39/1 brain dead

well im so so tired mann.....i want to jus sleep for a long long while.....jus poof me home pls....i feel so happy dis week.....u noe y?? cos i realised dat grades n all e stuff doesnt really matter.......all dat really matters is dat i'm pleasing God living my life e way he wants me to live it....every morning even tho i wake up tired most of e time, i wake up with a gladsome spirit....i'm inclined to sing praises cos it jus overflows from within me n i feel dat I should worship God!! PRAISE GOD! hahaha....
welll time to go home n catch up with my dearest fren dat i lie n rely on, my bed haha.....still havta eat dinner oh wells....think about wad to do for my projects when im more awake =P thank you for reading my nonsense post...

38/1

well i'm now tagging after my gym session as usual...i feel super strong today.....mayb its e protein drink dat i bought or mayb i hav been slacking....o_O i dunno, onli time can tell.....i'll probably noe tml if i really did tear my body apart......for 1, i dun feel as tired n my arms all dat dun feel as heavy after today's training.....im like so hoping dat its jus e protein drink lol.....i think im abit fat(i admit there's quite abit of fat hiding around the not so obvious to ppl areas(of course its like super obvious to me)), jus as mrs elias park(shermaine the paedophile!!) said but not entirely fat la.....haha dats 1 of e reasons y i bought a protein drink dat supposedly oso burns fat as well.....haha its easy to mix la, dats all i can say lol....i haven used dis brand b4 so i dunno whether its effective or not......
ok i guess dats all for now......i havta go for some glad serve thing which is at emmanuel house.....it starts at 630pm officially.....its like 635pm n im still in skool now haha i'm not going to be early....haha ok la...enuf read for a day ;)

37/1 hav a headache

argh.....finally e weekends are here.....im like wasting thru each week, waiting for e weekends to come......and the deadlines for all e projects (which came all at once) are not getting any further.....im so thankful i gott thru dis week with God's help.....haiz....man its so lousy to be in poly....all dat initiative, i rather be in a structured system like a jc....(haha i noe im saying e same thing again)at least if im in a particular jc rite now, i can see her everyday.....mann i still do misss her sumtimes(when i hav nuttin to think about on my head)......crap, y didnt i study harder for my O levels?? haha e result of more plan n less work haha.....i dun feel too goood about all e projects n all....seems like german to me(well, e concepts of wad to do at least.....)

i gott my last part of my comm ready(well actually its my dad so yeah)......i cant wait to hav a faster running comm.......

i think dis weekend is going to be sooo short im starting to dread monday already........mann i gotta work harder......ok im leaving skool fer bible study......then i gotta meet my frens in e morning tml for project(s) again......sumtimes i dread meeting up with them cos they talk n think like obasan lidat(ok i noe i'm damn bad but im ok even if they noe, its called openess haha oops...too frank..)thanx for reading about my life.......beginning to feel as if the back of my head is getting a throbbing headache......

36/1

well so much for berating myself yesterday.......felt quite bad n all.....then i prayed to God to help me feel betta about myself n all(sounds classic rite now....)......i felt much betta......i was still biaing my project, i thot it was super hard to do......until i actualli gotten down 2 e other questions which are like so easy....can literally copy n paste information from e website plus abit of crap(never go thru life without it haha)......

today i woke up in a very good mood too n i had enuf sleep as well.......with a heart full of praise n a mind not so full of things i had to do i was happy la.....but as e stuff gott more n more complicated, lecturers, tutorials n labs were ok, it was jus e rising complexity of the projects and the increasing initiative i hav to do.....ok la at least i feel betta than yesterday........one of e consolations is dat im actually aching all over which means either i really worked out or it means dat i'm getting weaker but thankfully i think e 1st is true cos mayb i did do A LIL bit heavier(onli) for sum exercises......well going home to hav dinner *stomach indicates hunger haha* n complete my projects due by tml....

