graduate lohh

first i must say i really totally forget the amount of ppl who have access to my blog, ppl who know about my blog, ppl who wont really read my blog but yet might once in a blue blue moon pop by for a read or two..........luckily i realised today dat i dun have anything to hide on my blog, i jus blog things the way they are.......thankfully i realise dat i onli blog about relatively honest stuff and the more brutally honest ones are either kept in memory or in my private blog haha........

well i had my graduation earlier today...........it was alot of fun to say the least haha..........hmm let me see if this works....i'll talk about the before graduation, the event itself and after hahaha......so chronological eh haha.......

okk before my graduation,
ella asked me quite sometime back if i could make it for an india mission trip with her, kristine koh, zhi wen and i dunno who else........i readily agreed at dat time but a few days after dat i realised my graduation ceremony was smack rite in the middle of the trip so i couldnt go and because they lacked the prerequisite of 2 guys, which was supposed to be me and zhi wen, they all couldnt go........i hated to disappoint them......then i found out dat kristine koh couldnt make it as well.....but dat didnt really exactly take away my guilt....esp when ella asked me wad i would be doing at graduation.....i replied her, collect my cert and nothing much else, cos i dun really noe........at dat time i felt like really not going for my graduation ceremony.....i knew i could pon it but i didnt noe dat a few of my frens were deciding not to go for it and then collect their diploma cert some other time.......if onli i talk to jie hao, this fren of mine from year one, earlier then i might be in india with ella, zhi wen and whoever else at this point in time ready..........i didnt bring myself to pon my graduation ceremony by the way (duh) haha.....

fast forward to something of the present or recent events,
i went out with my mom jus yesterday shopping for my graduation attire haha.......end up i bought one nice long sleeve green shirt and a shimmery dark green tie.....it felt very good heh......my shirt was bought from g2000, sounds like a expensive brand rite? haha.....got offer dats y my mom bought it, the shirt cost $37.10 after discount.......and the tie i got metro for free cos my mom had $10 metro voucher........so there my graduation attire...i duno how many times i walked to and fro between metro and isetan jus to find the rite tie, shirt etc....

well down to my feelings about the graduation event itself........at first i didnt really noe wad to expect for today..........oh yeah we all, graduands havta wear a special gown lol, and we all had to pay at least $20 plus to rent it (of course more if we wanted to buy the gown for
momento).........at first i was thinking wads so special about this graduation ceremony, must pay twenty over dollars for some gown (designed by tp design students by the way haha) summore, i should not have gone, and i should have gone to india..........haha yeah but today i can say i enjoyed myself quite abit...............i met alot of frens (mostly from my course and very small minority from other courses) whom i didnt see for a long time, and i kinda forget dat poly is a place where there are all kinds of teenagers, thin, more fleshy, short, tall, pretty, average ppl..........its a nice feeling to jus see them all again, reminded of all the times we slogged together in various settings on our projects, with almost seemingly random ppl...........i think being in poly and the same course together, jus to be the normal tp mwc graduating population together means sumtin to me, of course its better if we could all get diploma with merit and stuff like dat.....but for the general average population who is unable to get the dip with merit, jus a diploma speaks sumtin in itself dat we all have sumtin common....something normal......heh

we didnt have any rehearsal on how to walk and wad to do haha......alot of us were quite nervous and scared as our turn came nearer and nearer haha....in fact a few ppl were abit suah gu and a little bit of mistakes were made on stage haha....i guess no one from our course made any mistakes as far as i noe haha....i cant wait to get the stage photos dat i ordered from today....one close up and a full body 5r each shot for $5 i think the price is quite reasonable heh..........after the ceremony everything i walked around at the refreshments area and stuff, i saw everyone taking pictures with ppl they knew.........i dunno la, i felt abit of anti-socialness cos not say i didnt want to take photos with anybody but i would have taken with more ppl if i knew who to take pictures with or rather who i wanted to have pictures taken with and also if i had a camera dat belonged to me haha and not my mom,taking her camera would complicate things alot haaha.......

