every morning even tho i wake up tired most of e time, i wake up with a gladsome spirit....i'm inclined to sing praises cos it jus overflows from within me n i feel dat I should worship God!! PRAISE GOD! hahaha....
welll time to go home n catch up with my dearest fren dat i lie n rely on, my bed haha.....still havta eat dinner oh wells....think about wad to do for my projects when im more awake =P thank you for reading my nonsense post...

38/1

well i'm now tagging after my gym session as usual...i feel super strong today.....mayb its e protein drink dat i bought or mayb i hav been slacking....o_O i dunno, onli time can tell.....i'll probably noe tml if i really did tear my body apart......for 1, i dun feel as tired n my arms all dat dun feel as heavy after today's training.....im like so hoping dat its jus e protein drink lol.....i think im abit fat(i admit there's quite abit of fat hiding around the not so obvious to ppl areas(of course its like super obvious to me)), jus as mrs elias park(shermaine the paedophile!!) said but not entirely fat la.....haha dats 1 of e reasons y i bought a protein drink dat supposedly oso burns fat as well.....haha its easy to mix la, dats all i can say lol....i haven used dis brand b4 so i dunno whether its effective or not......
ok i guess dats all for now......i havta go for some glad serve thing which is at emmanuel house.....it starts at 630pm officially.....its like 635pm n im still in skool now haha i'm not going to be early....haha ok la...enuf read for a day ;)

37/1 hav a headache

argh.....finally e weekends are here.....im like wasting thru each week, waiting for e weekends to come......and the deadlines for all e projects (which came all at once) are not getting any further.....im so thankful i gott thru dis week with God's help.....haiz....man its so lousy to be in poly....all dat initiative, i rather be in a structured system like a jc....(haha i noe im saying e same thing again)at least if im in a particular jc rite now, i can see her everyday.....mann i still do misss her sumtimes(when i hav nuttin to think about on my head)......crap, y didnt i study harder for my O levels?? haha e result of more plan n less work haha.....i dun feel too goood about all e projects n all....seems like german to me(well, e concepts of wad to do at least.....)

i gott my last part of my comm ready(well actually its my dad so yeah)......i cant wait to hav a faster running comm.......

i think dis weekend is going to be sooo short im starting to dread monday already........mann i gotta work harder......ok im leaving skool fer bible study......then i gotta meet my frens in e morning tml for project(s) again......sumtimes i dread meeting up with them cos they talk n think like obasan lidat(ok i noe i'm damn bad but im ok even if they noe, its called openess haha oops...too frank..)thanx for reading about my life.......beginning to feel as if the back of my head is getting a throbbing headache......

36/1

well so much for berating myself yesterday.......felt quite bad n all.....then i prayed to God to help me feel betta about myself n all(sounds classic rite now....)......i felt much betta......i was still biaing my project, i thot it was super hard to do......until i actualli gotten down 2 e other questions which are like so easy....can literally copy n paste information from e website plus abit of crap(never go thru life without it haha)......

today i woke up in a very good mood too n i had enuf sleep as well.......with a heart full of praise n a mind not so full of things i had to do i was happy la.....but as e stuff gott more n more complicated, lecturers, tutorials n labs were ok, it was jus e rising complexity of the projects and the increasing initiative i hav to do.....ok la at least i feel betta than yesterday........one of e consolations is dat im actually aching all over which means either i really worked out or it means dat i'm getting weaker but thankfully i think e 1st is true cos mayb i did do A LIL bit heavier(onli) for sum exercises......well going home to hav dinner *stomach indicates hunger haha* n complete my projects due by tml....