35/1 the downside

arrrrrr......im WEAK......im SMALL!!! i jus feeel soooo WEAK!!!! wa lao i jus went to e gym jus now la.......i feel so so weak la......feel as if my motivation jus temporarily(i hope) disappeared la.......im berating myself la....like i cant seem to lift the weights i used to or rather want to...........mayb its partly e stress from skoolwork but i cant pardon myself!! WEAK!! true i mayb fitter and bigger, i may be doing heavier weights than quite a few ppl in e gym but dats not enuf!! there are still ppl much bigger than me!!!!! N obviously they do much heavier weights......totally disgusted by my WEAKNESS!! i can encourage others n give them motivation to train harder but now it seems

well u shouldnt be reading all dis......whoever u are........well sorry......jus feeling so bad cos of all e upcoming project datelines (again!)......mann its e 2nd day after my break la....i havta go home n do up my assignments due in like 2 days or so la.....its really crap la.....n all e stuff of todae really affected my mood towards myself la......jus feel so helpless, overpowered by too many things to do in sucha short time........aftre all its jus e something from dis world......do grades really matter dat much except for a future? obviously God is more impt la....but how do i show it exactly?? haiz....actually i woke up todae feeling quite good......but i dunno y i was jus affected by all dese stuff...mann....o_O i dun like taking e initiative to do so much....

now all i wanna do is go home n sleep, n hope dat it will be betta with God's help after dat.......rite after i find some charitable organization......mumble mumble mumble.......

34/1 last paper for term test

haiz......crap mann as usual i studied for my last paper until early dis morning...about 1am lol.....im already tired from yesterday studying same pattern as it is....almost couldnt wake up....today's paper was madness again....i think it was quite easy la....but i think the paper was abit too long.....still dunno how some ppl could finish it in time or early even.....mayb they studied harder or probably i do e paper slower than them, probably e latter......how i wish i had extra time rite about now(i could appeal for extra thing cos i gott ADHD--attention deficit hyperactivity disorder......in short i cant concentrate so i need longer time to think n all.....)

i'm quite pek cheak cos e last few questions actually i knoe wann lol....its like 20 marks jus giveaway lol......i'm particularly proficient in dat area but i do e paper until gott no time then i could finish it!!! haiz wasted...like about 10+ marks gone jus like dat....i did manage to do abit of e questions but really wasted la.....to think i know the answers but didnt hav time to actualli do it...sian...oh wells no use crying over spilt milk.....wads done is done.....i jus havta leave the rest up to God.....ok a few things to look forward to:

1] the weekends are here,
2] i can go play frisbee for at least a week(im hoping 2 weeks) haha,
3] one whole week of a long anticipated break YEA
4] i can go n fix up my new comm next wednesday...good stuff i should be able to coax my dad to get broadband soon...i can almost say goodbye to lagginess
5] worshipping God with my whole heart......its quite an enjoyful lol.....jus drowns all ur worries away from u
6] getting back into the shape i wanna be (or more less sumwhere nearer there)...

33/1 argh my exams today can kill me

haha i noe i'm quite bo liao but okay im going to post from email to my blog.......i had 2 papers today la......i was like studying for e 1st subject until about 1pm(ok la after bathing all dat).....i slept at about 130am la haha.....i woke up at about 8am lidat la.....i was like quite tired in the term test area.......i so wanted to sleep abit before i finished e paper.....but thankfully i didnt allow myself to even put my head down......i did my planning for the whole paper....scribbling answers everywhere to jog my memory......i thot e paper would hav been quite easy if i had studied like wad i did before(5 times! my dad told me to study dat way)....i spent like 1/2 an hr jus planning n thinking.....the next 1 hr was madness la cos dat was wad i had left to finish the paper......i must have done my paper rather slowly la...until e very last minute i was like still scribbling MADLY!! i managed to finish the paper jus in time....

well i didnt touch much for the 2nd paper until after my 1st paper ended at 11am.....i had an hour and a half to study for my 2nd subject la!! madness.....i tried cramming as much as i could slowly but surely i knew i could absorb abit.....the 2nd paper was even more madness....i spent about 1/2 an hour again on planning e paper......didnt realise dat almost killed me as well.....i hadta do some balance sheet n all.....i remembered i failed principles of accounts when i was in sec skool but i jus managed to scrape thru with the help of my teacher.....mayb i jus wish i had studied and played harder when i was in secondary skool.....i had like 15 mins left to finish the last 3 questions of one section!! i was like scribbling alot but i think its still readible(has to be if not i write for wad rite?).....hope e teacher doesnt deem me a doctor n jus ignore my whole answers hahaha....managed to scribble all my answers on the paper...no time to check my paper of course but im so thankful i had all my main points written on e question paper so i didnt havta think much for the answers to come out on paper haha......