i feel it alot la (everywhere i go la), its natural la, the bottomline is u dunno dat particular person(s) dat well so since their not exactly frens ur familiar with, u cant really take pictures with them (and talk deeper to them for dat matter) and not wonder y u even did wad u did lol........its a natural thing for me to not talk or approach ppl cos i dunno them and not only dat oso becos i dunno wad to talk to them about...........

end up i happened to take a photo with my fren nai xiang (my fren with me since year one but as usual i didnt noe him very very well) and jun you (someone i knew since sec skool but not too well everything).........i didnt even noe who took the photo for us lol.....some stranger i didnt recognise........must be jun you or nai xiang's dad heh......i happened to be there cos i wanted to congratulate them on their graduation and end up nai xiang jus asked me to come in and take photo....heh i thot he asked me to take the photo for him and jun you then i turned around i realised he asked me to be in the photo lol........its like one of those times dat i was like huh? why did i do dat cause i didnt really noe them dat well......and stuff like dat la.......sometimes its an obligatory thing at times.......heh

mayb a way to explain why i dunno them dat well is cos as a christian i shouldnt participate in all the things dat they do in the world, so since i dun participate in those things they do (like lying or talking about girls and stuff, these are examples onli, jus to help ppl understand, may not be entirely true...), then i dunno them well? i dunno la mayb im jus a loner.....since young, reminising i seem to hav one thing constant in my life, dats being a loner and oso not being really close to skool frens, compared to church frens whom im really close to..............

well ok frankness aside......i oso managed to take a photo with kimberly and hui ling haha..........haha again i was there to congratulate them on the way to get a drink since they wer in front of the drinks table but end up i didnt get to do so......jus photos haha.........quite funny, cos huil ling was the one who wanted to take a photo with me haha....and i didnt have my diploma folder with me, it was with my parents at the end of the hall......so in order to take the picture, kimberly lent me her diploma folder jus to take the photo haha then after dat change over haha.....so funny heh.....ok to be honest i think i didnt really feel wierd like wad was i doing there taking photos all dat, i think its cos i noe kimberly and hui ling betta la i guess, huiling i talked to her more than i normally would cos she was in the same cross disciplinary class for freehand drawing together with me so we talked more and i got to know her betta then haha, im always amused at how she can make me smile by acting silly and talking funny things.....she is this rather short girl but the onli thing is dat she seemed to be very bubbly all the time haha......ok then kimberly was the same group with me for one of our projects, and i must say we did talk more than normally i talk with other group mates haha, i guess dats called mutual clicking........

OR mayb its cos the 2 of them are jus girls who look relatively cuter (duh, then guys definitely) HAHAHA no la dat was a joke........even if i liked them in the relationship kinda way (i dun deny dat i thot about it before, but yeah i think about it with almost everyone i meet so yeah its nothing special), i probably wouldnt let it continue cos they are not christians lol.......if they are christians then say la......or i jus rather wait for God's best choice and not settle for the potential 2nd best option......even tho 2nd best is still good everything, its jus not as good and cannot compare to the best option........so jus waiting for me now la...........i thot long and hard if i wanted to share this on a public blog but yeah everybody would noe la.........i would be lying greatly to myself alone if i were to say dat at this age and stuff, i dun think about relationships, about '"going further than being jus frens'" with ppl i noe, from the opp gender.........its the hormones and also the age that this world has come to, and also the advertisements for products which everybody knows (i hope everybody i know, knows this) are selling some other thing other than their product, like happy families, teaching a false sense of relationships all dat..........adverts are dangerous stuff when u are relaxed and not discerning to them.........haha look wad a simple post about my graduation has become.....but i'll be honest, come on poly is a place with ppl, many attractive ppl and many ppl who will spend so much to beautify themselves for dunno who to see lol......if ur in the company of many different degrees of attractive ppl, the desire to get attached gets stronger plainly for the carnal reason, simple.........i agree with wilson pang, we're all at an age dat we jus want to be liked, to fit in with ur guys frens and girl frens........enough said about dat, im sure the understanding of this topic is so common and shared..........."woah, daniel ur blog jus went up several notches in the honest category".....hurhur i dun really care la.......a blog has to serve some purpose anyway.......