 

anws i'm feeling very bad about not onli todae's 2 papers but on the papers so far as a whole....i dunno wad to think lol....but anyways wads done for now is done....i cant undo it.....
Lord i trust that u will give me wad u deem best for me.......i really pray that no matter wad results i get u will help me to see beyong Myself and to REJOICE wadever results i get in Jesus name AMEN

DaNiEl

32/2 my paper today

well i decided not to be so bo liao as to tag at my own tag-board.......actualli cos todays post will be longer than e conventional tag........hahaha well i had a communication skills test today......i think this subject is just nonsense la.....1st it was e presentation(if u dunno about it, go read my previous posts)....now its sum stupid test on citation and some APA quoting thing la....i thot (like many of my classmates who took e test) dat it would be easy n we would be outta e examination lt after 30-40mins......mayb its jus me la....mayb i did take my time to do e 1st question n all......but can u believe it i actualli spent almost a solid hour doing like 4 super simple questions......i saw my frens going out....i was like "dun worry jus take ur time......soon u will go out too" haha o k now i noe.......nonsense la they all.....dunno how to organise the timetable for the term tests wann la......y they jus put 1 stupid paper which i dun havta study for jus smack in e middle of the week?? y cant they put one of the 2 studying papers (which is tml btw) on today?? at least its more spaced out n we dun hav to worry about 2 papers in 1 day......sianz they wanna kill us la.....no extra study week holiday to actually study....i hav dis term test rite after all my stressful projects la.....wallao o.O ok going fer lunch.....then havta go home revise 4 tml's papers.....hmmm.....till next time..;)

32/1 i want to be the one to hold u high

By The Tree - Hold You High
From the album Hold You High

I drank from this cup
‘Til it watered down my soul
I need you so I’ll thirst no more

I started down this path such a long long time ago
I need to find my way home

Chorus:
I want to be the one that holds You high
I want to be the one that gives You glory – only

I want to be the one that holds You high
I want to be the one that brings you praise

I’m the king of my desires
I’ve tried them all a thousand times
I have got to choose between this world and You

It’s got a grip I must admit
I can’t explain this emptiness
I hurt without You by my side

Chorus:

I’ve cried to you in my darkest hour
And You brought my soul up from the grave

Chorus:

Truly Lord i want to be the 1 to hold u high in my life as long as i am alive

31/3 my term test....

haha finally some more current news.......i hav a term test paper todae.....on youth day!! (actualli it doesnt bother me much....hahaha) all dat bothers me is dat i think i didnt prepare enough for it la......i should hav done like rachel kee la......i should hav skipped yf to study....o.O?? i dunno if i hav e resolve to do dat kinda thing on my own lol......i find dat i like going to yf no matter wad e occasion cos its like a release......i guess yf is 1 of e things i wouldnt miss for e world unless i absolutely had to......i guess i like e frens i hav there........

mann i jus started to revise for today's paper yesterday......e questions were purposely phrased abit alien lol......i had a few rough ideas for each question(which is not goood, i hadta decide what really e question was asking of me la........)......i hope by God's grace i will score quite well for it......luckily i had some facts in my head to put down on paper haha.....ok im going for lunch then i'll go home n study again for tml's paper.........i gott papers e whole of dis week!!! mann....

31/2 on youth sunday

haha im posting on e past again......cos my home comm is too slow(but.....i jus gott e chasis of my new one yeah......it means dat i would hav it up n running by next week lol....cant wait for exams to be over)

oh yeah youth sunday.....we all wore formal.....e feeling is like so zhai la.....powerful......i paired up with chong mian to do offering n usher for one section of the sanctuary......it was quite fun lol.....i wasnt thinking when i asked aunty serene how are we to take holy communion if we're serving it....lol i forgot dat we're not allowed to serve it haha oops....nuttin outta e ordinary happened.......

pastor eddy gave quite an unusual msg on sex la........but he was rite in a way.....if the church didnt talk about it or was too ashamed, youths can onli learn from other worldly sources......interesting n thot provoking.....

alot of ppl said i looked very smart haha.....oops my tie was abit crooked n i didnt noe cos i didnt hav time 2 look in e mirror.....thanx for telling me,rachel (ng)

after dat for some reason or another, rachel ng n i were talking about makeup (after some other ppl n i wiped e holy communion cups.....)....oh yeah i remember..its cos i looked at her face n asked whether she specially put on makeup or sumtin.....she said no...after dat we were talking about whether gals our age should put on makeup n lotsa other stuff...quite interesting, both for her n for me lol......then we talked about e yf banner made up of pictures of almost all e yfers(courtesy of sam kwan n gang of photographers, ding all dat.....)

spent e nite studying for term test today........slept quite late, jus watching some fine tennis by roger fedderer...lol he is fast n accurate, skillful la.......tennis by the way is also one of the sports i would like to improve on besides table tennis.....for e other sports i guess i'm more or less ok......

31/1 on yf anniversary

heyy i jus realised today is my blog's 1 month of posting's birthday!! im going 2 post about the past.....well youth anniversary had its 48th birthday day before yesterday......i must say e worship songs didnt really appeal to me.....onli a few songs did....i guess most of em were quite old skool so i didnt really noe much of e songs....next we had this "message" by theodore, grayhem n amanda's father.......he was quite funny la.....he was 1 of e yf presidents long long long time ago.....he was saying things didnt change.....except now we hav more temptations to conform to the non-christian society.......

he said nowadays ppl go online to read blogs.....said we should be reading "God's blog" which is the b.i.b.l.e. lol....it was so funny la....haha......

then he said we used our handphones such dat our bills go sky high.....we should be spending more time talking to God which he said got free incoming n outgoing calls, unlimited sms, free idd and caller-id hahaha......he said for example, if we were given like 15 cents per minute of prayer we made to God, would dat amount to more than our actuall phone bill? dat was quite thought provoking.......

then daryl shared his testimony about how he came to yf......about all the good, the bad and the funny.......they took his onli fren away! some marksimen...guy haha...super funny la......was quite touched by it....i even came 2 find out alot of things about his personality last time......which is quite like me now, taciturn(which is like silent and not prone to talk(heyy rachel liew u rat....i checked up e meaning....)) except i dunno wad to talk about with ppl.......i was quite touched by his testimony on how he found out dat his gift was to spend those precious moments with different individuals n not to "appeal to every general person".....i found dat quite a thing to think about.....

after dat we had wet games, we were divided into groups randomly......1st we played some super stupid game called nuclear bomb, man & cockroach.......the actions were lame la.....n e game playing was even more lame la.......we had an umbrella on e table and a cuppa watter on the floor and two ppl were supposed to do different actions then the winner had to splash water from the cup before the loser could open the umbrella to win.......quite stupid la.....

then we played a classic game.......water bombs n all.....but they changed e game abit.....we were supposed to carry e opponents jelly with both hands to our side without getting wet.....if we got wet we hadta start again.....quite funn....after dat it was cleanup.....where many more ppl gott wet la.....i chased jerry to wet him n some stone queen said dat (eleanor's) coins dropped outta my pocket at each step lol.....fine i went back but i could onli find like 20 cents outta e wad, $1.70 odd?

i didnt attend e yf cake cutting ceremony cos i went out to the playground with alethia.....her parents scared she get kidnapped or sumtin so i stayed with her until they sorta came(after a long time).....quite funn la....2 big youths were playing the swing n really swinging so high....then looking at e stars n talking abit of nonsense....funny e 2 youths were us hahaha......aftre a while i felt abit queesy lol must be my gastrich la.....i didnt eat anything since my breakfast which was quite early in e morning.....after e psychotic sheep's(baaa) parents came, i went back to church....thankfully there was still food...i ate abit....it was like everyone was sedentary for e day....nobody playing much of anything.........we jus sitt around n talked lol.....talk until quite late still haven ate dinner yet la.....i left church at 10pm! i had my dinner alone at e zhi cha stall near church......gott home about 11pm la.....but i think my dad is getting less strict after family day(tho he didnt go for much of e programme)(can u believe it!?!).....he didnt scold me like e usual lol...in fact he didnt scold me at all....i guess saturday ended with sleep haha (ok i noe abit dots....)