i suddenly realised today dat hui ling and a few others of my skool frens have access to the url of my blog lol but as i mentioned way up on top, i dun mind cos my conscience is clear........may feel wierd for them to read a post about them or wad but yeah....i prefer the brutal honesty rather than the fake facade........was jus wondering wad else i missed out haha then i realised i promised an after of the event haha.....

well well the after event
did i mention my parents and i took cab both to and from my house to temasek poly, abit waste money cos tp is quite near to my house but on the way there was necessary cos i was holding my gown and all......on the way back we took cab cos my mom was very tired from all the walking hah.........but i guess not much difference from taking bus oso jus dat its more convenient, we onli pay about a dollar plus more than wad we would pay for the bus fare (for 3 adult cards combined)........

after the event finished, it was about 7pm like dat (it started at about 5pm or earlier).....we had (ALOT of) refreshments i jus realised, and near one of the ends there was ALOT of food there, nobody was there to touch much of the food there i dunno y oso haha.........there was noodles and siew mai, har gao, finger food, mini cream puffs, and egg tarts etc and of course drinks.......i ate abit so i was about half full after dat......after taking photos, one with mom, one with dad and one with them both, and settling all the admin stuff, we walked about one bus stop from the tp convention centre to the central bus-stop to get sumtin more to fill our stomach haha......mum super tired cos of the walking up and down the tp stairs which was quite a challenge to me when i first came to tp in year one but now im used to it cos like everyday walk up dat stairs to go to walk even more to class haha, legs strong ready haah.......

end up mom, dad and i helped to finish one plate of pineapple fried rice.......cos we werent really hungry haha........i bought a chicken cheese sausage and the 3 for a dollar tapioca cakes from the nearby passar mallam,(and one cup of bubble tea dat my frens and i used to buy when we were still in skool, when we went opp skool for meals and stuff)........the normal kind dat u find at pasar malams, very tasty meal haha.......but i had to tapao the tapioca cakes cos i didnt noe mom and dad couldnt finish the pineapple fried rice they ordered, they said it was a very big portion.........i didnt have much appetite cos i dunno y oso mayb i was thinking of stuff la.........

after getting home by cab, i played guitar for awhile in my formal attire, normally i think dat feeling is quite nice.....even tho im at home i feel the style man, formal attire and playing guitar.....if its outside even more style la but of course in church its not important la........it was quite hot in my room (mayb cos my door was closed, im in long sleeve and long pants) even with my fan blowing at me........after awhile i felt quite sian and stuff cos i was thinking about other stuff as well......i guess come ppl can guess wad i was thinking about by now jus by reading all the way to here haha.......i went to bathe and after dat i felt like posting, this is wad turned out haha.....im going to get myself a good nite's rest and oh yeah! i will remember to pray for good weather to test out the youth retreat games tml and oso for the youth retreat committee as well, before i sleep......i will and i will not sleep before i say amen, it may be tough but prayer to me is sorta like a positive obligation dat must be done if u say u will do it.......in fact everything u say oso should be carried out and u havta follow it, im still trying to keep my word when i say it (or else i dun say anything haha)........with God's strength, i will be able to keep whatever i say and say mean wad i say (at times la, not counted onli for jokes haha but yeah jokes shouldnt go too far....dats y i dun really joke with ppl i dunno, cos i dunno if they can take it or how much they can take.... .. .. ...)......time to sleep now.....goodnite.com (i decided to choose a comfortable green for reading since its such a long post heh)

oh ya ya replies to tags:

jon lee: seriously man a footlong in 5 mins? and u say u enjoy ur food in dat time? ur one kind of a bucket where ppl jus dump food into u noe.....lol if u were competing i guess it would be much worst rite? i dun understand how u can 'enjoy' good food in jus 5 mins......good food must slowly eat then u have the luxury of enjoying every bite every morsel of ur food.....no matter if im eating shark's fin or wad, whenever i eat i always take my time to enjoy my food (except when im rushing for time) haha...

crystal: haha good question........i was thinking of not going, but its still mid week so i cant really think of anything i would be doing for now to replace the time normally spent in yf (except helping out in awana which popped into my head at this point in time)...i dunno la.....if i dun have plans im most probably going to yf.....at the rate things are going i'll probably be there...haha

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i thank God for older mentors to talk to...

well yeah as i told my er sao, i dun really stay unhappy for long.............sometimes i can say dat i dun stay happy for long as well.......heh but im ok now i guess............. i talked to zhi wen about abit of the problems dat i had......y i talked to him specifically i dunno oso.........mayb its cos i really respect his fervence (pardon my spelling, i dunno if this is actually a word haha) and Godly wisdom.............i never talked to him about my problems before but i jus feel he is like a bigger brother to me at times.........but i jus noe dat wad i tell him can be kept in confidence..........(somehow i think got more to say but cos im watching the tv next to the comm, my thots are disconnected and they get lost somewhere haha..........) oh yeah im oso very encouraged by the way he lives his life and the way he knows wad he is talking about (when talking about matters pertaining to the faith and all).........i will type more when it comes to me....

and i must say i really felt much i had a good time pouring my heart out of some of my problems to him........and suprisingly he said it helped him too by listening to me about my problems as well....hmm i cant really see how it can be so lol but if he says so then ok lol..........he prayed with me after we both had a good chatbetter..........in fact im feeling the effects of talking to him even now haha.......he is jus very encouraging as well for his passion for the development of the youths in zion, powerful man...........im thinking if he has the time and if he is willing i might ask him to be one of my mentors lol......... yeah in short im ok ready haha............

some things i brought back from talking to zhi wen:

1) SERVE FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH

2) WHEN WE ALL (2 OR 3) GATHER TOGETHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS, HE IS THERE AMONG US, AND WE ARE WHAT JESUS WOULD BE TO EVERY OTHER PERSON......

3) WE ARE ALL ONE BIG FAMILY

4) ITS BETTER TO MINISTER TO A FEW IN DEPTH THAN MINISTER TO ALOT OF PPL BUT ONLI TO A SHALLOW EXTENT

replies to tags:

jon chua: haha i myself cant tell for sure.......but i guess not rediscovering my old self la......i personally think dat is not possible.....only God knows and whatever it is He is in control la.........eh ur stomach small la......heh

maggie mee: haha thanks for tagging........mayb ur rite mayb not heh.....i dunno oso la, i dun wanna appear aloof and anti-social lol......thanks tho ;)

jon lee: hello? carl's jr oso havta open ur mouth wide to eat wann wad.........i never get a jaw ache from eating good food man......i seriously think u dunno how to enjoy good food haha.......ur not supposed to compete to see how fast u can eat a footlong lol, the joy of eating and enjoying the food is gone man! haha.....i think i could eat a footlong in 5 mins too but i dun wanna do dat hahah....subway is jus as tasty too, and more affordable heh......but still ex.....

crystal: haha actually jus the confirmation dat ur someone i know would be enough, of course i know who u are, pastor eddy's daughter or mark and gloria's sister would be more than enough heh......i'll jus call u by ur name la haha...thanks for the link, i will link u soon........

er sao: haha thank you so much, feels comforting to know ppl are praying for u........heh actually i dun really noe how to describe this feeling oso......haha u noe i appreciate it can ready.......

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children are God's gift

yeah i recently helped out in awana.......on 19th may haha so its still quite recent considering the date today heh.......it was the saturday dat jus passed.........the reason y i helped out is cos i was scheduled to be on duty by justine and shannon and herself were supposed to come to help out as well but i dunno how come no show.......justine no show is understandable cos she was bringing a fren to yf.........but my best fren andrew tan came to help, quite suprising lol, normally he would be running off to spend time with his girl fren, priscilla heh..........but i guess he had to come oso la, cos aunty audrey made him promise dat he would come if not he would owe both me and aunty audrey either $50 or $100 each lol! alot of money lol, enough to cover the new floorball blade i bought, which was $40 lol ;p

anyway awana needed extra helpers on dat day cos it was an organised outing to ang mo kio macs.............ok la.........i had to skip most of the psp (prayer, sharing and praise) session at yf to help out but i dun really regret it cos come of the children at awana were really cute! ooooh, i sound like a paedophile haha but im not one haha........i had alot of fun jus spending time with the little kids...........i think a few of the little kids were very cute, all girls heh.......boys i didnt really go and see............from the cubbies, claris and chloe (cousins), even though they can be quite mischevieous and scream quite abit at times hahaa.......then the sparks, xiao jing and xuan jing (sisters) i think haha............super guai both of them, never cause trouble wann.........but then again mayb i dun really noe them la, based on first impression onli.........

ok la all i had to do was to look after them while they were playing haha........heh i even played the swing myself besides pushing them haha.......but of course i turn the seat higher so my legs almost wont be able to touch the ground haha, i swing very high haha.......like a small kids like dat..............speaking of which i think being a small kid is a very good thing lol, ur so innocent and ur mind is so impressionable and u hardly doubt the good intentions of everybody, to me the ppl with the least of problems is the little children............hmm is this wad God meant by (paraphrased, but the meaning is there) men getting into heaven like little children or sumtin like dat..............if only i could be a little child again, then i wont be so caught up in thinking so much all dat haha..........

nothing much happened haha, im sure everyone sweat quite abit looking after the children haha......i think claris's 2 bottom teeth dropped out haha.......she even showed me the first one and put them on my hand haha......i asked her to keep it and put under her pillow heh.......

andrew and i couldnt or jus werent allowed to NOT eat anything when we went there to help haha.......i was quiet paiseh to spend whoever's money jus to eat something dat i didnt really need to order.......of cos if i really wanted to spend whoever's (i say whoever cause im not sure whose money it is, either aunty lisa's or part of the budget for awana) money, i would have ordered one darn good brownie (i dunno y, im trying all types of brownies from all kinda places, addicted to brownies i guess) and maybe a huge cup of cappucino or latte whatever, then mayb if i want another burger jus to feel satisfied.....but of course i didnt la........i only ordered a double cheese burger lol........by the way i think the double cheese burger price is quite worth it at macs lol, only $2! if im eating at macs and im not eating a evm, i would order 2 double cheese burgers and mayb i buy a drink from ntuc, not a bad meal leh heh..............andrew ordered a sundae haha.......

andrew didnt take the bus back to church, aunty lisa drove him back home (i suppose)..........i took the bus back to church and claris was making noise for me to sit at the seat in front of her the moment i got onto the bus, i finally agreed, but i think cos her brother wanted to ask me how to massage ppl then he bullied her to sit at his original seat then end up she went to the back of the bus to sit with aunty audrey heh...........then after aunty grace got down the bus at j8, i went to sit at her place which was partly facing xiao jing and xuan jing in the front of the bus........so cute and guai as usual, jus eating the leftover fries they packed from wad the awana ppl ordered for all the kids......i asked xiao jing some questions about how old they were and i found out xuan jing and another flames student and her were sisters, they dun look like the oldest sister lol haha.......and i cant believe the oldest sister is only p4 lol she looks like she is already p6 lol..........very cute, xuan jing is like one year older than xiao jing and she was like covering her sister's mouth so xiao jing would not answer my questions haha, but end up xiao jing answered without talking at all haha.............and on the bus they both asked me "why is 6 scared of 7?".......i thot for quite awhile, and i jus couldnt think of it.....the answer is "cause 7 ate 9" hahaha..........lol i was jus smiling to myself after dat lol.........how long has it been since i've heard primary skool humour lol........i cant believe myself dat i couldnt think about it haha.......

children are God's gift, i truly believe it.........i think whether cute or not, its their innocence and the way they think dat truly amazes me about them......im jus amazed by God's little creations......i will post pictures of the cute little girls at awana when i do get a chance to take pictures with them haha......

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a strange kinda feeling

blogger is back haha so is my posting page lol.......i went out and met my wife, titus for lunch today.......had quite alot of fun haha even though we jus met at carl's jr for lunch LOL.......i must say dat the carl's jr burger i ate was really quite good man.......the bacon slices were jus heavenly lol if i got money (or like wise if im short of money, i would go there to work part-time lol jus for the food, well i could work at subway as well, all for the food not so much for the pay hahaa) i would love to eat carl's jr more often lol until i have tried ALL the carl's jr burgers! ... but its jus a pity dat carl's jr burgers (and the meals) are so PRICEY!!! sian man.........if the meals and stuff at carl's jr are much cheaper, i think their business will be much much betta la (not saying their business isnt already good hahaa)...........and actually not to mention alot of ppl will be much fatter hurhur......

anyway i have a great time talking to titus today haha.......pity he had french class la if not we could have partied the whole nite away hahaha...........cant really imagine how we spent like close to 2 hrs together without really realising it......hurhur im sure anyone who has spent time before with close frens would know wad im talking about i guess...........ok i feel im blabbering on.......tsk....

ok actually cos i was watching tv and distracted with so many other thots dat i dunno wad to post about now actually.......amidst the chaos of thots i guess i would post about this strange kinda feeling i have...........i dun really noe how to describe it now but i onli noe im not exactly happy and im not exactly sad or anything..........how i wish i had a concrete feeling instead of not really feeling much of anything.........i dun mind being happy or sad cause there are ways to either stay in dat feeling or get betta in the case of being sad..............mayb its the floating feeling like im not really here or there like titus happened to mention.....come to think of it he is rite to some extent.....its like i finish skool ready but im not in ns yet.....true i got lotsa free time to do alot of thing dat i want to do but the fact of the matter is im still floating, waiting for ns to come..........my parents dunno it but i kinda regret not starting to work about 2 months ago.........if i started working then mayb i would have more money to spend and not to mention more money to 'give to God's work' (much as i hate to admit it sometimes, my dad is partly rite on this if this was his intent of telling me dat.......) to me its for offering, i dunno wad else he meant...........

i feel this loneliness mayb? if dats a way of describing it...........i dunno la.......words fail me at this point in time........i can onli say wad im sure of..........hmm i feel as if the ppl i can talk to are getting smaller and smaller by the circumstances and many other stuff i cant really stop or explain..........(woah it feels like its not the first time saying this, kinda like deja vu....) i have come to accept it as a fact dat frens, even ur bestest frens have to be shared, especially in a setting like church or yf etc, in fact most settings frens have to be shared (i think) in terms of time spent with them, care from them, opportunities to talk etc........im jus shooting off my head some examples......(im physically and mentally tired now, mayb i cant really think dat straight now....haiz)......i dun blame anyone for dat happening cos its natural, we all onli have this much time to spend on who we choose hahah.......im jus contemplating wad i should i do now...........like sometimes in settings esp social settings i feel abit prone to mayb either not really try talking to ppl i jus noe (by face and name only, nothing much else dat kind), talk to ppl i CAN talk to (of cos frens havta be shared.....), or jus shy myself away and do more thinking or whatever i like to do when im alone, is dat counted as anti-social? haha......i dunno anymore.........

in fact i feel as if i dunno myself anymore, seen my msn nick personal msg? HAHA dats quite how i feel now...........i dunno how daniel lee would react to things already, its like daniel lee feels very different......(heh this is the first time im actually mentioning my own name on my blog haha feels kinda wierd).......daniel lee doesnt know daniel lee anymore? interesting.....is the daniel lee danlee used to know a friendly person? if so y is daniel lee feeling like shying away from crowds and ppl he does not know so well? in some sense not going out of my home seems a safe enough facade for me, jus carrying on my 'usual routine' waking late, watching tv, watching shows on the comm, occasionally playing the guitar and packing my room................arre the other things dat i do jus a social, moral (etc) obligations?????? lol

i wish i had answers, alot of answers from my Heavenly Father......rite now alot of things are jus maybeS and speculations stuff....haiz.............

"..................not forsaking the assembling of yourselves as some is.........." (mumbles) taken from somewhere in the new testament of the bible.........its jus abit of wad im thinking about.....go figure heh...........enough rambling "......" time to say good nite......

reply to tag:

Crystal: erhm hi.....are u pastor eddy's daughter? dats the only crystal i remember (there's another crystal by the same spelling dat replied me about audio blogging but i dun think dats u hahaha).........u have a blog too? how did u find my blog? haha.......take care till next time u pop by ;)

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